Second Homes and Coworkers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh I am laughing so hard that someone is proud of having a condo in OC. He probably extols the culinary delights of Applebees as well!

I'd take the 100 year house over that any day and twice on Sundays.

Exactly, I mean come on being that proud of having a condo in OC MD, one of the worst beach towns ever, full of rednecks, awful restaurants, bad ocean water (dark/cold) and etc is funny af/ridiculous. But frankly to me it's all the rednecks, feels like the "garbage" of the US converges there over the summers.

Definitely tattoo haven.

Bro, do you even SaltLife?

[Anonymous]

My diagnosis is that OP feels like the place "down east" is a refined classy place (probably so, at least in comparison to OC), and is struggling with how to make clear to the redneck that he is a redneck loser without compromising that refined class that people are supposed to notice without being told. So hard to thread that needle of being a snob without being an a$$.

[Anonymous]

Everything about this scenario is hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's friendly (or unfriendly insecure) ribbing, but the solution is to stop talking about it so much.
"What are you doing this weekend?"
"Oh, just seeing family."
So easy.

I would never tell coworkers we had a second home.

That's... odd. You're going to spend your waking hours with people for years and years and years and not tell them what you do on the weekends? No offense, but are you on the spectrum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's friendly (or unfriendly insecure) ribbing, but the solution is to stop talking about it so much.
"What are you doing this weekend?"
"Oh, just seeing family."
So easy.

I would never tell coworkers we had a second home.

That's... odd. You're going to spend your waking hours with people for years and years and years and not tell them what you do on the weekends? No offense, but are you on the spectrum?

Not PP, but they’re right. People can have weird reactions like OP’s coworker.

You can easily say you’re going “down east” or to OC while leaving out the second house part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's friendly (or unfriendly insecure) ribbing, but the solution is to stop talking about it so much.
"What are you doing this weekend?"
"Oh, just seeing family."
So easy.

I would never tell coworkers we had a second home.

That's... odd. You're going to spend your waking hours with people for years and years and years and not tell them what you do on the weekends? No offense, but are you on the spectrum?

Not PP, but they’re right. People can have weird reactions like OP’s coworker.

You can easily say you’re going “down east” or to OC while leaving out the second house part.

Yeah, you can, but it's odd. I'm not hiding my life from people I sit next too all day long. I'm also not apologizing for any perceived 'privilege'.

[Anonymous]

I thought you were talking about Downeast Maine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both sound like spoiled douche-nozzles, d#ck-sizing your second homes.

But since I'm feeling saucy this would be my response:

"How often do you hear your condo neighbors puking and yelling? I don't think I could sleep through all that noise at night in OC. The acreage we have down on the water in NC has spoiled us!"

This. Just stop talking about your stupid house. What is wrong with you? And it’s down south not east when you are in the DMV, but you should already know that if you grew up in northern Virginia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My diagnosis is that OP feels like the place "down east" is a refined classy place (probably so, at least in comparison to OC), and is struggling with how to make clear to the redneck that he is a redneck loser without compromising that refined class that people are supposed to notice without being told. So hard to thread that needle of being a snob without being an a$$.

LOL 'Down East' is a redneck haven. It's friggin' rural NC!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My diagnosis is that OP feels like the place "down east" is a refined classy place (probably so, at least in comparison to OC), and is struggling with how to make clear to the redneck that he is a redneck loser without compromising that refined class that people are supposed to notice without being told. So hard to thread that needle of being a snob without being an a$$.

LOL 'Down East' is a redneck haven. It's friggin' rural NC!

+1

Neither are places I'd want to own a home. Or go, for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both sound like spoiled douche-nozzles, d#ck-sizing your second homes.

But since I'm feeling saucy this would be my response:

"How often do you hear your condo neighbors puking and yelling? I don't think I could sleep through all that noise at night in OC. The acreage we have down on the water in NC has spoiled us!"

This. Just stop talking about your stupid house. What is wrong with you? And it’s down south not east when you are in the DMV, but you should already know that if you grew up in northern Virginia.

You are an idiot.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_East_(North_Carolina)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's friendly (or unfriendly insecure) ribbing, but the solution is to stop talking about it so much.
"What are you doing this weekend?"
"Oh, just seeing family."
So easy.

I would never tell coworkers we had a second home.

That's... odd. You're going to spend your waking hours with people for years and years and years and not tell them what you do on the weekends? No offense, but are you on the spectrum?

I'm the PP you quoted. I absolutely have coworkers who would ask to use that house. And I have worked for people who would deprioritize my raise because I have a second house so I must be doing fine financially.

I talk about my kids, my dog, my garden, my parents' health issues, my camping trips. I do not talk about family property or family money or the fact I have a pool (again, visitors).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's friendly (or unfriendly insecure) ribbing, but the solution is to stop talking about it so much.
"What are you doing this weekend?"
"Oh, just seeing family."
So easy.

I would never tell coworkers we had a second home.

That's... odd. You're going to spend your waking hours with people for years and years and years and not tell them what you do on the weekends? No offense, but are you on the spectrum?

I'm the PP you quoted. I absolutely have coworkers who would ask to use that house. And I have worked for people who would deprioritize my raise because I have a second house so I must be doing fine financially.

I talk about my kids, my dog, my garden, my parents' health issues, my camping trips. I do not talk about family property or family money or the fact I have a pool (again, visitors).

Well, then you just need to learn to set boundaries and use the word 'no.'

Sorry, Sally, the house is for family use only. As you know, I have 3 siblings, 11 nieces and nephews, and countless cousins. There isn't any room to open it to non family. And if they ask again that is on them.

And I gotta say, at 52, and working in an office for 31 years at differnt places I have never once herad a colleague ask another colleague to use their beach house. Maybe it is just you.

[Anonymous]

Say nothing. If you say anything, you become just as classless a dolt as your coworker.

You can take any of the PPs polite phrases or say "Well, we happen to love the house and the area. Thanks." Do not stoop to his level.

[Anonymous]

I never mention our second home (a condo in NYC) or where we're going on vacation at work. I also never talk about vacations until after we're back from them for safety purposes.

What are you doing for the long weekend? Oh, taking it easy - nothing special. You?

Unless we're friends, you don't get to know details of my private life, and even then only some friends and only some details. I define friends as we've been to each others' homes socially.