Is this some sort of weird midlife crisis?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 51 yo male and have some really nice intelligent friends that are early-mid 30's. Not sure what the big deal is here. Just adults hanging out.

A lot of maturing happens in those 10 years. Have you hung around these mid-20s kids recently?

I have a mid-20s kid who has a solid corporate job. I genuinely enjoy his company and that of some of his friends. I'm in my late 50s. Would I choose to spend all of my time with them and vice versa? No. But they have an interesting and different outlook on a lot of social and political topics, are well traveled and well spoken, and it makes for an interesting evening. Staying within your own circle is limiting, so why not?

I’m the 49F who just posted and I have teens. My first thought when the 20-somethings say something to me at work is this kid is x years older than mine!!! But I am a naturally stodgy person but I don’t want to be that way. So I listen to them with open ears and mind. I try and remember myself when I was less jaded too.

[Anonymous]

I manage teams of 20somethings on rotating projects and they tease me as the old man, but also ask me to hang out with them, which I'm not interested in doing.

It's not a midlife crisis.

[Anonymous]

OP wishes she had friends...young or old...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems totally reasonable for him to occasionally get out to have a drink with his coworkers. It's up to him if he thinks that's a good use of an evening or not. You should also get to get away and make choices about how to spend your time.

+2

You sound jealous and uptight op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 42. He recently switched jobs and is now suddenly “bros” with his much younger, mid-20-something male coworkers. He could be their father. They are always texting him asking him to get together for drinks, and it’s like some weird ego boost for him—they think he’s really cool. He doesn’t ever take them up on their offer because life, kids, responsibilities, but they are always texting trying to get him to come out with them. He shares the texts with me and I think deep down, he’d love to and is just waiting for me to be like, “Just go, I’ll get the kids to bed,” while also knowing this would be a waste of a “night off”, if that makes sense. Is this a midlife crisis? I’m reminded of the book/movie Little Children, and the husband who became obsessed with skateboarding with the neighborhood teens.

OP, you honestly do not see a difference here?

Why is this so triggering for you?

Why not just ask him if he wants to go and plan for it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 42. He recently switched jobs and is now suddenly “bros” with his much younger, mid-20-something male coworkers. He could be their father. They are always texting him asking him to get together for drinks, and it’s like some weird ego boost for him—they think he’s really cool. He doesn’t ever take them up on their offer because life, kids, responsibilities, but they are always texting trying to get him to come out with them. He shares the texts with me and I think deep down, he’d love to and is just waiting for me to be like, “Just go, I’ll get the kids to bed,” while also knowing this would be a waste of a “night off”, if that makes sense. Is this a midlife crisis? I’m reminded of the book/movie Little Children, and the husband who became obsessed with skateboarding with the neighborhood teens.

And . . . why don't you do this?

[Anonymous]

DP: I wouldn’t tell him how to manage his relationships with his colleagues. He can be an adult and raise the issue if he wants to go.

But it’s not weird either. My staff is 27-30 and I’m 38. We get drinks every couple of months. It’s not “being bros” it’s taking an interest in people’s lives.

[Anonymous]

Lol I am 48 and I think I am the oldest at my tech company. I don't know about women but we men do get along very well regardless of age. We don't gossip we just drink talk sports politics women stupid shit and go home.

[Anonymous]

OP they are all adults. What do you think will happen at a night out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The more he says no the less frequent the texts will be. He would be smart to say yes once in a while just for the sake of teamwork. This isn’t a midlife crisis unless all the 20 somethings were female and he went out a lot with them.

agree. although if his coworkers were primarily female that would be okay too

[Anonymous]

Whatever he needs to do to keep his job

[Anonymous]

No, that is not a midlife crisis.

And he should feel free to spend a reasonable amount of time out with new friends from work. Socializing with people you enjoy and building work relationships is not a "waste."

[Anonymous]

This is not weird at all. It's normal. Mid 20s can be friends with adults of any age.

No issue with him going out with coworkers.

OP: You are the werid one in this scenario.

(mid 40s woman here)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 42. He recently switched jobs and is now suddenly “bros” with his much younger, mid-20-something male coworkers. He could be their father. They are always texting him asking him to get together for drinks, and it’s like some weird ego boost for him—they think he’s really cool. He doesn’t ever take them up on their offer because life, kids, responsibilities, but they are always texting trying to get him to come out with them. He shares the texts with me and I think deep down, he’d love to and is just waiting for me to be like, “Just go, I’ll get the kids to bed,” while also knowing this would be a waste of a “night off”, if that makes sense. Is this a midlife crisis? I’m reminded of the book/movie Little Children, and the husband who became obsessed with skateboarding with the neighborhood teens.

So your husband is their superior/boss? Sounds like they're just sycophantically kissing his *ss; office brown nosing.

Is your husband rich? Flashy car? Are you an abnormally attractive wife? Is he a scratch golfer? You live in a multi-million custom mansion? Those are things "bros" would possibly be actually jealous of.

[Anonymous]

Not a midlife crisis,