50/50 with three kids, partially splitting up the kids?

[Anonymous]

None of the kids would ever know whose house they’re at or which sibling would be with them. What will be your solution when they don’t want to separate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG totally unfair to the kids who are really going to need each other to get through this. The approach you suggest would eliminate any stability at all for them.

This. Let the kids lean on each other. It’s all they will have as things become uncertain in their world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just schedule a one-on-one evening or outing with each parent/kid once a month. Don't make it so complicated and unstable.

+1 Keep it simple.

Maybe pick a day--Sunday?--and rotate a parent-kid outing that day. Everyone gets a turn on a regular basis, but otherwise the kids are together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like codependent parents who can’t bear being alone - your willingness to strip your kids of engagement with siblings because you two choose to divorce is kind of staggering.

This is really unfair. One night a week they would be without their siblings. If an intact family had a parent take their kid one a special outing once a week would you say this? Is my ex allowed to take any of my kids on a one on one dinner without "stripping my kids of engagement".

Intact families are no longer your barometer as you’ve chosen to divorce with three young kids. Now you go to plan b, which is clarity and simplicity for the kids and the new (two) homes you’ve created for them to grow up in.

This will be a mess as parents start dating and kids start driving. Just simplify and let everyone accept and adjust to your decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just schedule a one-on-one evening or outing with each parent/kid once a month. Don't make it so complicated and unstable.

+1 Keep it simple.

Maybe pick a day--Sunday?--and rotate a parent-kid outing that day. Everyone gets a turn on a regular basis, but otherwise the kids are together.

This is literally what I'm suggesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like codependent parents who can’t bear being alone - your willingness to strip your kids of engagement with siblings because you two choose to divorce is kind of staggering.

This is really unfair. One night a week they would be without their siblings. If an intact family had a parent take their kid one a special outing once a week would you say this? Is my ex allowed to take any of my kids on a one on one dinner without "stripping my kids of engagement".

Intact families are no longer your barometer as you’ve chosen to divorce with three young kids. Now you go to plan b, which is clarity and simplicity for the kids and the new (two) homes you’ve created for them to grow up in.

This will be a mess as parents start dating and kids start driving. Just simplify and let everyone accept and adjust to your decision.

I am actually not choosing to divorce, but trying to make the best of a bad situation. That's for the kind words though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just schedule a one-on-one evening or outing with each parent/kid once a month. Don't make it so complicated and unstable.

+1 Keep it simple.

Maybe pick a day--Sunday?--and rotate a parent-kid outing that day. Everyone gets a turn on a regular basis, but otherwise the kids are together.

This is literally what I'm suggesting.

"Certain days a week" is not a rotation on one scheduled day per week.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the sinking dynamics. I would have loved time away from my brother and would have appreciated time 1:1 with each parent. I am not how well it works for ongoing custody but depending on sibling dynamics, time apart isn’t always a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just schedule a one-on-one evening or outing with each parent/kid once a month. Don't make it so complicated and unstable.

+1 Keep it simple.

Maybe pick a day--Sunday?--and rotate a parent-kid outing that day. Everyone gets a turn on a regular basis, but otherwise the kids are together.

This is literally what I'm suggesting.

"Certain days a week" is not a rotation on one scheduled day per week.

Certain meaning a set day.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. You are not putting the best interests of the children first. They aren’t toys that you split to make sure everyone gets their turn to play with them. Jesus f Christ, do better as a parent!

[Anonymous]

you're breaking up your family. don't break up your kids too.

[Anonymous]

I have two older boys who are v close to each other and a younger girl. Frankly, we split them up like this even in our intact family sometimes. I could see it happening if we got divorced too.

[Anonymous]

Horrible idea. Either work it out or share custody of ALL THREE children.

[Anonymous]

You need to do whats best for your kids. Not all siblings get along so if they don't, its a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG totally unfair to the kids who are really going to need each other to get through this. The approach you suggest would eliminate any stability at all for them.

This. Let the kids lean on each other. It’s all they will have as things become uncertain in their world.

That only works if the siblings are good to each other. My sibling was just pure mean to me. I would have loved to be separated from them.