I have a 15 yr old DD. I let her start wearing midriff shirts around 12 or 13 but not too short. It was still a battle because I didn't want her wearing anything that short but apparently the other girls were wearing really revealing shirts.
I also did not like her wearing short shorts at such a young age, or revealing bikinis. For the shorts, I told her that sitting on some surfaces with really short shorts would be uncomfortable, and sometimes, painful, and you never know what was on that seat/bench before you sat down. That gross thing could be touching your skin. These were things I learned the hard way myself. As to the midriff, I explained to dd that when she raises her arm way above her head while playing the shirt would expose more than she realizes. This is especially true for a young child who still has recess and may be playing some sport or other physical activity. We would do the arm raise test, and if it revealed too much, the answer was no. She would try to not raise her shoulders when doing this arm raise test such that the act of raising her arm looked unnatural. She was clearly trying to not show much of her midriff when raising her arms. She would try to downplay the need to raise her arms, but I wasn't having it. Don't care if she never raises her arms. That was my litmus test. It also doesn't help that retailers sell these shirts to young children. You as the parent are swimming up stream against the "trend" . I hate it. |
You are the one objectifying and sexualizing a 7 year old. Get help. |
I told my daughter that I'm not comfortable with her showing her stomach at school. Didn't give a reason. I don't see a way to give a reason without introducing concepts we're not ready to discuss. Teenagers might be doing it, but she's not a teenager and those teens are not my kids.
Take her shopping, explore other silhouettes, and help her find other ways to express her style. One solution we reached on the crop top issue specifically was to buy cropped items that could be layered without looking weird. I.e. a cropped sweater with a tucked-in cami underneath. Or a cropped boxy tee over a tank. She's reacting to the fashion she sees, but there's so much more out there, so just help her see other options. |
The oversexualization and policing of girls bodies so gross.
I let my 9yo wear what she wants. Including crop tops. |
I would buy a crop sweatshirt that she can wear over a tank top. Try not to make a big deal about things that aren’t. |
I would focus on it not being comfortable or practical for playing. Tell her those outfits aren't for active children and show her what happens of she tries to use the monkey bars. |
NP. +1 |
It's neither over sexualizing nor policing to teach your children to be clothed. It's self-respect. And I wish more girls had some. As a society, we function in clothing. You may not like it, but it is what it is. |
Do you talk about appropriate and inappropriate behavior? Or appropriate and inappropriate clothing? Just tell her that's not appropriate. Or tell her it's only appropriate if you're at the beach. I am shocked/appalled when I see girls in elementary school dress like they're going to a frat party looking to get laid. |
My 3rd grade DD is in a uniform at school. She has a lot of choices but chooses a young-for-her-age jumper and Peter Pan collar blouse. I let her wear whatever during the rest of her time, and a lot of that is short cutoffs, boxy crop tops, and small tank tops.
I don’t have to deal with the crop top at school issue, but it would be a hard no from me only because I see school as a kid’s work and a time to be professional. She also knows that I enforce a dress code for church, nice meals out, and family visits. Giving her leeway to wear whatever the rest of the time gives me the ability to enforce rules when I need to. I also had a mom who made me wear clothes that were opposite whatever current trends were. She was probably mentally ill but I remember all too well the humiliation of wearing knee-length bermudas during the short-short craze or Ann Taylor casual separates as an 8th grader. Crop tops won’t be a trend forever and are fine for after school. |
That would break my heart and get what’s next of me |
We talk a lot about appropriate clothing for settings and activities. My 7 year old has sports 'bras'/cropped sport tops for dance, but knows that they're not options for other occasions. We do basic movement checks when trying on regular clothes (jeans, shorts, shirts) to make sure everything stays in place, doesn't cause wedgies, etc. I don't really care about cropped boxy shirts for girls - not my thing, but not offensive, and seem to be 90% of what's available - but in our house, we have a rule that truly midriff-bearing items (as well as off-the-shoulder/cold-shoulder tops and tops/dresses with cutouts) are for teenagers and adults. |
The new trend is low rise Jeans with boxer shorts showing. Kind of a 2000 trend coming back. It’s going to be tough when a crop top is matched with low rise Jeans or leggings. |
Yes that’s fine. Why wouldn’t it be?
Some of you give this stuff way too much power over you |
We've had young women apply for front office administrative assistant jobs in Daisy Dukes and low cut tops. We did not hire those applicants.
I would say yes to a crop top on an ocean front beach setting. I'd say no to everywhere else. You are not doing your daughters any favors by having them dress like "professional women" who work on Only Fans or on the streets. There is appropriate dress for different settings. |