Another hospice question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not normal. Try a different hospice agency.

This type of advice just inflames the situation. It’s not helpful. OP, if you haven’t already, it would be helpful to have a full conversation with the person who said not to feed your relative and ask why they are saying that. Explain that your relative wants to eat. Talk this all through and explain your concerns. If you still think this person is giving horrible guidance, then speak to the next person up the chain. But maybe sure you understand why they said it first.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, OP. In my experience, yes, this is a normal instruction, but the nurse should have said “unless the patient requests food.” Offering food or water to a dying person can increase their pain and discomfort. We naturally stop wanting to eat and drink at the end of life. But if someone is there putting food and sips of water in our mouths, obviously our body will keep getting food and water even though we aren’t hungry or thirsty. I suspect what she meant was, “don’t offer food unless he asks for it.” But she communicated it poorly. I’m sorry it was upsetting to you.

[Anonymous]

My father was just in hospice. Patients were allowed to eat if they were able. No ivs or ng tubes though.

[Anonymous]

I’ve found hospice to be evil. They have a timeline and their recommendations appear related to conform to how they are paid by the government. Be careful because they will have the right to give morphine, which is basically a legal way to kill someone who is dying. I learned this the hard way.

Hospice wanted us to stop all prescription medicine which we refused to do because doing so would cause discomfort to the dying person. Hospice seems to want to give morphine only and speed things up.

They don’t really perform any useful function.

We were forced to use hospice when elderly parent stopped eating. Elderly parent started eating again. Hospice overdosed the parent. Marvin was given etc. It was a mess and upsetting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If patient wants to eat, you might be the one who has to feed it. Plus, they might jack up so much pain meds they are too zonked out to eat. And no IV nutrition or water will be given I assume

“They” have no business “jacking up” pain medicine beyond that required to treat pain at any given moment. Pain management is an art and requires individualized planning and reassessment. People do not always have to be “snowed” to be comfortable. Some medical personnel are morphine happy with a one size fits all sledgehammer approach. Dying people deserve better.

Thank you for saying this. I’ve carried the pain of knowing a nurse overdosed my parent. This nearly did me in and no one understood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If patient wants to eat, you might be the one who has to feed it. Plus, they might jack up so much pain meds they are too zonked out to eat. And no IV nutrition or water will be given I assume

“They” have no business “jacking up” pain medicine beyond that required to treat pain at any given moment. Pain management is an art and requires individualized planning and reassessment. People do not always have to be “snowed” to be comfortable. Some medical personnel are morphine happy with a one size fits all sledgehammer approach. Dying people deserve better.

Thank you for saying this. I’ve carried the pain of knowing a nurse overdosed my parent. This nearly did me in and no one understood.

I don’t know your circumstances, but sometimes a person is in such terrible pain that they need pain medicine even if it might kill them, as by repressing their breathing. What matters in such cases is the intention, not the result. Perhaps the nurse had the right intention. One can hope so. Perhaps the nurse did not, and if so what they did was wrong. But it was not your doing and it was not your fault. Please try to stop taking this all on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve found hospice to be evil. They have a timeline and their recommendations appear related to conform to how they are paid by the government. Be careful because they will have the right to give morphine, which is basically a legal way to kill someone who is dying. I learned this the hard way.

Hospice wanted us to stop all prescription medicine which we refused to do because doing so would cause discomfort to the dying person. Hospice seems to want to give morphine only and speed things up.

They don’t really perform any useful function.

We were forced to use hospice when elderly parent stopped eating. Elderly parent started eating again. Hospice overdosed the parent. Marvin was given etc. It was a mess and upsetting.

I'm so sorry

This was not my experience with hospice at all.

Like the pp, we were given thickeners to help the patient with swallowing. They were allowed to eat and drink as much as they asked for. They also could continue on medication that improved their symptoms (nothing curative, but still their long term meds).

I would check in with the supervising physician or if there's a primary contact at the hospice center and request a new nurse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My understanding in our situation was the patient would end up in more pain if they ate because they wouldn't be able to digest it.

OP here- THIS makes sense to me, and what we were hoping someone could assesS for us. I was hoping for more patient-specific assistance on when that was. With others I’ve known, vomiting was one of the stop eating indicators.
Thanks to all for all the input.