Alz Stage 6: Did your LO do better or worse in Memory Care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People with Alzheimer’s don’t tend to get better regardless of their circumstances.

This is not entirely accurate. While it is progressive and terminal, the right setting and sometimes medication can make a big difference in quality of life.

OP it's hard to advise without knowing more about your situation. Where is your LO now and how do they feel/behave? What resources are available? I am sorry you are in the Long Goodbye, it is such a difficult thing.

OP here. She is at home with me and my family. I am her only child. She has some money saved, but not enough to last more than three years in MC. She is ok with us. She is docile and stays in her room. She can walk, yet slowly. Very, very confused, cannot carry on a conversation at all, zero reasoning skills, about 50% urinaty incontinent. I bathe her, bring her food (she can feed herself still). She still knows my name, but forgets my husband’s, but knows who he is to her.

I am just TIRED after taking care of her for 4+ years now. I worry though, that she might decline so quickly at a MC facility. I also looked at memory care home-type settings, and am considering that route, as it is cheaper, and doesn’t have all the bells and whistles of the bigger MC facilities.

She stayed for a week in a MC institution last year, and was not pleased at all. I wonder if she would get used to one now.

There are home care places that offer respite care. So the carer comes in x hours per week and it’s not full time so less expensive. That can be really helpful and a much needed break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People with Alzheimer’s don’t tend to get better regardless of their circumstances.

This is not entirely accurate. While it is progressive and terminal, the right setting and sometimes medication can make a big difference in quality of life.

OP it's hard to advise without knowing more about your situation. Where is your LO now and how do they feel/behave? What resources are available? I am sorry you are in the Long Goodbye, it is such a difficult thing.

OP here. She is at home with me and my family. I am her only child. She has some money saved, but not enough to last more than three years in MC. She is ok with us. She is docile and stays in her room. She can walk, yet slowly. Very, very confused, cannot carry on a conversation at all, zero reasoning skills, about 50% urinaty incontinent. I bathe her, bring her food (she can feed herself still). She still knows my name, but forgets my husband’s, but knows who he is to her.

I am just TIRED after taking care of her for 4+ years now. I worry though, that she might decline so quickly at a MC facility. I also looked at memory care home-type settings, and am considering that route, as it is cheaper, and doesn’t have all the bells and whistles of the bigger MC facilities.

She stayed for a week in a MC institution last year, and was not pleased at all. I wonder if she would get used to one now.

She'll get used to it. Just visit a lot. Use the money and then if she needs it she goes on long term care medicaid to pay for the nursing home. Most of us have our breaking point. You've done great but sometimes it time to get more help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People with Alzheimer’s don’t tend to get better regardless of their circumstances.

This is not entirely accurate. While it is progressive and terminal, the right setting and sometimes medication can make a big difference in quality of life.

OP it's hard to advise without knowing more about your situation. Where is your LO now and how do they feel/behave? What resources are available? I am sorry you are in the Long Goodbye, it is such a difficult thing.

OP here. She is at home with me and my family. I am her only child. She has some money saved, but not enough to last more than three years in MC. She is ok with us. She is docile and stays in her room. She can walk, yet slowly. Very, very confused, cannot carry on a conversation at all, zero reasoning skills, about 50% urinaty incontinent. I bathe her, bring her food (she can feed herself still). She still knows my name, but forgets my husband’s, but knows who he is to her.

I am just TIRED after taking care of her for 4+ years now. I worry though, that she might decline so quickly at a MC facility. I also looked at memory care home-type settings, and am considering that route, as it is cheaper, and doesn’t have all the bells and whistles of the bigger MC facilities.

She stayed for a week in a MC institution last year, and was not pleased at all. I wonder if she would get used to one now.

There are home care places that offer respite care. So the carer comes in x hours per week and it’s not full time so less expensive. That can be really helpful and a much needed break.

I would not do this. At the end stage they cannot do anything independently. You need 24-7 caregivers and it is way too much to handle in your home. When they can't talk, sometimes they moan. They need to be hooked up to machinery. It's awful and getting respite breaks won't cut it.It's hard enough going and visiting for long periods of time, but then at least you come home to some normalcy. Memory care is the place to be and make sure they having a nursing home and hospice there too for when it's needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did Memory Care make a difference with your LO if you placed them around stage 6? Were there any positives for her/him?

I am at my wits end and considering placing my mother in MC.

Placement is about you as much as for them. Placement gave me mroe piece of mind while also having the bandwith for the rest of my life responsiblities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did Memory Care make a difference with your LO if you placed them around stage 6? Were there any positives for her/him?

I am at my wits end and considering placing my mother in MC.

The only positive is that they are kept clean and safe if the facility is a good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People with Alzheimer’s don’t tend to get better regardless of their circumstances.

This is not entirely accurate. While it is progressive and terminal, the right setting and sometimes medication can make a big difference in quality of life.

OP it's hard to advise without knowing more about your situation. Where is your LO now and how do they feel/behave? What resources are available? I am sorry you are in the Long Goodbye, it is such a difficult thing.

I am just TIRED after taking care of her for 4+ years now. I worry though, that she might decline so quickly at a MC facility. I also looked at memory care home-type settings, and am considering that route, as it is cheaper, and doesn’t have all the bells and whistles of the bigger MC facilities.

The opposite happened with my parent. They prob have lived longer because of the care at their assisted living. They are not in full memory care yet but most people in their assisted living have dementia or some sort of issue. They have memory care on site so parent can move there when needed.

Parent began eating better and had people to talk to so there was an uptick for a while after the move.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was traumatized by my mom’s dementia. DD is autistic and she came first. I had to place mom in a facility