How to increase aggressiveness in sports?

[Anonymous]

In the very off chance this isn’t a troll, I’ll bite. DD was on soccer with 4 and 5 year olds last fall. Loved being on a team, loves running, has a good kick, enjoyed herself. But wasn’t aggressive either.

One day on the way home from a game she said “I wish I’d gotten a goal like Larla and Larlo did.” we talked a little bit about how not everybody gets a goal and that making goal is not the main reason why we play soccer, but if she wants to have a chance of getting a goal, then she needs to be on the ball, following the ball, trying to kick it into the goal. It is the most simple thing in the world, but that is what clicked for her. The next game she scored a goal. So, maybe your child just needs some encouragement and reminder that if he wants to make a goal he needs to do more than kick and stop moving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the very off chance this isn’t a troll, I’ll bite. DD was on soccer with 4 and 5 year olds last fall. Loved being on a team, loves running, has a good kick, enjoyed herself. But wasn’t aggressive either.

One day on the way home from a game she said “I wish I’d gotten a goal like Larla and Larlo did.” we talked a little bit about how not everybody gets a goal and that making goal is not the main reason why we play soccer, but if she wants to have a chance of getting a goal, then she needs to be on the ball, following the ball, trying to kick it into the goal. It is the most simple thing in the world, but that is what clicked for her. The next game she scored a goal. So, maybe your child just needs some encouragement and reminder that if he wants to make a goal he needs to do more than kick and stop moving

I don't think this is such an egregious OP -- nothing wrong with working on things like this in a low key way to help your kids improve and have even more fun (I'm assuming your DS likes the class, though). We had a similar experience to the quoted PP's...our DD liked soccer and is coordinated/reasonably athletic. Her issue was a lack of aggressiveness. We discussed it and DH practiced with her in the backyard (which was fun for her too), and she improved. It made it all the more fun. FWIW, though, she's older now and her favorite sport by far is softball.

[Anonymous]

My kid is 10 and remains reasonably unaggressive in sports, it is who he is. But he is having fun, listens to his coaches, is a good teammate, and enjoys the activity.

[Anonymous]

So I wonder what causes this competitive attitude in kids. It is very frustrating as a parent to know they have the skills for a sport and yet have no desire to go after the ball and score.

Fwiw, I can feel this way as a parent and still be guided by/listen to my kids. None of them play team sports anymore since they aren’t interested. I’m a little sad but also relieved I don’t have to contain my frustration watching them play.

[Anonymous]

You know in horses there are draft horses, warm-blooded and hot blooded horses? Each types of horses are good for a certain job, warm-blooded is good for riding and dressage, and hot blooded is for race horse.

Don't force a draft horse to be a race horse, that's all I am saying. There are champions in every types it's your job to find it for your son.

[LWMS10]

OP I think this is only an issue if your child is saying they don't like soccer. In which case you don't sign up for next season. If they like it, let them enjoy it. They might figure things out in a year or two, or not. There's no way to know at 5-6 years old. I have no recollection of what my travel soccer playing child looked like in kindergarten. My own kindergartner plays like you describe. But they love it so we will keep signing up unless that changes.

[Anonymous]

My non aggressive soccer player switched to track and it’s such a better fit for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My non aggressive soccer player switched to track and it’s such a better fit for him.

Sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My non aggressive soccer player switched to track and it’s such a better fit for him.

Sad

The only thing sad in this anecdote is your closed-mindedness.

[Anonymous]

Just give it time. We want our 5 year olds to behave differently in sports than in school or at home. They are used to hearing, “take turns, sharing is caring, be polite, don’t push, be kind, don’t hurt anyone, wait for your turn”, so it takes a while for kids to realize that it’s ok to hog to ball, steal the ball from others, and be a bit physical. Kids who chafe under rules figure out quickly that sports are different. Kids who are rule followers need more time.

[Anonymous]

OP, some kids aren't aggressive in sports. It's how they are wired. I don't know if there is a way to make them more aggressive. Give it time and see how it goes. In the meantime, don't worry about it. As long as the kids are having fun.

[Anonymous]

Soccer may just not be his sport. Is he having fun? If he's not, finish the season and try something else. I tried for two seasons. Soccer just wasn't his thing. He now does rock climbing and tennis. At that age, just expose them to different sports.