Judged by another mom due to single status

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone said anything like that to me I would never speak to them again and I would not send my kid to their house. Six is too young to explain this to so I'd wait and see if your DD asks to see this friend again and then try to come up with some excuse why you can't do playdates. I wouldn't exclude the child from anything due to her mom (like if your kid has a birthday party I would invite her) but I wouldn't agree to anymore playdates at her house.

It's a hard situation but they can still be friends at school. You want to be careful not to trigger a falling out between the girls because this mom is very likely to bad mouth you to her kid or other moms if that happens. So I'd look to say as little as possible but simply avoid them moving forward.

I am sorry this happened but also: if it wasn't your single status it could be anything. We live in an apartment and definitely feel judgment and prejudice from other families for that. I've been judged for the kinds of vacations we take and being a mom of an only and having a kid past age 35 and sending my kid to public. I've been judged for giving my DD a traditionally feminine name and "letting" her do ballet (some people think you are supposed to give girls more masculine names and push them in to sports so they can be "competitive" with boys).

It's all BS. The people who judge on these things are universally insecure about their own parenting and just trying to convince themselves that they are doing it right. Ignore them. If it wasn't this it would be something else because it's not really about you. It's about their own fears and insecurities.

This is something I’m concerned about since my child has been asking for another playdate this weekend since school is about to start and they’ll be too busy for it then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if this is in the wrong place. Let me start off my saying that I’m a SMBC. My child (6) wanted to have a play date with a friend from her kindergarten class last year. I exchanged numbers with her mom at the end of the school year to try to work something out. Her child has been busy most of the summer with vacations and camps so we lost contact for awhile. She reached out about a week ago to set up a play date. I offered to have it at my house and sent the address. She responded back a few days later and said, she would prefer to have it at her house. I didn’t really think anything of it so we scheduled it. The kids had their play date and in the end, they said the next time they can have it at our house. I said I was fine with that, but the other mother said it’s not a good idea. I asked her why not, she didn’t want to discuss it in front of the kids. She sent me a text that evening and said she doesn’t feel comfortable with her child at my house due to my “lifestyle” and where I live. I asked her what lifestyle is that? She said, me being a single mom. She also added that my address had an apartment number (I actually live in a townhouse style condo) and she knows what goes on with single moms in apartment buildings. I asked what, and she said drugs and violence and women having men in and out of her place. She didn’t want her child exposed to that. I’m completely livid! I can’t even believe how harshly thing woman judged me, but doesn’t know anything about me or my life. At this point, I don’t even want my child at their house, but I know they would be crushed. Not sure how I should handle this. Any advice?

OP, I'm so sorry. That woman is an a-hole and clearly very sheltered and immature. God speed to her and her life; life circumstances can change on a dime, she may end up a single mom herself. What a jerk. I am a single mom myself and I have never encountered someone like her, but if I did, I would calmly give her a piece of my mind and then not contact her for playdates again.

[Anonymous]

People certainly seem to make a lt of jezebel assumptions about single moms. This woman said the quiet part out loud. But plenty of others assume single mothers are either easy, desperate, flaky, poor, moochers, or threats to their oh so stable marriages.

[Anonymous]

I call troll. But if not, your kid can't be friends with this moron's kid. What if there are unsecured guns at their house??

[Anonymous]

I would find another mom friend and not entertain this woman’s demands. Just because you’re single parent, it does not mean that you live in a bad place, have a revolving door of boyfriends, and do something nefarious. If your daughter is friends with the other girl….meet at a park for a play date and keep it neutral. IMO, I would stay away from this other mom….too much drama.

[Anonymous]

What? If you're not a troll, stay away from this broken human. You don't want your child anywhere near her. Move on and find others. I have plenty of single mom friends, and I love and respect them.

[Anonymous]

I hope you told her she has quite a vivid imagination and should be making movies.

[Anonymous]

You already posted about this a month or so ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:troll

Repeat troll poster

[Anonymous]

Total troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if this is in the wrong place. Let me start off my saying that I’m a SMBC. My child (6) wanted to have a play date with a friend from her kindergarten class last year. I exchanged numbers with her mom at the end of the school year to try to work something out. Her child has been busy most of the summer with vacations and camps so we lost contact for awhile. She reached out about a week ago to set up a play date. I offered to have it at my house and sent the address. She responded back a few days later and said, she would prefer to have it at her house. I didn’t really think anything of it so we scheduled it. The kids had their play date and in the end, they said the next time they can have it at our house. I said I was fine with that, but the other mother said it’s not a good idea. I asked her why not, she didn’t want to discuss it in front of the kids. She sent me a text that evening and said she doesn’t feel comfortable with her child at my house due to my “lifestyle” and where I live. I asked her what lifestyle is that? She said, me being a single mom. She also added that my address had an apartment number (I actually live in a townhouse style condo) and she knows what goes on with single moms in apartment buildings. I asked what, and she said drugs and violence and women having men in and out of her place. She didn’t want her child exposed to that. I’m completely livid! I can’t even believe how harshly thing woman judged me, but doesn’t know anything about me or my life. At this point, I don’t even want my child at their house, but I know they would be crushed. Not sure how I should handle this. Any advice?

OP. If the other mom feels so strongly about single parents and, specifically, about your perceived lifestyle, then I find it highly unlikely that she would socialize with you or allow playdates with your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if this is in the wrong place. Let me start off my saying that I’m a SMBC. My child (6) wanted to have a play date with a friend from her kindergarten class last year. I exchanged numbers with her mom at the end of the school year to try to work something out. Her child has been busy most of the summer with vacations and camps so we lost contact for awhile. She reached out about a week ago to set up a play date. I offered to have it at my house and sent the address. She responded back a few days later and said, she would prefer to have it at her house. I didn’t really think anything of it so we scheduled it. The kids had their play date and in the end, they said the next time they can have it at our house. I said I was fine with that, but the other mother said it’s not a good idea. I asked her why not, she didn’t want to discuss it in front of the kids. She sent me a text that evening and said she doesn’t feel comfortable with her child at my house due to my “lifestyle” and where I live. I asked her what lifestyle is that? She said, me being a single mom. She also added that my address had an apartment number (I actually live in a townhouse style condo) and she knows what goes on with single moms in apartment buildings. I asked what, and she said drugs and violence and women having men in and out of her place. She didn’t want her child exposed to that. I’m completely livid! I can’t even believe how harshly thing woman judged me, but doesn’t know anything about me or my life. At this point, I don’t even want my child at their house, but I know they would be crushed. Not sure how I should handle this. Any advice?

Apparently the word is out that you have more than a few guys going in & out of your condo. Like approx how many different guys per week?

[Anonymous]

This sounds so unbelievable but I’ll play along.

Stop speaking to this woman. Your kid will get over it and make over friends.