This. I would not try to push her to fit into that crowd. It sounds like she had found friends that like her as she is. |
+10000000 |
+1 |
You can show her clothes and see what she thinks but please don't force her to wear what she doesn't want to. As for making friends joining a school club or after school activity that is about something she's interested in is more important than what she wears. |
OP I have a non-fashion conscious rising 7th grader and I appreciate what you're trying to do here. But my 7th grader does have really strong opinions, and some of the regular middle school uniform is not her thing. Hottie hot or Nike pro style shorts? Yes. Flare leggings and hoodies? Yes. Boxy cropped tees. Hates them. Frayed jean shorts? Hard pass. Spaghetti tanks? Definitely not. Does your daughter have any opinions? If so I think you can walk a line of focusing on what she likes that's typical without completely changing things up. Like the band tee idea. |
Referring to 7th grade girls as “basic B”. Stay classy and never change DCUM moms. 🙄 And you can say oh I wasn’t calling the girls that, just describing how they dress, but that’s no better. You are an adult. Grow up and get over your hurt feelings about your MS experience. |
This is good advice too. I am one of the PPs who provided suggestions and there is variety in the standard 7th grade girl wardrobe. My DD is also not comfortable with the spaghetti strap tanks or super short crop tops, but there are other top options out there that are still standard 12 year old girl attire. |
But OP says the friends are already dressing like this. At our school, if you aren’t dressing like the goth/furry crowd, you dress like this regardless of your friend group. |
Clap. Clap. You must be so happy with yourselves to call tween girls names. Your mom really raised you right!! |
Ignore them. I doubt they even have girls, or if they do they are still very young. |
Oh wow, OP, there is so much to unpack here, but please, please, please stop pushing your child to be friend with kids that aren't necessarily her people. My mom was a lot like you and I really hated this about her. She has always been so focused on status and I was just not made to be the kid that she wanted. Don't be that mom. Let her do her own thing. |
To start off stop calling clothing “ pieces”
Take her shopping over the summer to pick out a few things but then wait til school starts again because tastes change along with friend groups. |
She is old enough that you should take her shopping and let her pick out what she likes. |
OP here- I get it. I do not need her to be "cool." She is bummed when she sits alone at lunch, though she is so sweet- "it's OK, Mom, I am reading a really good book." The girls she has gathered with are all very socially on the same level. She invited them for a pool party for the end of school (this was her big moment where she asked people over she had never socialized with) and they were all playing pretend games and four square. They were very polite and exchanged book recommendations. They sent thank you notes after. This is not a "cool" group of girls. My daughter would not wear many of the things mentioned, but she also hates shopping and asks me to just pick things for her. She would not wear jean shorts or crocs or white sneakers or crop tops but I am just looking for ideas that would fall in the range of things she does like. |
Middle school kids I've seen wear a lot of shirts from their favorite activities, like 5k race shirts, basketball camp shirts or swim team shirts. Activity shirts are even more popular in the quick dry version. It's almost a free wardrobe. Just throw in crocks and few pairs of athletic shorts. |