Need to leave but don't know how

[Anonymous]

Are you asking if you can move out with your daughter? Yes, but why not get a custody order and move out with her? Are you paying the entire mortgage? Get a second opinion from a lawyer that you trust. It seems like you and your lawyer do not have a plan in place.

[Anonymous]

I’d see a new lawyer. You can file for divorce while living in your home and then move for an immediate custody agreement. Just move yourself into a spare bedroom or the couch to avoid him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has some type of anxiety or OCD that causes him to rage daily and sometimes stay in bed for days at a time. He is very critical of our 9 year old and I think it's starting to affect her. I can't stay in this marriage, but I'm the sole breadwinner. My lawyer advised that I move out. I'm concerned about moving out without a custody agreement. Could this be a problem?

You need to be getting legal advice on this topic, not listening to random people on the internet. It sounds like you're talking to a lawyer, so I would listen to what they are saying.

I have just turned 10-year-old girl twins so I feel for you. I am proud of you for doing what is best for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

^^I meant to add. Start filming every time he rages. Record it preferably on video but at least on audio.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you loved your DH and love DD, why not get him professional help to improve his mental health?

Is this "some type of anxiety or OCD" new? Is it highlighted because he isn't earning enough and you are?

NP...I loved my exdh also but I could not 'get him help'-he refused to improve his mental health/adhd/physical health. He chose not to.

OP, I would not leave without custody orders. When I filed, I stayed in the home until our divorce was final-I moved out the day I signed for and received my share of the equity (he bought me out). We started 50/50 that day. I wasn't leaving without my kid or my money. BTW-he, dc and I are all happier now!

[Anonymous]

OP: Your husband needs to see a medical doctor / psychiatrist who can assess his health & counseling needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: Your husband needs to see a medical doctor / psychiatrist who can assess his health & counseling needs.

He won't. He refuses. He doesn't think he has a problem. He absolutely will not seek mental health or medical help. If he would, I would consider staying with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you loved your DH and love DD, why not get him professional help to improve his mental health?

Is this "some type of anxiety or OCD" new? Is it highlighted because he isn't earning enough and you are?

I don't understand the relationship between these two things.

[Anonymous]

I will suggest having a conversation with Marjorie DiLima with Fait & DiLima. Her office is 301-251-0100. She will also work to resolve your divorce without getting stuck with high trial fees, if possible. Good luck

[Anonymous]

Yes you can move out without a custody agreement. This would be separation, not divorce.

The court always looks for the best interest of the child and that would be for her to be removed from him.

Try to get as much documentation as possible about you husbands conditions (doctors prescriptions, emails or texts about him staying bed all day, him admitting things he said to the daughter).

Slowly start downsizing your things and make them ready for moving.

Then 1 day when he's away, just get everything out.

[Anonymous]

My ex had mental health issues also and it's impossible to get help without their consent, unless you fear for your safety. Hopefully you don't but if you do and he makes a threat, you can get a restraining order.

Maybe you could just go stay with a family member nearby for an extended period of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes you can move out without a custody agreement. This would be separation, not divorce.

The court always looks for the best interest of the child and that would be for her to be removed from him.

Try to get as much documentation as possible about you husbands conditions (doctors prescriptions, emails or texts about him staying bed all day, him admitting things he said to the daughter).

Slowly start downsizing your things and make them ready for moving.

Then 1 day when he's away, just get everything out.

You clearly know nothing about this topic.

[Anonymous]

Get a different lawyer, OP. Definitely divorce. I was in your situation, and I stayed for the sake of our child, who later told me that they prayed on a daily basis that we would get divorced so there would be more peace in the house. You have to discuss this with a good lawyer and then discuss it with your husband. The two of you decide who stays in the house, and make it clear that you want to custody. Your lawyer should advise you on what kind of evidence to gather for economic reasons and custody reasons, but generally, you will get split custody.

[Anonymous]

Also, talk to your lawyer about whether you are going to be on the hook for spousal support and how to reduce any exposure you might have along those lines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine to move out without a custody agreement. Maybe the two of you together can come up with a temporary agreement, or enlist the help of a mediator.

That's what the lawyer said. It makes me feel so unprotected though. Like he could just keep her.

No - do not move out without a separation agreement! Priority on custody - very close second in assets.