Coping with night before custody transition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have your tried nesting where the parents come and go and the child stays in the home?

Unfortunately, not an option. Other parent is… not cooperative. See my replies above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering why no communication? Even when you have the children, they should be able to communicate with the other parent. Are they very young?

I had this situation too. NC parent just didn’t call or contact. The kids would ask about them repeatedly. It was sad.

Then get the kid their own phone that you can call.

I think there is a misunderstanding- my ex wouldn’t pick up the phone when kids called or answer their texts, etc. it was hard to watch.
“Too busy”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering why no communication? Even when you have the children, they should be able to communicate with the other parent. Are they very young?

Other parent refuses despite order that states at least one call and at a time agreed upon by both parents.

One child is a teen and the other is younger. Both are too scared to call me on their own. They will sometimes call (maybe once a month) but only if being directed to convey message and other parent is standing there, sometimes whispering what to say or making snide remarks about me while child and I are trying to talk.

I know it’s unhealthy and not okay but Im at a loss for what to do about it if other parent refuses to cooperate. It’s already in the order so what good is going to court? No matter what judge adds/changes, the kids are still going to be afraid to talk to me freely. Wouldn’t it would do more harm than good for them to be forced to communicate?

Terrible but the courts won't do anything. These mothers are cruel. I had to stop being friends with moms like these.

Fathers do this too.

[Anonymous]

If one kid is a teen, why not get them a phone?

[Anonymous]

Can you text?
Short and uplifting.
Just wanted to know I am thinking of you today as you have your math quiz....
Can you commit to watching a show that they watch at the same time and text after?
My DD is a little older and watches reality TV shows so you could text something like - I could not believe the ending

I am not sure of your agreement - but just things that are very neutral and could never be misconstrued as interfering

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering why no communication? Even when you have the children, they should be able to communicate with the other parent. Are they very young?

I had this situation too. NC parent just didn’t call or contact. The kids would ask about them repeatedly. It was sad.

Then get the kid their own phone that you can call.

I did that. Other parent confiscates the phone. Also, child is scared to talk to me there anyways.

From the replies so far, I’m getting the feeling that I do need to go to court. I’m just at a loss for what changes to ask for given the situation. All the scenarios suggested would just anger other parent, making things worse for the kids.

I know most will say that other parent shouldn’t have as much custody then. While I agree, I have never heard of custody being decreased for communication refusal.

[Anonymous]

Can the kids call or text after school or before, when not with parent?

[Anonymous]

I’d write little uplifting notes and send with them.

[Anonymous]

Going to court may not fix if already in order. What does your lawyer say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand. They don’t want to go back to their mother?

No, it’s not that. It’s the knowing that parent and child will most likely not speak or see each other for at least a week.

[Anonymous]

If the child has a phone, could they call you before school or during lunch? Could a guidance counselor help to facilitate? Sorry, this is all I could think of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There should be communication though often mothers will alienate dads by never allowing it. I know three mothers who did this (i am a mother).

OP here. I am intentionally not saying if I am mom or dad. This is not a gender issue so please, everyone, let’s not try to make it one.

This is about two kids who are on the way to being alienated from a parent. Keep it about the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the child has a phone, could they call you before school or during lunch? Could a guidance counselor help to facilitate? Sorry, this is all I could think of.

OP here. I like this one and can seeing it working! Thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d write little uplifting notes and send with them.

Love this one too. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going to court may not fix if already in order. What does your lawyer say?

I can’t afford one rn and would have to file pro se.