how did your son/daughter's SO win you over?

[Anonymous]

It's sad reading some of these replies. Doesn't look like it takes much to win over you people

As parents, we shouldn't need to be "won over". We respect our DS & DD

[Anonymous]

Raise your kids well so they are decent, moral, kind, honest, open-minded, respectful, smart, functional, emotionally healthy, well educated, resilient and well employed people who are prudent in their choicez.

They will attract to themselves people who are similar to them in these traits. Problem solved.

Moral of the story is that you have to put in the effort to parent well for the rest of your life. Then everything becomes easy.

[Anonymous]

If you read relationship column, it would scare you. It seems there aren't that many good people out there.

[Anonymous]

My son and his S/O are two peas in a pod. They have so much fun together and enjoy many of the same things. They are respectful of each other and madly in love. I liked her from the start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They didn't kiss up to me - they were just mature people who were kind and responsible to my kids. No drama, no games, no cheating, no addictions.

Same. I want my kids to have kind, healthy partners. Period. The rest is window dressing and all depends on what each person wants. I don't care about race, education, religion, job, wealth, hobbies, etc.

I've worked really hard to help my children grow to be kind and healthy, too. And I expect them to treat their partners well.

[Anonymous]

My son loves her, and I love my son.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. You need to start from a place of assuming good things and prioritizing that they make each other happy, not “winning you over.”

You’re a right piece of work, aren’t you, OP?

You should be warned that these days, most people meet their spouse or long-term partner when they are fully independent adults. It’s not you meet your spouse in high school. It’s you meet your spouse when you’ve got a job, lots of established friends and connections and your own family and community.

Be warned: very few people will need or want to “win” the approval of some old Karen.

[Anonymous]

Most who really loves someone, would try to win their loved ones. No matter its SO winning ILs or ILs winning their child's SO. If it doesn't work out, they'll keep respectful boundaries but still have good will for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. You need to start from a place of assuming good things and prioritizing that they make each other happy, not “winning you over.”

You’re a right piece of work, aren’t you, OP?

You should be warned that these days, most people meet their spouse or long-term partner when they are fully independent adults. It’s not you meet your spouse in high school. It’s you meet your spouse when you’ve got a job, lots of established friends and connections and your own family and community.

Be warned: very few people will need or want to “win” the approval of some old Karen.

Wouldn't all that make one mature enough to strive for a healthy family dynamics?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Raise your kids well so they are decent, moral, kind, honest, open-minded, respectful, smart, functional, emotionally healthy, well educated, resilient and well employed people who are prudent in their choicez.

They will attract to themselves people who are similar to them in these traits. Problem solved.

Moral of the story is that you have to put in the effort to parent well for the rest of your life. Then everything becomes easy.

Agree with the premise of instilling all those good qualities in your kids but you absolutely must add a dash or two of stark reality. Which is, there be monsters out there.

Being kind, honest and moral can be welcome mats for psychopathic personalities. I would assume the "well educated" and "prudent" part may ameliorate that but I have known kids who fit the above description and unfortunately fell prey to cunning con artists who wrecked their lives.

Another trait to add may be, Trust your gut instincts.

[Anonymous]

It sure seems lots of mentally, morally and financially deficient folks out there on dating apps and in real life.

[Anonymous]

My daughter's so didn't win us over, he showed his true self which is a loyal, hard working man who loved our grandson (not his biological son) and went on to be a great stepfather and father to there biological son.

[Anonymous]

There are good people out there - but it's not always clear how to find them. Oddly, my mid-20s daughter was recently diagnosed with a chronic health condition that she disclosed on her profile to avoid awkward conversations later. Once she disclosed this on her dating profile her choices improved dramatically - her dating pool moved on from immature players to kind and interesting (plus attractive AND successful) men looking for a relationship. Her now BF is a gem.

[Anonymous]

They just need to be a good person who is good to/good for your child.

If you think they need to “win you over” you’re doing it wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Highly paid job. Not abusive.

Sad response.