Part 2- If your adult kids DON'T have kids..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like most parents completely ignore their kids (after age 22) until they get grandkids. Then they attack them and want nonstop time with them.

I am 50, no kids (by choice), and talk to my mom on the phone every day. We live quite a distance away so we can't see each other every week. My spouse and I go on vacation with them for a week most summers, and I usually fly back to see them another 3 or so times a year. They used to come visit us once a year for a week - last year they decided to rent a condo in our city for a month, and they are planning to do it again next year. We spend Christmas with my in laws, and sometimes my parents will join us there for a couple of days as well.

I don't know how common it is for parents and adult kids with no children to want to see each other and talk to each other that much, but I can say I really treasure the time I get with my folks. This relationship is hard-won - I was a very difficult kid, and my parents weren't so easy back in those days either.

My sister has two kids, lives an hour from my parents, probably sees them 2-3 times a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like most parents completely ignore their kids (after age 22) until they get grandkids. Then they attack them and want nonstop time with them.

I can't believe that most parents are like this. My parents certainly weren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like most parents completely ignore their kids (after age 22) until they get grandkids. Then they attack them and want nonstop time with them.

I can't believe that most parents are like this. My parents certainly weren't.

+1. It is surprisingly common for people to assume that their own experience is the default experience of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like most parents completely ignore their kids (after age 22) until they get grandkids. Then they attack them and want nonstop time with them.

Maybe in your dysfunctional world but not everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Childless by infertility, and I called my parents weekly. My dh and I also saw them much more than my siblings with children, much to my parent's disappointment. Siblings with kids were all "too busy" to do much with the grandparents, who weren't as mobile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like most parents completely ignore their kids (after age 22) until they get grandkids. Then they attack them and want nonstop time with them.

I am 50, no kids (by choice), and talk to my mom on the phone every day. We live quite a distance away so we can't see each other every week. My spouse and I go on vacation with them for a week most summers, and I usually fly back to see them another 3 or so times a year. They used to come visit us once a year for a week - last year they decided to rent a condo in our city for a month, and they are planning to do it again next year. We spend Christmas with my in laws, and sometimes my parents will join us there for a couple of days as well.

I don't know how common it is for parents and adult kids with no children to want to see each other and talk to each other that much, but I can say I really treasure the time I get with my folks. This relationship is hard-won - I was a very difficult kid, and my parents weren't so easy back in those days either.

My sister has two kids, lives an hour from my parents, probably sees them 2-3 times a month.

This gives me hope.