Friend canceled colonoscopy morning of out of fear of what would be found

[Anonymous]

She needs anti anxiety meds.

My mother had colon cancer and even I cancelled my 1st colonoscopy in my 30s. I was going through IVF and the anxiety was beyond insane. Anxiety and fear drive us to make stupid decisions.

[Anonymous]

Don't know if this will help or not but here goes. I am in my early 50's. I had a Twitter mutual for years. We never met in person but had a lot of the same interests and got to a point where we messaged and knew a little about each other. He was my age with a daughter almost the same age as mine (17).

He started dropping hints in his posts that he wasn't well and finally came out with the fact that he was dying of colon cancer. I remember one thing he said to a poster who said they were too afraid of what might be found, were scared of the prep: "If you have cancer that will be the only thing on your mind for the rest of your life."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't know if this will help or not but here goes. I am in my early 50's. I had a Twitter mutual for years. We never met in person but had a lot of the same interests and got to a point where we messaged and knew a little about each other. He was my age with a daughter almost the same age as mine (17).

He started dropping hints in his posts that he wasn't well and finally came out with the fact that he was dying of colon cancer. I remember one thing he said to a poster who said they were too afraid of what might be found, were scared of the prep: "If you have cancer that will be the only thing on your mind for the rest of your life."

um

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She DID THE PREP and then cancelled?

Your friend is really insuperably silly.

+1. I hope they charge her for the cancellation. This is ridiculous beyond belief.

The thing is: Anxiety isn't logical.

So what? She took someone else’s spot. There should be consequences for this level of selfishness

Uh...oh my.

Do you know anything about how the health care system works?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She DID THE PREP and then cancelled?

Your friend is really insuperably silly.

+1. I hope they charge her for the cancellation. This is ridiculous beyond belief.

NP. What’s ridiculous is your lack of empathy. Health anxiety can be very debilitating.

[Anonymous]

Well...it will be easy for her to reschedule the procedure again if she gets a hold of her anxiety. It's not like she's missing out on a lung being donated to her. You can't force her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She DID THE PREP and then cancelled?

Your friend is really insuperably silly.

+1. I hope they charge her for the cancellation. This is ridiculous beyond belief.

NP. What’s ridiculous is your lack of empathy. Health anxiety can be very debilitating.

And not treating health conditions, including anxiety, has consequences.

[Anonymous]

Oh man, do I remember the dread of walking into my appointment. It was even worse than the prep and someways. I mean it some level people just have to decide to be grown ups right? Of course I believe that how anxiety is real, but we all have to learn how to confront that stuff and take care of ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anything I can say to reassure her? I understand health anxiety and have suffered from it. She's been dreading the colonoscopy, finally made the appointment, I was all set to bring her...and she texted saying she was too scared of the results to do it.
She is not having any symptoms; she is going because she's 45.
Any reassuring stats or links I can share with her? My understanding is cancer is rarely found if you are asymptomatic. But the headlines of "rising cancer" have paralyzed her. Thanks!

Completely understand. I kept delaying my recent colonoscopy for the same reason (although I gave advanced notice) and almost did not reschedule. My fear stemmed from a colonoscopy in 2017 (when I was 46) where polyps were found. I finally went through with the second one and came through with flying colors. I have to admit anxiety over the results is a real thing, however, when you get a "clear" report it is worth it for the peace of mind.

[Anonymous]

I am your friend.
I've been to so many doctors for anxiety and they just keep throwing SSRIs at me. Doesn't work, never has worked, and they just want to keep upping doses and trying new ones. I've resigned myself to being a nervous wreck and health is my number one trigger. I didn't even want to click this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She DID THE PREP and then cancelled?

Your friend is really insuperably silly.

+1. I hope they charge her for the cancellation. This is ridiculous beyond belief.

NP. What’s ridiculous is your lack of empathy. Health anxiety can be very debilitating.

And not treating health conditions, including anxiety, has consequences.

PP. She may be treating it for all you know. Life is messy and recovering from mental health conditions, including anxiety, takes time.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if it is too much to ask of you, OP, but if/when she re-schedules, maybe you or another friend can agree to be with her the night and morning before the procedure…and don’t let her cancel? Stats might help some, but as others have said, anxiety isn’t logical. Maybe prayer, breath exercises, meditation might help?

I was dreading it, especially the morning of, due to a combo of family history, (minor) possible symptoms, and a dose of health anxiety. Might not be the best approach but, for me, it sort of helped me to think that “when” (and not if) they find something, it’s better now than later…and of course I woke up and they had found nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She DID THE PREP and then cancelled?

Your friend is really insuperably silly.

+1. I hope they charge her for the cancellation. This is ridiculous beyond belief.

The thing is: Anxiety isn't logical.

So what? She took someone else’s spot. There should be consequences for this level of selfishness

Well she was pretty much crapping all night so there's that.

Seriously. That’s some heavy-duty anxiety to cancel AFTER going through the hell of prep.

+1

Way stupid cause she’s gonna have to do the prep again. The prep is pretty awful. I did have the same anxiety but the fear of not doing it is worse. If they find something in stage 1, it’s ok. Wait till stage 4, you are a goner.

[Anonymous]

She’s an adult, what can you really say or do. It’s been canceled. She’s not rational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s an adult, what can you really say or do. It’s been canceled. She’s not rational.

+1. I'm a little surprised by all the people encouraging you to say something, give stats and reassurance. It's her decision to make.