inheritance question and again, family...

[Anonymous]

Is your cousin the executor? If so, shut up. It's both legal and ethical. And what I want to know a why the cousin is not inheriting if she is the child of the dead uncle.

[Anonymous]

It’s allowed as it should be. It’s a massive pain in the rear to be an executor.

[Anonymous]

OP were you a beneficiary because if not this is not your business. And as it’s been said before, yes your cousin can be compensated for administering the estate. It sounds like it was a nice gesture for your uncle to include his siblings as beneficiaries of his estate. Be happy your mom got anything, most people don’t leave anything to siblings.

[Anonymous]

Usually the court has to approve it. Shady as she should tell you.

[Anonymous]

I am one of four siblings who stand to inherit equal shares of a parent’s estate. I proposed to my sibling who is the executor that they agree to serve without taking an executor’s fee or allow one of the other siblings to do so and they refused — seems greedy to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am one of four siblings who stand to inherit equal shares of a parent’s estate. I proposed to my sibling who is the executor that they agree to serve without taking an executor’s fee or allow one of the other siblings to do so and they refused — seems greedy to me.

Seriously? You obviously gave no idea what a gigantic pain it is to organize the distribution of an estate. Depending on how organized the decedent was it could be a ton of work. Don’t be that guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of four siblings who stand to inherit equal shares of a parent’s estate. I proposed to my sibling who is the executor that they agree to serve without taking an executor’s fee or allow one of the other siblings to do so and they refused — seems greedy to me.

Seriously? You obviously gave no idea what a gigantic pain it is to organize the distribution of an estate. Depending on how organized the decedent was it could be a ton of work. Don’t be that guy.

This is so true. My DH was the executor of his dad's estate. Everything was extremely well organized, everything planned, and still it is a lot of work to do all the paperwork, close everything down, sell the house, sell the car, the list is long. He took no compensation, but again, it was a lot of work and it took a lot of his time.

[Anonymous]

I'm the executor for my parents' estate. I'm the oldest of 3.

It has been ESSENTIAL to have a fund from which to pay late arriving expenses or fees.

I have taken no compensation, because I don't want any hint of any possible conflict w/ my siblings, however it has taken a HUGE amount of time across more than one year to manage this. There is a very good reason that executors are legally entitled to compensation.

You really can't fathom the time and work that goes into managing an estate until you've done it.

Perhaps the cousin should have disclosed this, but perhaps he/she knew what nightmares were possible. Or perhaps they are just doing this for the first time (as most are) and didn't realize something like this would be an issue.

In any case, the OP is about 180 degrees off in their attitude and assessment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reasonable compensation for an executor is not unethical. And a reserve for late field expenses may also be permitted. It's bad that she was secretive but given your reaction, I don't blame her.

She deserves to be paid for her time. She probably should have made that that clear to everyone though.

I think it’s strange she was executor and was expected to work
For free.

This OP…stop bleating, she isn’t your slave.

[Anonymous]

If she is the executor she is allowed by law to compensate herself for her time. There are regulations about how much, but even if it was close enough to regulations, let it go. It's not worth a fight and nobody wants these miserable jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am one of four siblings who stand to inherit equal shares of a parent’s estate. I proposed to my sibling who is the executor that they agree to serve without taking an executor’s fee or allow one of the other siblings to do so and they refused — seems greedy to me.

You shouldn’t insert yourself. Your parent had a reason for choosing the sibling they chose.

I chose to forego payment but took reimbursement for expenses. The attorney advised me to track my time, which I did, in case I changed my mind. It is SO much work, OP, you really need to take a seat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of four siblings who stand to inherit equal shares of a parent’s estate. I proposed to my sibling who is the executor that they agree to serve without taking an executor’s fee or allow one of the other siblings to do so and they refused — seems greedy to me.

You shouldn’t insert yourself. Your parent had a reason for choosing the sibling they chose.

I chose to forego payment but took reimbursement for expenses. The attorney advised me to track my time, which I did, in case I changed my mind. It is SO much work, OP, you really need to take a seat.

You were smart not to take payment for being the executor. Executor compensation is taxable, while your inheritance is not. By splitting everything with your siblings, you and your siblings all come out ahead.

[Anonymous]

Im the executor for my mom (when the time comes). I also am responsible for her care. Sibling opted out. I took several weeks off work, flew across the country to clean out moms home of 50 years, oversee renovations and manage rental process. I pack led her and moved her and set her up in a new place here and am about to mover her again unfortunately. I have spent anywhere from 4-20 hours a week dealing with her decline over the last year, not to mention driving an additional 60-90 miles a week, while trying to hang onto my job and family. . My sibling has visited once in 3 years and occasionally answers a text from me.

I would consider charging my mom for my time and mileage but her care costs have gone up to more than 11k/mo. Also she can’t really consent anymore. Still it burns me that sibling will get half with having done nothing.

[Anonymous]

She was appointed for a reason. It doesn't just happen because she wants to do it. She is not to do it for free. If any, the rest of you should have offered to pay her for her time.
There is so much paperwork to be done, laws to follow the law, and taxes.
I refused to do it even though I may have been the first in line by law. I had to decline even though I was never named or did I want to do it. That's how much work it is. I went to meet the lawyer twice and spent hours on paperwork when I don't inherit anything.
As you say, it's a small amount. It sound greedy and unethical for you to even question it and do the math. Court can see the same paperwork. court doesn't think she should do it for free. Did they think it was unethical? Clearly not.
Ours is going on year two soon. The person is exhausted and so is the lawyer. All was very simple and there was only one person who would inherit it all.
You sound petty. I bet you couldn't wait to get the papers and do your little math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of four siblings who stand to inherit equal shares of a parent’s estate. I proposed to my sibling who is the executor that they agree to serve without taking an executor’s fee or allow one of the other siblings to do so and they refused — seems greedy to me.

You shouldn’t insert yourself. Your parent had a reason for choosing the sibling they chose.

I chose to forego payment but took reimbursement for expenses. The attorney advised me to track my time, which I did, in case I changed my mind. It is SO much work, OP, you really need to take a seat.

You were smart not to take payment for being the executor. Executor compensation is taxable, while your inheritance is not. By splitting everything with your siblings, you and your siblings all come out ahead.

Good to know