Manager asks for honest feedback, wants to talk about her downfalls. How honest do you get?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why isn't her manager (or even skip manager) dealing with this?

This.

Completely inappropriate behavior to talk to you about her relationship with your peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would frame everything in terms of how you are affected by her style. Use "I" statements and avoid "you do this."

And for God’s sake don’t assume you know what it’s been like for others on the team. Just talk about your own experiences. If people left and complained chances are you don’t even know the half of it.

[Anonymous]

Where is that Admiral Ackbar gif when you need it…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too dangerous. This isn't your job.

+1 Delicate situation requiring a balance between honesty and diplomacy. I like the 360 review suggestion.

Suggest she reach out to HR--who received the feedback--and work with them to develop and implement appropriate training programs and even seek mentorship from more experienced leaders.

[Anonymous]

Kelly, I have been fine with your management style, frankly, so I do not understand what feedback I can give you for improvement. I see you as an amicable manager at least to me and you do not do excessive micromanagement.

If there are people who like a different management style than yours, then I think we can start using some project management software with clear goals, SOP, priorities, permission hierarchies and ownerships to understand where the bottlenecks are, if there are bottlenecks.

[Anonymous]

Tell HR she asked you. That’s probably part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Someone who talks about "downfalls" lacks the communication skills to take on a task like this. Demur and decline.

[Anonymous]

She’s using you. Stop playing her game. You sound like a poster from a few weeks ago who wrote asking how to tell someone that management wanted them off of a project?

Same you? If so, she’s making you do her dirty work again.

[Anonymous]

Is this a federal govt manager?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too dangerous. This isn't your job.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell HR she asked you. That’s probably part of the problem.

Yes I would do this and ask how they would like me to proceed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. This is directly from my manager. Possibly prompted by the HR reporting.

Thank you PPs this will be a direct conversation.

Suggest a 360. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She would like to know her downfalls from the employee perspective. We have lost four team members who all complained to HR apparently about her management skills.

FWIW she is not someone who explains well what she is seeking from her employees and often changes course without clarity. These are frustrations the team consistently talks about amongst ourselves.

How would you word it?

Yikes

No upside to this

Light and breezy, hit the main highlights.

Keep it to less than 3

[Anonymous]

Dude, she is fishing for information about what your coworkers said about her. Come on OP. HR is involved, think. Do not speak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is that Admiral Ackbar gif when you need it…

I'll double down by adding Sargent Schultz (for those of us of a certain age)



Seriously, this is red flag territory. No upside and endless downside.