Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...

[Anonymous]

My mom is probably autistic but never diagnosed and it's incredibly hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is probably autistic but never diagnosed and it's incredibly hard.

You might have posted before? Each time you do, I appreciate it. I also believe my mom is probably autistic but undiagnosed. Not only is it so hard as you say, but even today with so much on autism, there is nearly zero out there on being the daughter of a mother with autism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom is probably autistic but never diagnosed and it's incredibly hard.

You might have posted before? Each time you do, I appreciate it. I also believe my mom is probably autistic but undiagnosed. Not only is it so hard as you say, but even today with so much on autism, there is nearly zero out there on being the daughter of a mother with autism.

Yes. Thanks for saying that. I felt like a jerk with my anger for so long. Understanding this had helped with my anger but still there is a loss of sorts.

[Anonymous]

Women are like crabs in a barrel. They always turn on each other in some way. Either outright, or behind each other's backs. It's why I avoid most women. Men tend to be more fair dealers emotionally. What you see is what you get -- how refreshing. I had a better relationship with my dad, he was so much easier than my mom to navigate. And I say this as a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could it be you're just noticing it because it's unusual or seems wrong? I have a great relationship with my mother, as do most people I know. I know many people, male and female, who do not speak to their fathers at all.

OP here. You nailed it. And also her cousins hate their mothers. It must be something unique about their family I guess. I am glad that my overgeneralization was wrong as so many women were quick to say they love their moms. Perhaps I love my mom so much that I find it strange not to have a good relationship with your mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could it be you're just noticing it because it's unusual or seems wrong? I have a great relationship with my mother, as do most people I know. I know many people, male and female, who do not speak to their fathers at all.

OP here. You nailed it. And also her cousins hate their mothers. It must be something unique about their family I guess. I am glad that my overgeneralization was wrong as so many women were quick to say they love their moms. Perhaps I love my mom so much that I find it strange not to have a good relationship with your mom.

I have 2 sisters and I feel like my mom favoured me. She loved us all equally but I got a way with a lot lol. And my sisters don't have the best relationship with our mom but nothing crazy

[Anonymous]

My husband had lots of issues with his mom but I had a good relationship with her. If you met my mom, you'd know why.

[Anonymous]

My mom has a personality disorder—is and always has been a nightmare. It’s actually really hard to bear the societal myth that all moms are loving and nurturing and that they are owed honor and respect for having given birth. Some are neglectful, manipulative and abusive—way beyond just “flawed,” which most of us are. I get tired of people who say things like, “oh, but she’s your mother, she raised you.” You carry the damage of an abusive parent your whole life, and if you were fortunate enough to have a half-decent mother, you wouldn’t understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom has a personality disorder—is and always has been a nightmare. It’s actually really hard to bear the societal myth that all moms are loving and nurturing and that they are owed honor and respect for having given birth. Some are neglectful, manipulative and abusive—way beyond just “flawed,” which most of us are. I get tired of people who say things like, “oh, but she’s your mother, she raised you.” You carry the damage of an abusive parent your whole life, and if you were fortunate enough to have a half-decent mother, you wouldn’t understand.

+1 Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women are like crabs in a barrel. They always turn on each other in some way. Either outright, or behind each other's backs. It's why I avoid most women. Men tend to be more fair dealers emotionally. What you see is what you get -- how refreshing. I had a better relationship with my dad, he was so much easier than my mom to navigate. And I say this as a woman.

You may want to explore some things there. When people on this board talk about internalized misogyny, just know, this is you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly a lot of mothers prioritize their male partners and male offspring over their female offspring- we all know them in our own lives. It is hard to be the daughter of a woman who has internalized misogyny and mixes messages of love with messages that you are inferior in her eyes.

+1M

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women are like crabs in a barrel. They always turn on each other in some way. Either outright, or behind each other's backs. It's why I avoid most women. Men tend to be more fair dealers emotionally. What you see is what you get -- how refreshing. I had a better relationship with my dad, he was so much easier than my mom to navigate. And I say this as a woman.

Lol listen I’m exactly the same but if we are both adults in 2024 I think we both need to remember that our mothers were likely doing 100% of the mental load at home as well as the vast majority of household stuff, making sure holidays actually happened, all of the health stuff, emotional stuff, literally doing all of the work keeping the family running and taking care of all the discipline. It’s a hell of a lot easier to like the parent that just goes to work and mows the lawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women are like crabs in a barrel. They always turn on each other in some way. Either outright, or behind each other's backs. It's why I avoid most women. Men tend to be more fair dealers emotionally. What you see is what you get -- how refreshing. I had a better relationship with my dad, he was so much easier than my mom to navigate. And I say this as a woman.

Your inappropriate stereotyping of women is likely rooted in your relationships with your parents not in any truth about all women. Because that was your reality you are much more likely to notice similar dynamics when you run into them as an adult and then think it must be a universal fact. It's not.

[Anonymous]

DW has a very close and loving relationship with her mother. But the issue is that they are codependent. DW literally cries because she feels like at times that her mom is disappointed in her.

You can have a close relationship with your parent but it’s still unhealthy in some respects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly a lot of mothers prioritize their male partners and male offspring over their female offspring- we all know them in our own lives. It is hard to be the daughter of a woman who has internalized misogyny and mixes messages of love with messages that you are inferior in her eyes.

I don’t know any families with this dynamic.

Could it be cultural?