37 year old woman: any hope for love?

[Anonymous]

Are you in therapy?

[Anonymous]

Hello Bhabi

[Anonymous]

I would think you would have your pick of a wide range of men, provided that’s what your rally want. If your priority is a child over a husband (no judgment) you just need to be honest with yourself and if you still decide to date, honest with your partners.

[Anonymous]

You should have no problem. You may have to break up with some men quickly if you start to think they aren't marriage material. Many men will want to date you.

[Anonymous]

OP: you would have been perfect for me 5 years ago. I was just divorced, late 40s, and looking to start a new family. I'm tall, have a PhD, and I'm reasonably well-off. No addictions and I love to cook. I've been in a relationship with a younger woman for the past 2 years.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I don’t have faith in myself anymore as I picked wrong the first time and did not have the wisdom to leave earlier. I also was chosen by someone who had issues. Not exactly a great catch!

How am I supposed to make the right decision as now I’m over the hill, bio clock ticking and traumatized?

[Anonymous]

If you’re Indian can you go back in the matchmaker pool? I think you will have lots of options. You’re still young enough to have kids.

I’m also divorcing but mid-40s with kids, I’m worried that will be even tougher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: you would have been perfect for me 5 years ago. I was just divorced, late 40s, and looking to start a new family. I'm tall, have a PhD, and I'm reasonably well-off. No addictions and I love to cook. I've been in a relationship with a younger woman for the past 2 years.

This describes my STBX, who has anger issues and possible borderline.

One thing I would caution you OP is not to be too desperate with guys and feel you should take just anyone. Watch some Matthew Hussey videos online. His approach to dating helps a lot with confidence, having standards and putting yourself out there in an authentic way to meet someone who is great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t have faith in myself anymore as I picked wrong the first time and did not have the wisdom to leave earlier. I also was chosen by someone who had issues. Not exactly a great catch!

How am I supposed to make the right decision as now I’m over the hill, bio clock ticking and traumatized?

Stop being so hard on yourself. Trying to make a marriage work is not something to regret, you took your vows seriously. You are not over the hill, plenty of women get married older than you and it all works out fine.

[Anonymous]

OP, freeze your eggs to give yourself some time and flexibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a slender Indian woman who is recently divorced. I do not have children as my husband had addiction issues and due to my cultural background I regrettably spent too long trying to make the marriage work.

I am quite attractive; maybe a 6 on the looks scale. Slender, well groomed and dress in classic clothing. I’m so sad and embarrassed to be single again and with no children even to show for it!

I fear all the good men are taken and no one will want me. I am open to men of all ethnicities.

Focus on professional and financial success, explore hobbies, join fitness group, volunteer, groom yourself, be sociable. You'll attract more and better men than actively pursuing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, freeze your eggs to give yourself some time and flexibility.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Be patient and have faith. I do understand that you might want kids and to settle down fast. But please believe there is a man for you out there.

[Anonymous]

If OP is thin and Indian, she is probably an 8 or 9, not a 6.

[Anonymous]

First let me say that I met DH at 37 and had kids at 38 and 40. I was never married (but had wasted time on someone I thought I would marry) he was divorced. I didn't waste my time when I found myself 36 and single--dated, but if someone was a flake, I moved on.

Second, I also want to say that at 37 I felt immense pressure to have kids. And, most days, I 'm glad I did, but it also pressured me to make a decision quickly, maybe settle. I think that life without children can also be wonderful and freeing--it seemed like "failure" to me at 37 but now that I'm in my earlly 50s I think my friends who either had kids young or not at all are the happiest. Think about raising kids (one with a learning disability), being a stepparent, taking care of parents (One with dementia, one with parkinsons), etc as you're older, its a lot of stress--not how I pictured things. If you have money, or one kid, its easier of course and best to do with someone who is a great partner. Not trying to dissuade you, but you can either really try to find a man to have a kid with, or find a life partner, but they may not be the same. I compromised, and its fine, but I think i would have been just as fine if I had waited a few years for the baby fever to die down, because life is kind of hard right now. All my choices,and i own them, and I love my kids so much (which is why its hard). Of course, back then I didn't have the money to freeze eggs and it wasn't really as good as it is now so it didn't seem worth it. Might be for you, just for peace of mind.

Either way, you will be fine and have plenty of dating options. Just maybe not exactly the way you pictured, but life never is.