How much does it really cost to have and raise a child in this area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy sh!t. My husband and I make $300K or so a year and there is no way we could make room for an extra $3K each month unless we literally save nothing.

Lots of people save bottom during the childcare years. I stayed home so DH could go full force and earn more. One person making $300k is a lot more than 2 people making 150k each since you aren’t paying all of the payroll taxes and you don’t have daycare costs. Don’t forget babysitters so you two can go out every once in a while and probably at least $100 a month in diapers and formula is very expensive if you don’t nurse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$400 a month max for us. I worked opposite schedule from DP. DC never attended daycare or had expensive classes.
We did coop, some language classes, and library story time. Public school all the way and few weeks of part time soccer camp.
The kid seems to get cheaper and cheaper- just hanging out with friends. Any time DC travels with relatives ( 5 x a year), they pay 100%.
As long as there are no medical emergencies, I don't see anything expensive coming up.

This is not normal. Most people don’t have family they can pawn their kids off on 5x a year for vacations. I just booked one week of summer camp for 1 kid and it was $575 and only 9-2. Kids are not just “going off with other kids” in the summer. They are in camp because this is a high achieving area.

[Anonymous]

I don't think anyone can tell you that. It all depends on the family and their needs. In any case, having a kid means that you have an additional family member entirely dependent on you and you will have to pay for their food, medical, clothes, education, security, EC activities etc.

I am a SAHM so we have never had significant daycare costs. But, as soon as DC1 was born, we moved from an apartment to a SFH. Our entire life decisions and what we consumed or saved for was driven by what our children needed or wanted.

While we did not buy our house based on good schools - our kids did go to public schools. We spent a lot of resources on getting our kids enriched, accelerated and supplemented for their education. My kids landed up in competetive public school programs. That is also another ecosystem, with its own associated cost.

My kids did not go to private colleges, instead went to instate flagships. So we certainly saved money there. But we have paid for all costs ranging from food, accomodation, travel, going out, vacations, clothes, car, gear etc.

[Anonymous]

I think there was a DCUM thread a few years ago about how for every child you need to make minimum $120k. So if you want 3 kids you’d need to make $360k. This was a few years ago so these numbers need to be adjusted up for inflation.

[Anonymous]

This truly depends on your definitions of "comfortable" and "in this area."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$400 a month max for us. I worked opposite schedule from DP. DC never attended daycare or had expensive classes.
We did coop, some language classes, and library story time. Public school all the way and few weeks of part time soccer camp.
The kid seems to get cheaper and cheaper- just hanging out with friends. Any time DC travels with relatives ( 5 x a year), they pay 100%.
As long as there are no medical emergencies, I don't see anything expensive coming up.

This is not normal. Most people don’t have family they can pawn their kids off on 5x a year for vacations. I just booked one week of summer camp for 1 kid and it was $575 and only 9-2. Kids are not just “going off with other kids” in the summer. They are in camp because this is a high achieving area.

I'm not pawning them off. Relatives are taking them. The kid was in Stafford when I checked 360. I dropped them off in Arlington.
They went to Florida in May 2x and going back in June. Most weekends are spent in VA in three different houses.
Just got a sleepover invite, graduation pool party, and a birthday invite. Kid is old enough to be at home 6-8 hours now. May not have time for that 9-12 soccer camp this summer.
My part time job allows kids to come and play on computer. They feed the kids too. Boss just asked why I haven't brought them. He would find them something to do. Completely normal to us. The all sit in back room on computers or phones at work.

[Anonymous]

The answer really depends on what you want to give your kid and what your kid needs. Do you need daycare? Do you want all new clothes or are you a hand me down family? Do you view camp as childcare or are you looking at experiences? Is rec sports or only what’s offered free in school your style or are you going to raise an international gymnast for whom you spend $2k on each of the at least 3 you need each year and well more than $10k per year in travel. Are you going to give them the prom of their dreams or skip it all together? If your kid has special needs are you going to purchase the best of services or are you going to let the chips fall where they may with free school based services?

And here’s the thing. You won’t know who you are until you are holding your child and faced with making the decision. The love you will feel for your child is beyond what you can imagine.

I’m generally very frugal but I bet I spent a thousand on prom between the dress and the send off party. In a million years I would never have believed that would happen. And I spared no expense when it came to dealing with the special needs but my kids were totally hand me down kids with the rare new item purchased by me.

Having kids is a leap of faith. You can’t plan for all of the possibilities that will be put in front of you.