Is "on the spectrum" offensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

Parent of a young adult with ASD.

Yes, I feel like it's offensive when it's casually rolled out, as you describe. Particularly when it's used with such a negative intent.

*Somehow* it is still acceptable to be so outwardly discriminatory, even on this very site. It's rare that someone says the same, referencing a potential religion, race, or sexual orientation, to make their point.

[Anonymous]

PP above. To add, regarding comments even on this site, many times I see an OP describe bad behavior from a spouse, friend, or colleague--and the follow up remarks ask or conclude, that "that person" must be on the spectrum to behave that way.... Thankfully we would never reply that person must be "X color" or "X religion" to act that way.

[Anonymous]

I find it offensive for two different reasons. Although I wouldn't personally confront it or make a big deal, it makes me cringe:

1. when a colleague (or anyone) says that about anyone else who they think is weird, it is annoying. Someone can be weird and not Autistic, and vice versa. It also bothers me when someone says "Oh I'm so ADHD, haha!" or OCD. Those things are real, and not funny or light or the way to explain that you don't like sticky stuff on your hands or that you lose your keys.

2. I am a parent of an Autistic child and I hate it when people say "on the spectrum." I find it exclusively used by parents who want to minimize their child's diagnosis or challenges, or mean "my kid is just a tiny tiny bit Autistic." Autism is not a dirty word. I understand, believe me, my kid reminds me frequently that I said "you are just a tiny tiny bit Autistic," and literally put up my fingers in the tiny tiny motion. So that quote was mine. I didn't want to believe it, and I was trying to tell my kid "you're almost almost normal!" "there's nothing wrong with you!" Which, in hindsight, meant I was saying I don't want this to be wrong with you.

Now I know, there is nothing WRONG with my child. She's different, and AUTISTIC. It's not a dirty word. I don't say she's "on the spectrum" I don't even know what that means. It's not a slide rule like you're either a tiny bit Autistic or like a really really bad Autistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it offensive for two different reasons. Although I wouldn't personally confront it or make a big deal, it makes me cringe:

1. when a colleague (or anyone) says that about anyone else who they think is weird, it is annoying. Someone can be weird and not Autistic, and vice versa. It also bothers me when someone says "Oh I'm so ADHD, haha!" or OCD. Those things are real, and not funny or light or the way to explain that you don't like sticky stuff on your hands or that you lose your keys.

2. I am a parent of an Autistic child and I hate it when people say "on the spectrum." I find it exclusively used by parents who want to minimize their child's diagnosis or challenges, or mean "my kid is just a tiny tiny bit Autistic." Autism is not a dirty word. I understand, believe me, my kid reminds me frequently that I said "you are just a tiny tiny bit Autistic," and literally put up my fingers in the tiny tiny motion. So that quote was mine. I didn't want to believe it, and I was trying to tell my kid "you're almost almost normal!" "there's nothing wrong with you!" Which, in hindsight, meant I was saying I don't want this to be wrong with you.

Now I know, there is nothing WRONG with my child. She's different, and AUTISTIC. It's not a dirty word. I don't say she's "on the spectrum" I don't even know what that means. It's not a slide rule like you're either a tiny bit Autistic or like a really really bad Autistic.

NP

Thank you for sharing this perspective. I tend to say DD is autistic or has autism because "on the spectrum" feels like a euphemism and of course there is no need for a euphemism.

That being said DD is young, very verbal and solidly average IQ and often presents to people as NT (she is not) because social demands are not that high at her age. So sometimes saying "autistic" feels like it might confuse people. It's okay to me if they are confused, but I think people say "on the spectrum" to convey low support needs - like they are not claiming their child has profound disabilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a stupid term that became a slang term that people use because everyone else uses it

Not in my social circle. I think among parents with younger kids it's widely understood to be bizarre and offensive to use "on the spectrum" to describe a person that you simply know to be "quirky". An alarming number of our kids have actual diagnoses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People aren’t going to stop doing this. They refer to all kinds of things as “bipolar” as well. I get mad, but definitely can’t do anything about it.

We can always do something about it. We don't have to tolerate unkindness (or evil) in the world.

[Anonymous]

So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?

Uh yeah it is better to say "quirky" than "on the spectrum" if you are not referring to an actual diagnosis

Smh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?

That would be the kind thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

You call your kid a "SN kid" but you are offended when people say "on the spectrum"?

Does your house have any mirrors?

Do you have any critical thinking? Why are you on the SN Board? OP has a child diagnosed with special needs. Duh. It is rude to make armchair diagnoses of people because you find their behavior weird. Why do have to explain this to an adult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?

Seriously? Why do you need to comment on anyone at all? Are you the office gossip or bully? You sound super unprofessional and I’m sure people that are more mature and in higher level jobs notice.
Do you find these things acceptable to say? “Jack in accounting is really gay, right?” “Sally in marketing seems like a fundamentalist homeschooler.” “My boss is bipolar because I never know if he’s going to be in a good mood.” “ Bob seems kinda ghetto.” Evan in IT is definitely on the spectrum, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it offensive for two different reasons. Although I wouldn't personally confront it or make a big deal, it makes me cringe:

1. when a colleague (or anyone) says that about anyone else who they think is weird, it is annoying. Someone can be weird and not Autistic, and vice versa. It also bothers me when someone says "Oh I'm so ADHD, haha!" or OCD. Those things are real, and not funny or light or the way to explain that you don't like sticky stuff on your hands or that you lose your keys.

2. I am a parent of an Autistic child and I hate it when people say "on the spectrum." I find it exclusively used by parents who want to minimize their child's diagnosis or challenges, or mean "my kid is just a tiny tiny bit Autistic." Autism is not a dirty word. I understand, believe me, my kid reminds me frequently that I said "you are just a tiny tiny bit Autistic," and literally put up my fingers in the tiny tiny motion. So that quote was mine. I didn't want to believe it, and I was trying to tell my kid "you're almost almost normal!" "there's nothing wrong with you!" Which, in hindsight, meant I was saying I don't want this to be wrong with you.

Now I know, there is nothing WRONG with my child. She's different, and AUTISTIC. It's not a dirty word. I don't say she's "on the spectrum" I don't even know what that means. It's not a slide rule like you're either a tiny bit Autistic or like a really really bad Autistic.

NP

Thank you for sharing this perspective. I tend to say DD is autistic or has autism because "on the spectrum" feels like a euphemism and of course there is no need for a euphemism.

That being said DD is young, very verbal and solidly average IQ and often presents to people as NT (she is not) because social demands are not that high at her age. So sometimes saying "autistic" feels like it might confuse people. It's okay to me if they are confused, but I think people say "on the spectrum" to convey low support needs - like they are not claiming their child has profound disabilities.

PP here and yes, this was my kid too. When she was young, I also said "on the spectrum" to help others understand she wasn't "that bad." Now, she's informed me that this was not helpful and minimized her very real support needs. She's very verbal, has a solidly average IQ, and has pretty severe sensory and executive functioning needs that can be pretty disabling. She's done a lot of research and learned that people make a lot of assumptions. I still have the discomfort of saying I have an "autistic teenager" (because that is the language she prefers) and know that people may picture someone who is non-verbal or who has an intellectual disability. She says that's too bad, because a non-verbal person can have very very high IQ and a a very verbal person can have very high support needs in another area.

[Anonymous]

Usually "casually rolled out" to explain quirky or unusual behaviors. How else would you prefer people refer to these behaviors?

[Anonymous]

Google the Euphemism Treadmill.

One generation’s appropriate clinical term is the next generation’s insult. Forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On the spectrum as a term is not offensive. However, saying someone is on the spectrum because you perceive them as quirky can be offensive and derogatory.

This. It's not offensive if it's accurate.