ADD signs in girls

[Anonymous]

So all the ADHD folks here - how is your executive functioning? Can you organize and prioritize without help? How is your working memory - are you easily overwhelmed and if so does it impact your ability to balance more tasks?

Because my 11 kid sounds like OP kid but she can organize the shit out of her school work. My ADHD diagnosed kid cannot.

There's 2 types of ADHD including hyperactive and attention deficit. But typically having ADHD includes a 60% of some other type of disability whether OCD, dyslexia, anxiety, etc.

I run into a lot of adults saying they have undiagnosed ADHD. My kid who has it, OMG there's no way he could function being undiagnosed - he's never make it. So I'm curious what other traits besides hard to focus is the trigger people suggest means ADHD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds so so much like my 8 year old DD with ADHD! Especially the singing and interrupting. I think if you are wondering enough to post on DCUM you should just get her evaluated. Ask your pediatrician for names but get a real evaluation- pediatricians tend to not recognize ADHD in girls who are doing ok academically. We had that experience and my DD is a textbook, severe case.

Me again- one thing that tripped me up until I learned more about ADHD is that my DD is capable of really remarkable attention/focus/work when she is interested in something. She will sit and read a good book for hours. But apparently that’s common- it’s actually called hyperfocus and when kids enjoy school or parts of school they are able to focus really well on those. Or other activities! If you saw my DD watching the instruction at her studio you would not believe she has ADHD because she’s laser focused. Anyway I just throw that out there because it was confusing for me for a while

I do not have ADHD and I laser focus. To the point where I won't hear you talk. I don't have ADHD for sure.

I'm also a perfectionist and can be very rigid in my approaches.

I am a huge procrastinator! Y kids would prob say I can't really focus until I have to I can however prioritize and organize and multi task like a machine. I just choose my moments. I never did well in school as I was bored and I run my own business now. I'm 100% sure I do not have ADHD but my son does.

Sometimes a kid is just a kid. It's really hard to know for sure. Get it checked out but know that ADHD often entails more than inability to focus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds so so much like my 8 year old DD with ADHD! Especially the singing and interrupting. I think if you are wondering enough to post on DCUM you should just get her evaluated. Ask your pediatrician for names but get a real evaluation- pediatricians tend to not recognize ADHD in girls who are doing ok academically. We had that experience and my DD is a textbook, severe case.

Me again- one thing that tripped me up until I learned more about ADHD is that my DD is capable of really remarkable attention/focus/work when she is interested in something. She will sit and read a good book for hours. But apparently that’s common- it’s actually called hyperfocus and when kids enjoy school or parts of school they are able to focus really well on those. Or other activities! If you saw my DD watching the instruction at her studio you would not believe she has ADHD because she’s laser focused. Anyway I just throw that out there because it was confusing for me for a while

The ability to hyperfocus is amazing and a real trait of ADHD. My daughter can read a book for hours. She can build civilizations out of Legos and craft supplies in her room for hours. But tell her to do two different things and remember them both? No way. Tell her to finish a task that is multiple steps? No way - it will always get halfway done. I have no idea how she does so well in school. I'm not sure that she always will.

Isn't it just human nature to be able to focus more on things that are interesting to us? It's not some great feat of "focus" to read a book for hours. It boggles my mind that everyone wants to pathologize normal human traits these days. Amphetamines for all!

I have hyper focus and it’s not exactly like that. I have no sense of time. I literally have no idea what time it is. I will lose myself in a task. It’s different than focusing on something that I’m interested in. I have never understood how people can multitask. I cannot. I struggle with being on time and have to set alarms to remind myself. Even then, I will lose track of time while getting ready to go or whatever it is I set my alarm for.

I always thought it was a quirk. It can be very useful because I will do whatever it is I set out to do well. But it comes at a cost.

As a child, I was a perfectionist who was always late. My grades were excellent, but often at the expense of fun activities.

+1 - from a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult - hyper focus was amazing when I was handling a critical, complex problem at work. But if don’t get into that ‘zone’ - it’s impossible to finish anything.

My 9DD was recently diagnosed with ADHD - different specifics - she will spend hours constructing something out of cardboard, duct tape, and Ali foil, but can’t get through some fairly easy tasks without getting distracted. She’s also HIGHLY sensitive to criticism and will go into doomsday mode if she makes a mistake.

Her grades are good and she’s not disruptive in school, so I’m skeptical there will be much intervention at school now — but it’s helpful for us as parents to know some of this is just the way her brain works.

No meds for her now.

OP here. This is my DD through and through. If she's not perfect at something at the start, she tends to give up immediately, especially if she's not interested (ie: math). She can handle criticism better (from some people) if it's something she's really into. She dances and handles criticism and critiques amazingly well. But if she and I have to practice at home ... all bets are off. She will make a mistake and then literally lay on the floor and melt down for 20 minutes. Then spirals about how she's the worst dancer and should quit dance. I've told this to her teachers and they are shocked by it. Her grades are starting to suffer in math simply because she shuts down because she's not good at it. So thankful most everything else in school comes easily for her. Whenever we have to practice dance at home or do homework together, I'm anxious leading up to it because I never know how it will go. I am very careful about what I saw for fear it will be construed as criticism and then the wheels fall off.

I used to think she "just" had anxiety, but then reading more and watching how her mind seems to work, made me wonder about ADD. I just know something is off.

[Anonymous]

I do not have ADHD and I laser focus. To the point where I won't hear you talk. I don't have ADHD for sure.

I'm also a perfectionist and can be very rigid in my approaches.

I am a huge procrastinator! Y kids would prob say I can't really focus until I have to I can however prioritize and organize and multi task like a machine. I just choose my moments. I never did well in school as I was bored and I run my own business now. I'm 100% sure I do not have ADHD but my son does.

Sometimes a kid is just a kid. It's really hard to know for sure. Get it checked out but know that ADHD often entails more than inability to focus.

NP. Your son has ADHD but you are 100% sure that you don’t have it despite having all the symptoms above? Okay. How long did it take to accept your son’s diagnosis because “I do that too and it’s completely normal”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds so so much like my 8 year old DD with ADHD! Especially the singing and interrupting. I think if you are wondering enough to post on DCUM you should just get her evaluated. Ask your pediatrician for names but get a real evaluation- pediatricians tend to not recognize ADHD in girls who are doing ok academically. We had that experience and my DD is a textbook, severe case.

Me again- one thing that tripped me up until I learned more about ADHD is that my DD is capable of really remarkable attention/focus/work when she is interested in something. She will sit and read a good book for hours. But apparently that’s common- it’s actually called hyperfocus and when kids enjoy school or parts of school they are able to focus really well on those. Or other activities! If you saw my DD watching the instruction at her studio you would not believe she has ADHD because she’s laser focused. Anyway I just throw that out there because it was confusing for me for a while

The ability to hyperfocus is amazing and a real trait of ADHD. My daughter can read a book for hours. She can build civilizations out of Legos and craft supplies in her room for hours. But tell her to do two different things and remember them both? No way. Tell her to finish a task that is multiple steps? No way - it will always get halfway done. I have no idea how she does so well in school. I'm not sure that she always will.

Isn't it just human nature to be able to focus more on things that are interesting to us? It's not some great feat of "focus" to read a book for hours. It boggles my mind that everyone wants to pathologize normal human traits these days. Amphetamines for all!

I have hyper focus and it’s not exactly like that. I have no sense of time. I literally have no idea what time it is. I will lose myself in a task. It’s different than focusing on something that I’m interested in. I have never understood how people can multitask. I cannot. I struggle with being on time and have to set alarms to remind myself. Even then, I will lose track of time while getting ready to go or whatever it is I set my alarm for.

I always thought it was a quirk. It can be very useful because I will do whatever it is I set out to do well. But it comes at a cost.

As a child, I was a perfectionist who was always late. My grades were excellent, but often at the expense of fun activities.

+1 - from a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult - hyper focus was amazing when I was handling a critical, complex problem at work. But if don’t get into that ‘zone’ - it’s impossible to finish anything.

My 9DD was recently diagnosed with ADHD - different specifics - she will spend hours constructing something out of cardboard, duct tape, and Ali foil, but can’t get through some fairly easy tasks without getting distracted. She’s also HIGHLY sensitive to criticism and will go into doomsday mode if she makes a mistake.

Her grades are good and she’s not disruptive in school, so I’m skeptical there will be much intervention at school now — but it’s helpful for us as parents to know some of this is just the way her brain works.

No meds for her now.

OP here. This is my DD through and through. If she's not perfect at something at the start, she tends to give up immediately, especially if she's not interested (ie: math). She can handle criticism better (from some people) if it's something she's really into. She dances and handles criticism and critiques amazingly well. But if she and I have to practice at home ... all bets are off. She will make a mistake and then literally lay on the floor and melt down for 20 minutes. Then spirals about how she's the worst dancer and should quit dance. I've told this to her teachers and they are shocked by it. Her grades are starting to suffer in math simply because she shuts down because she's not good at it. So thankful most everything else in school comes easily for her. Whenever we have to practice dance at home or do homework together, I'm anxious leading up to it because I never know how it will go. I am very careful about what I saw for fear it will be construed as criticism and then the wheels fall off.

I used to think she "just" had anxiety, but then reading more and watching how her mind seems to work, made me wonder about ADD. I just know something is off.

Anxiety and ADHD often go together with estimates of up to 50 percent comorbidity.

[Anonymous]

Here were my very obvious symptoms as an elementary school girl

- Backpack always an absolute disaster
- Would get caught reading books instead of paying attention to lessons. In general, could not get my face out of a book and was a somewhat advanced reader I think--reading a Babysitter's Club book in an hour or so at age 6 etc
- Always playing "beauty salon" and braiding other girls' hair or braiding my own hair while listening to lessons
- Constant doodling. Doodles on every single page of my nootebook or worksheet or even desk
- Anxiety that manifested as EXTREME shyness that made it physically painful to experience new/unfamiliar situations like camp, sports, activities. Once comfortable though, I wouldn't shut up and frequently got in trouble for chatting and distracting others

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Also, are there any supplements that anyone recommends?

Look for the ADHD Parent Nutrition group on FB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds so so much like my 8 year old DD with ADHD! Especially the singing and interrupting. I think if you are wondering enough to post on DCUM you should just get her evaluated. Ask your pediatrician for names but get a real evaluation- pediatricians tend to not recognize ADHD in girls who are doing ok academically. We had that experience and my DD is a textbook, severe case.

Me again- one thing that tripped me up until I learned more about ADHD is that my DD is capable of really remarkable attention/focus/work when she is interested in something. She will sit and read a good book for hours. But apparently that’s common- it’s actually called hyperfocus and when kids enjoy school or parts of school they are able to focus really well on those. Or other activities! If you saw my DD watching the instruction at her studio you would not believe she has ADHD because she’s laser focused. Anyway I just throw that out there because it was confusing for me for a while

The ability to hyperfocus is amazing and a real trait of ADHD. My daughter can read a book for hours. She can build civilizations out of Legos and craft supplies in her room for hours. But tell her to do two different things and remember them both? No way. Tell her to finish a task that is multiple steps? No way - it will always get halfway done. I have no idea how she does so well in school. I'm not sure that she always will.

Isn't it just human nature to be able to focus more on things that are interesting to us? It's not some great feat of "focus" to read a book for hours. It boggles my mind that everyone wants to pathologize normal human traits these days. Amphetamines for all!

I have hyper focus and it’s not exactly like that. I have no sense of time. I literally have no idea what time it is. I will lose myself in a task. It’s different than focusing on something that I’m interested in. I have never understood how people can multitask. I cannot. I struggle with being on time and have to set alarms to remind myself. Even then, I will lose track of time while getting ready to go or whatever it is I set my alarm for.

I always thought it was a quirk. It can be very useful because I will do whatever it is I set out to do well. But it comes at a cost.

As a child, I was a perfectionist who was always late. My grades were excellent, but often at the expense of fun activities.

+1 - from a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult - hyper focus was amazing when I was handling a critical, complex problem at work. But if don’t get into that ‘zone’ - it’s impossible to finish anything.

My 9DD was recently diagnosed with ADHD - different specifics - she will spend hours constructing something out of cardboard, duct tape, and Ali foil, but can’t get through some fairly easy tasks without getting distracted. She’s also HIGHLY sensitive to criticism and will go into doomsday mode if she makes a mistake.

Her grades are good and she’s not disruptive in school, so I’m skeptical there will be much intervention at school now — but it’s helpful for us as parents to know some of this is just the way her brain works.

No meds for her now.

OP here. This is my DD through and through. If she's not perfect at something at the start, she tends to give up immediately, especially if she's not interested (ie: math). She can handle criticism better (from some people) if it's something she's really into. She dances and handles criticism and critiques amazingly well. But if she and I have to practice at home ... all bets are off. She will make a mistake and then literally lay on the floor and melt down for 20 minutes. Then spirals about how she's the worst dancer and should quit dance. I've told this to her teachers and they are shocked by it. Her grades are starting to suffer in math simply because she shuts down because she's not good at it. So thankful most everything else in school comes easily for her. Whenever we have to practice dance at home or do homework together, I'm anxious leading up to it because I never know how it will go. I am very careful about what I saw for fear it will be construed as criticism and then the wheels fall off.

I used to think she "just" had anxiety, but then reading more and watching how her mind seems to work, made me wonder about ADD. I just know something is off.

That sounds like textbook rejection sensitive dysphoria, a pretty classic symptom of the emotional dysregulation associated with ADHD.

https://chadd.org/adhd-weekly/rejection-can-more-painful-with-adhd/

[Anonymous]

I have two ADHD kids 1 - is ADHD/dyslexia/dysgraphia, 2, is just ADHD. In between their diagnoses, I was diagnosed with ADD at age 45. In hindsight, it was obvious but I was clueless until we got kid 1's diagnosis and I read up on the strong genetic correlation.

I've been a super reader all of my life and could hyper focus on books like nothing else existed. Struggled with math and other subjects, constant disagreements with parents about my disaster of a room, grades clearly not matching my intellect, strong tendency to get overwhelmed by multi-step processes (not knowing how to break the project down to get started).

ADHD/ADD kids are typically very bright, but often emotionally delayed/behind. My kids tend to get stuck on something and have a hard time moving forward, ie a meltdown about something seemingly minor but they're so wound up that it lasts way longer than you'd expect.

My kids both have IEPs and are both medicated - waited almost a year to medicate both but it was necessary for them. Medication is a hot topic, but it came down to 1 - kid 1 had a robust IEP and a private dyslexia tutor and couldn't make progress, 2 - kid 2 was in k and had a robust IEP but his ability to manage impulses and regulate emotions was non-existent. Meds let kid 1's brain absorb and retain the information and they are now almost grade level on reading and teachers are happy with focus and impulse control. Meds let kid 2's brain decide how he wants to respond to something rather than automatically react - he's young enough that he hadn't lost any friends over behavior but would have eventually if it wasn't adjusted.

I went on adderall immediately after my diagnosis and saw a huge improvement in my productivity at work. I also have so much more patience and ability to work with my kids when they're melting down now, than I did prior to medication.

That's a lengthy answer but I wish I'd known all of this at the start of our journey 2 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds so so much like my 8 year old DD with ADHD! Especially the singing and interrupting. I think if you are wondering enough to post on DCUM you should just get her evaluated. Ask your pediatrician for names but get a real evaluation- pediatricians tend to not recognize ADHD in girls who are doing ok academically. We had that experience and my DD is a textbook, severe case.

Me again- one thing that tripped me up until I learned more about ADHD is that my DD is capable of really remarkable attention/focus/work when she is interested in something. She will sit and read a good book for hours. But apparently that’s common- it’s actually called hyperfocus and when kids enjoy school or parts of school they are able to focus really well on those. Or other activities! If you saw my DD watching the instruction at her studio you would not believe she has ADHD because she’s laser focused. Anyway I just throw that out there because it was confusing for me for a while

Op here… this sounds just like her. If she’s into it, she’s all in. If she’s not, it nearly impossible to get her to focus.

Who diagnosed your daughter? Was the solution meds? If so, which one?

Hi OP - I am the PP you are replying to and I didn’t mean to start a whole discussion on what exactly is or isn’t hyperfocus. I was just explaining something that I previously didn’t understand and delayed me in getting my child diagnosed a little bit. My kid definitely has ADHD and was diagnosed at KKI by a developmental pediatrician at an early age. She had a full work up in part because of some other things going on with her and her profound giftedness. At your DD age a developmental pediatrician might not be right and you might not need a full neuropsych. Ask your pediatrician where they recommend you start for an evaluation.

My DD can’t handle stimulants and is only on non-stimulant medication but it does help (although I think she could benefit from stimulants if she could manage them, but it is ok). Also she has some accommodations through a 504 that are relatively easy to implement but make a big difference to her (especially extra movement breaks). Also just tons and tons of exercise. It makes a big difference. I am committed to helping her learn how to function in the world independently but understanding her has helped me have a better approach; we try to work on one thing at a time and I try to involve her in setting up systems that work for her. Also she sees a therapist for comorbid anxiety and that helps. We talk a ton about being flexible and that is really improving as she gets older. The Unstuck and On Target curriculum was developed for ASD but the principles related to rigidity really apply my kid so I have read that and work on using that kind of thinking with her.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds so so much like my 8 year old DD with ADHD! Especially the singing and interrupting. I think if you are wondering enough to post on DCUM you should just get her evaluated. Ask your pediatrician for names but get a real evaluation- pediatricians tend to not recognize ADHD in girls who are doing ok academically. We had that experience and my DD is a textbook, severe case.

Me again- one thing that tripped me up until I learned more about ADHD is that my DD is capable of really remarkable attention/focus/work when she is interested in something. She will sit and read a good book for hours. But apparently that’s common- it’s actually called hyperfocus and when kids enjoy school or parts of school they are able to focus really well on those. Or other activities! If you saw my DD watching the instruction at her studio you would not believe she has ADHD because she’s laser focused. Anyway I just throw that out there because it was confusing for me for a while

Op here… this sounds just like her. If she’s into it, she’s all in. If she’s not, it nearly impossible to get her to focus.

Who diagnosed your daughter? Was the solution meds? If so, which one?

Hi OP - I am the PP you are replying to and I didn’t mean to start a whole discussion on what exactly is or isn’t hyperfocus. I was just explaining something that I previously didn’t understand and delayed me in getting my child diagnosed a little bit. My kid definitely has ADHD and was diagnosed at KKI by a developmental pediatrician at an early age. She had a full work up in part because of some other things going on with her and her profound giftedness. At your DD age a developmental pediatrician might not be right and you might not need a full neuropsych. Ask your pediatrician where they recommend you start for an evaluation.

My DD can’t handle stimulants and is only on non-stimulant medication but it does help (although I think she could benefit from stimulants if she could manage them, but it is ok). Also she has some accommodations through a 504 that are relatively easy to implement but make a big difference to her (especially extra movement breaks). Also just tons and tons of exercise. It makes a big difference. I am committed to helping her learn how to function in the world independently but understanding her has helped me have a better approach; we try to work on one thing at a time and I try to involve her in setting up systems that work for her. Also she sees a therapist for comorbid anxiety and that helps. We talk a ton about being flexible and that is really improving as she gets older. The Unstuck and On Target curriculum was developed for ASD but the principles related to rigidity really apply my kid so I have read that and work on using that kind of thinking with her.

Good luck!

OP here. It's interesting you mention this too, because I've always joked about how much exercise DD requires. She dances a crazy amount each week (by her choice!) and is very rarely tired from it. We had a 10 hour long dance convention (with only 1 hour break for lunch) and she was absolutely not fazed. Wanted more when it was done, actually. But then on the flip side, she can veg for hours in front of the TV just like everyone else. For the most part though, she seems to thrive being busy and active. Some parents judge us for how busy she is, but it really does seem to work the best for her.

[Anonymous]

“Rejection-sensitive dysphoria,” 100%.

[Anonymous]

Sounds a lot like my DD who was diagnosed in 10th grade with inattentive ADHD. She managed fine in school for a long time and the social stuff was not too obvious because she had two excellent BFFs from 2nd grade on but the academics fell apart in high school when the demands finally overwhelmed her ability to cope. Medication, therapy, and accommodations helped and she's now at a small college with good support.

Her hyperfocus is art. She'll spend hours drawing or painting while homework sits undone. Or any homework assignment with a slight creative aspect will get turned into an elaborate art project.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m wondering if DD8 has ADD … things I’ve noticed with her are she’s a perfectionist, yet easily distracted. Also, she says she can’t focus on her math, but sings the entire time and distracts herself. She seems to have sensory issues as well, particularly around clothing. Has to do things in a certain order. Forgets to do basic tasks that she does every day like brush your teeth put on deodorant, etc.

She gets her feelings hurt easily and really doesn’t take criticism well.

Socially, she makes lots of friends and is well liked, but when I see her with her friends, she’s prone to interrupting and rambling story telling.

Thoughts?

Yes, sounds like it to me!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like me exactly too. Another with adhd. Let’s fidgety and I was a chewer too. Biting things help me concentrate and my clothes, winter coats, water bottles and pens were often chewed on. But yet, for certain things, I really could focus on Eg painting on hours on end or working in a science lab recording stuff for hours. But yet, other things like doing chores often left half done. I would have a pot that is left half washed and I washed it twice but never completing it.