Camp fail - give feedback or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we were kids, we behaved. Or got in trouble. Now, kids don't behave. And when they get in trouble, kids feel oppressed and parents complain.

The camp counselor wasn't wrong. But if some of the kids are wild, it may not be a good place for your DC, regardless of the counselor or consequences.

This is the SN board d*ckhead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of hyper children becomes a safety issue very quickly. No problem making them sit down and regroup. Your child should NOT be having meltdowns beyond the age of 4- this is not an “autistic thing”, it’s just a bad parenting thing. Your kid is not ready for summer camp, stop blaming the counselor for that and FFS teach your kid not to tantrum.

wtf. It is absolutely an “autistic thing.” That may mean the camp is the right setting but holy hell, STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds as though you have a very clear sense of what you think happened, but I am concerned that you might be only hearing it from your kid's point of view, or you might be making assumptions and filling things in with your imagination.

As a special ed teacher, I often have parents who will call me and explain to me why something happened when they actually don't even know what happened, and their explanation doesn't match the events.

Did the meltdown happen at camp? If so, if it ended in a way that didn't come to the camp leadership's attention, and didn't result in your kid wanting to stay home, then I would take that as a win.

If the meltdown did come to the camp leadership's attention, then I would assume that they are already coaching the counselor. If they didn't exclude your child, or demand a meeting, then they must be confident that they have strategies that will work in the context of the group.

If you want to talk to them, I'd go in understanding that part autism, particularly in young children, is a distorted understanding of social situations, and that there may have been very good reasons why they asked the kids to sit rather than moving to a more physical activity. Asking kids to do something that's incompatible with unsafe behavior (e.g. asking a kid running around to sit down) is a pretty common strategy with both children and with people with ASD.

So, if the meltdown rose to the level that there were safety issues, I would go in with an open mind and say "I'd love to know more about this incident, so that we can figure out what skills and knowledge to target going forward. Can you tell me more about what happened?"

I'm also going to say that suggesting that a kid who is willing to go back into a situation stay home has the potential to backfire.

This is all really excellent perspective - thank you and I hope you comment more here! My only caveat is that sometimes the child actually does have a valid additional perspective of the facts that the teacher does not have. This doesn’t mean that the upshot is any different (kid may not have coping skills required for the setting) but plenty of times my kid was able to fill in more details about what actually happened when the teacher just said “he just snapped all of a sudden!” Kids on the spectrum are usually pretty honest so they are not going to actually lie even if their perspective is partial. You may work with younger kids or less verbal kids than mine though.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course you talk to the counselor about how to better support your child. I don't understand why some people are advising otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Nowhere does it say in the OP the counselor is a teenager. Id be pissed about a group punishment. I’d also be pissed that the counselor thinks that kids being hyper should sit still as a consequence.

I’d talk to the director of the camp.

[Anonymous]

Two questions:

What age child
Was the camp/counselor aware of your DD's diagnosis?


Different answer depending.

Oh, make that three questions. Regular camp or SN camp?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of hyper children becomes a safety issue very quickly. No problem making them sit down and regroup. Your child should NOT be having meltdowns beyond the age of 4- this is not an “autistic thing”, it’s just a bad parenting thing. Your kid is not ready for summer camp, stop blaming the counselor for that and FFS teach your kid not to tantrum.

It is absolutely an autistic behavior. You are on the wrong forum.

[Anonymous]

You should not send your child back there if they’re disruptive.

[Anonymous]

If my kids act like that anywhere they aren’t allowed to go back. They can try again next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course you talk to the counselor about how to better support your child. I don't understand why some people are advising otherwise.

I think it depends on what the support is. OP can’t really expect the teen counselor not to use reasonable ways to keep order .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nowhere does it say in the OP the counselor is a teenager. Id be pissed about a group punishment. I’d also be pissed that the counselor thinks that kids being hyper should sit still as a consequence.

I’d talk to the director of the camp.

I think if those are your expectations then this type of camp is a bad match for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nowhere does it say in the OP the counselor is a teenager. Id be pissed about a group punishment. I’d also be pissed that the counselor thinks that kids being hyper should sit still as a consequence.

I’d talk to the director of the camp.

You’re mad about children sitting down to relax? You’re the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nowhere does it say in the OP the counselor is a teenager. Id be pissed about a group punishment. I’d also be pissed that the counselor thinks that kids being hyper should sit still as a consequence.

I’d talk to the director of the camp.

You’re mad about children sitting down to relax? You’re the problem.

it’s not clear what actually happened. A break for 15-30 minutes to calm down and reset seems fine. making the kids sit in corner the rest of the day, not so fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course you talk to the counselor about how to better support your child. I don't understand why some people are advising otherwise.

OP isn't talking about better supporting her child, though. OP wants to give feedback on what she's calling "collective punishment" but which actually sounds like "asking kids to take a break and calm down before moving to the next activity."

One of these things is specific to OP's child and the other is micromanaging how a camp counselor runs the day.

The fact that being asked to sit down for a few minutes triggered an autistic meltdown is a real issue, and the feedback for the camp cannot be "never tell my child no or ask them to remain seated."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of hyper children becomes a safety issue very quickly. No problem making them sit down and regroup. Your child should NOT be having meltdowns beyond the age of 4- this is not an “autistic thing”, it’s just a bad parenting thing. Your kid is not ready for summer camp, stop blaming the counselor for that and FFS teach your kid not to tantrum.

Did you forget that you were posting in the Kids with Special Needs forum. Here, we are kind and respectful to one another.

We’re also honest, it’s not normal for an autistic child to meltdown. It’s indicative of parenting issues.

You need to GTFO with this post. You must be a troll. My autistic teen doesn’t misbehave and never has, but she will have internal meltdowns. And I have experience with multiple autistic families and their kids - emotional dysregulation is literally a part of the diagnosis.