123 Magic, list your straight-to-three behaviors AND weigh in on a dispute

[Anonymous]

Couch jumping is just not that dangerous and honestly a pretty normal kid behavior. We do tell our kids to stop if they do it and they do. If you think it’s that risky, then physically remove them when they do it.

[Anonymous]

I would agree with your husband that couch jumping isn’t that dangerous and would still count. Maybe it depends on what the rest of the room is like if it’s near a window or coffee table , I might think it was more dangerous. I remember going through a glass coffee table as a kid after jumping on it from the couch. I don’t condone it , but I think all of my kids have still jumped on the couch. I just remind them to stop and move on.

[Anonymous]

We have 1 couch where jumping is not allowed becasue there is a glass coffee table there and its an expensive couch. 3 other couches in the house (1 in their room, 2 in basement) that they can jump to their heart's content. And they generally dont. In big rooms with out too many things they can fall on (legos in their room which has taught them a good lesson of no legos on floor)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jumping on the couch is clearly dangerous. One of my kids went to the ER for stitches after horseplay in the LR and hitting his head on the corner of a table. A kid jumping on the couch could easily break an arm or worse by falling off the wrong way.

Due to that type of danger I was very harsh in ordering my kids to stop any risky behavior immediately, and if they didn't I physically stopped them and we had a no fun serious conversation about never doing that again and listening to an adult.

There was no 1 2 3 in a situation like that. I used ` 1 2 3 if I said time for bed and they didn't get up and go.

It is 1000x better for your kid to get knocked around with minor injuries (stitches and broken arm - 6 week fix) than to have a neurotic mother hovering over them and hounding them to death their entire childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely would not go right to three for couch jumping.

Our kids are 2.5 and 4. Our right-to-threes are:

1) Hitting or kicking a person
2) Not stopping when we say “stop” when we’re walking out on the sidewalk (they’re city kids, we walk everywhere, and we let 2.5 get about 1/4 block in front of us and the 4 year old get about a 1/2 block in front of us, so this is a SERIOUS infraction for us. Has only happened once each that I can remember).
3) One time, the older one looked me right in the eye and said “I hate you.” Chilled me to the bone. I went right to three and put him in a timeout. I don’t know if that was the right move, prob not according to the book. It was just my first instinct. He clearly had no idea what it even meant, we talked about it a lot after and he’s never said it since.

We’ve been doing 1-2-3 Magic since each kid was about 18 months old. I’d say we’ve gone right to 3 a single digit number of times, across both kids.

Thanks for your perspective. I’m having trouble understanding how jumping on the couch isn’t in everyone’s dangerous category. It literally doesn’t fit in my head. I’m worried he’ll get a concussion or break a leg. If I use the counting procedure, they can get a full 9 seconds of jumping in. Every time. Maybe I just grew up in an unusually well-behaved circle of children, but I’d literally never seen another child jump on furniture before mine did it. I’ve tried time-out, but I’ve always included the no-fun conversation in the past, which I’m thinking may be part of the problem.

So, while I understand that this isn’t quite running in the street, why isn’t this in your dangerous category?

I’m the PP. I mean, maybe I’m the wrong person to ask because my kids jump on the couch and we just let them (it’s an old crappy couch anyway). Honesty, the risk of couch jumping doesn’t seem that much higher than climbing on a playground. In fact, we have a piker triangle and I think that’s riskier than couch jumping. At least the couch is soft!

I think it makes sense in most cases not to allow couch jumping, for both behavior and potentially risk reasons, but 9 seconds of couch jumping is very unlikely to result in disaster.

How are your kids in terms of internal awareness of their bodies and physical safety? Are they just throwing themselves around? One thing we worked on from a young age was building this awareness and I think it’s really paid off. So if a 1.5 year old was climbing too high on the playground or jumping on the couch too close to the edge, instead of just immediately shutting it down, we would tell them to pause and just point and say things like “ooh, look down there. You’re pretty high off the ground” or “look at where your body is, you’re very close to the edge of the couch.” Most of the time, the kid would look, and then ask for help or start climbing down or back away. At 2.5 and 4 they self regulate really well on stuff like this. Maybe that kind of approach (in addition to counting for just straight up not following established rules) might help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jumping on the couch is clearly dangerous. One of my kids went to the ER for stitches after horseplay in the LR and hitting his head on the corner of a table. A kid jumping on the couch could easily break an arm or worse by falling off the wrong way.

Due to that type of danger I was very harsh in ordering my kids to stop any risky behavior immediately, and if they didn't I physically stopped them and we had a no fun serious conversation about never doing that again and listening to an adult.

There was no 1 2 3 in a situation like that. I used ` 1 2 3 if I said time for bed and they didn't get up and go.

Your kid does zero risky behavior? No riding bikes? No climbing trees? No running? The worst injury my kid had was from falling while walking.

Every kid is owed a few trips to the ER. If they haven't hurt themselves they haven't had a childhood.

[Anonymous]

They know the rule. The second you catch them jumping on the couch you tell them they are not allowed on the couch for the rest of the day. They can sit on the floor. Start fresh the next day. If they jump on the couch in a few days do another day off the couch. Anytime they jump on the couch the very next day they are off the couch for the rest of the week.

[Anonymous]

I go with the "will it kill you" and jumping on the couch doesn't cut it (so counting for that) but running into the street or parking lot would be an immediate 3

[Anonymous]

Our automatic 3's are:
1. Attempting to cross the street without us or without holding hands (city kid)
2. Hitting anyone
3. Throwing food (not just like rolling a blueberry across the table, but like "I don't like this dinner and throwing it or overturning it")

The first one because it's a "will it kill you." The last two because they are such brazen disrespect.

Things like jumping on the sofa, arguing about doing a task, or refusing to get dressed can wait 3-5 seconds to be dealt with.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for allowing to jump on the couch, it just seems fun and not dangerous. And do you know play the floor is lava in your house?! Lack of physical activity will do more damage than a hypothetical injury from couch jumping. Obviously move any glass tables out of the room for a year or two, we got rid of our coffee table after our 4 year old tripped and fell into it and knocked out a tooth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our automatic 3's are:
1. Attempting to cross the street without us or without holding hands (city kid)
2. Hitting anyone
3. Throwing food (not just like rolling a blueberry across the table, but like "I don't like this dinner and throwing it or overturning it")

The first one because it's a "will it kill you." The last two because they are such brazen disrespect.

Things like jumping on the sofa, arguing about doing a task, or refusing to get dressed can wait 3-5 seconds to be dealt with.

Agree with this. I will say around 6 the attempts to cross street without us stopped completely, if not earlier.

[Anonymous]

Are your kids moving and engaging in enough physical play? do they have the opportunity to do so, multiple times a day? Are they boys? i also just sat and colored in the corner as a child for most of my childhood, but I have a high energy boy and floor is lava with couch cushions is almost a daily occurrence.

[Anonymous]

Your kids are too old for that nonsense. Tell them to stop and immediate consequences

[Anonymous]

lol jumping on the couch and bed is a small joy in childhood.

Y’all are so boring.

Throwing things is straight to 3 unless it’s balls in the basement which is allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jumping on the couch is clearly dangerous. One of my kids went to the ER for stitches after horseplay in the LR and hitting his head on the corner of a table. A kid jumping on the couch could easily break an arm or worse by falling off the wrong way.

Due to that type of danger I was very harsh in ordering my kids to stop any risky behavior immediately, and if they didn't I physically stopped them and we had a no fun serious conversation about never doing that again and listening to an adult.

There was no 1 2 3 in a situation like that. I used ` 1 2 3 if I said time for bed and they didn't get up and go.

It is 1000x better for your kid to get knocked around with minor injuries (stitches and broken arm - 6 week fix) than to have a neurotic mother hovering over them and hounding them to death their entire childhood.

This! OP you have no tolerance for anything risky and it could hurt them more because they don't know the limits on their own bodies. My 8yo still hasn't injured himself enough for a trip to the ER and I've been wondering if he's taking enough risks. I certainly don't over protect him. But by this age I had been to the ER 3 or 4 times.