OP here and I wouldn't expect most family members to even care about me being in town, but to me my aunt and uncle were on the level of my grandparents I adored and who passed away long ago. I saw them as part of my inner circle of "people who truly, really care forever". So that's why it hurts. It's like the circle is getting smaller. And to people who say they shouldn't drop everything, I 100% understand that, but this is literally a very small trip change, leaving one day early from a long trip. It's something I'd do if I cared about someone. |
I value every human life, whether I know them or not. You're wrong. |
OP, I empathize, but I agree with the PP. |
The thing about life is that we admire and look up to people when we are young and as we age, the realities of life show us that everyone has faults. Just as you are living your life, so are they. Be happy they are alive and able to enjoy their years doing as they please. They likely made sacrifices for decades prior to this. It’s ok OP. I think we all experience the realities of life at different points. It doesn’t mean they love you any less, it’s that they too are human and want to experience enjoyment and fun on their trip. |
OP, I'm sorry. I have felt this way a lot over the past couple of years. I am lucky in that I do have some people who really care about me and my kids, but fewer than I thought I "should". I thought I was building community here and really I wasn't. For me, this disappointment has me feeling much more apathetic about national and global events, including elections. If hardly anyone cares about me, why should I care about them? |
Your value doesn't translate to any substance. |
Thank you. I think as I am getting older I'm realizing people are inherently selfish, and while I don't mind and even like showing people I like them by making efforts, a lot of people won't ever make efforts for me, and do I really want non-reciprocal relationships? Would it be healthier to just be more self-centered and stop caring so much? It might be. I am feeling myself putting up more walls. I just didn't expect to feel that way with someone I felt that close to. |
It would if I knew you. |
The problem with “building community” is that most people want the same few spots, and won’t be satisfied with “just being included” after a certain point. I’ve been on both sides, btw. |
Sorry, that's just not believable. And what with you NOT knowing anyone hear, my "it means nothing" still stands. |
My husband is the only one that cares about me. My cats love me too. |
You're the adult now. It's your turn to taken are of your beloved aunt. Or become a beloved aunt. |
Since the pandemic, people have very little left over. They are overwhelmed and barely have time to get through things for themselves and immediate loved ones.
Yes, it is ok to be sad to realize certain friends or family members don't show up when you need them to. A lot of that has happened lately. Take this as a moment to feel sad but also develop more relationships with those who have your back, and make sure to be there for them as well. I use it as an opportunity to find more people who have the capacity for others and keep those close who are always there when I need them. |
I feel the same way sometimes. We are always the planners and hosters but not much reciprocity.
I try not to care so much about reciprocity and just focus on being in the present. If I enjoy spending time with people then I consider it time well spent - who cares about whether they 'care about us? |
This is where I am. I am realizing more and more that people are just generally selfish and self-involved. I have an acquaintance who is always talking about how wonderful her village is, when in actuality it’s all the people who do a stuff for her that she never reciprocates. Where’s my village? Why am I always helping and never receiving. |