Best doctors and hositals for a natural birth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with considering and respecting our husband's opinion? Wives handle & respond to husband's point of view differently. Some of us like to work as a team with our husbands. A lot of time husbands are the key birth partners, so they need to feel comfortable too to support us. I would love to birth naturally at a birth center but my husband wants me to birth at a hospital in case any emergency situation occurs. I totally understand his concern and the strategy now change to find a hospital that is open or supportive to natural birth. We are now looking at MCA in Rockville. The midwives there deliver at Shady Grove Hospital.

I agree with you! At last time I checked, the baby was half his!

Ladies! The whole point is that the husband hasn't actually done any research. His feelings are grounded in fear. His opinions are based merely on other opinions. Does he understand what WOULD happen if an emergency were to occur? How can he make a decision about where to have a baby if he does not understand how emergencies are handled in a birth center or at home? Simply put, he just does not have any first-hand information on the topic, so how can he have a say in the matter? It would be like if you were offered a new job, and without hearing what the job was, where it was located or how much it paid; him telling you that you were not allowed to take it simply because he didn't like the job title.

In my experience, once a woman decides she wants a homebirth and starts engaging her husband in various aspects of that, the husband concedes that it is a good decision. Usually that engagement comes in the form of books, videos, scientific research, conversations with others who have had a homebirth, and conversations with midwives who provide homebirth. Obviously if all that work has been done, and he still has various objections, then the "middle ground" of using a hospital based midwife, for example, becomes an excellent option. And of course, if the mother doesn't really care to begin with, the sure, go with whatever he wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a natural childbirth with Dr. Tchabo at VHC. The nurses and staff had seen my birth plan and my wish to go med-free. I got no guff about it. My nurse was actually very supportive. I also was not pressured into any other interventions (other than intermittent external monitoring - and even with that, after the attending Dr. had seen two or so normal looking strips, the monitoring was much less than the advertised 20 minutes per hour).

I was able to labor where and how I wanted, I pushed in different positions, I drank as much liquid as I wanted (didn't really want to eat anything), lights were low -- it was a relatively relaxed and low-key atmosphere.

I decided to deliver in a hospital for several reasons:
1) I was too cheap to pay out of pocket for a home birth.
2) I was nervous about getting lousy treatment in a hospital if I indeed needed to transfer.
3) My spouse was fairly uncomfortable with the idea of a home birth.
4) I am not afraid to state my needs and what I want/don't want. It is pretty hard to bulldoze me -- even in labor.
5) Did I mention that I am cheap?

See, this is what I mean about people doing their homework. Homebirth is covered by almost all insurance plans. You don't discover this until you actually interview a feww different midwives and ask them directly if they are able to bill your insurance. They could also answer questions about transferring to the hospital, as well as allowing the husband to ask all the "tough" questions. Obviously you made a choice that you were extremely happy with, and of course at the end of the day that is all that matters. It just drives me nuts when people make all sorts of assumptions about homebirth and then base their decision on that, without actually knowing the facts.

Strange comment given you have no idea about PP's health insurance plan or the midwife she would have felt most comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Ladies! The whole point is that the husband hasn't actually done any research. His feelings are grounded in fear. His opinions are based merely on other opinions. Does he understand what WOULD happen if an emergency were to occur? How can he make a decision about where to have a baby if he does not understand how emergencies are handled in a birth center or at home? Simply put, he just does not have any first-hand information on the topic, so how can he have a say in the matter? It would be like if you were offered a new job, and without hearing what the job was, where it was located or how much it paid; him telling you that you were not allowed to take it simply because he didn't like the job title.

This is kind of offensive. I gave birth with midwives from the Family Health & Birth Center who also deliver at WHC. I did a ton of research and I knew exactly how emergencies were handled at the birth center. But I still wasn't comfortable delivering there and yes, it was based on fear. Which is perfectly ok. Everyone has to do what they're comfortable with. And I'm never going to tell my husband to stuff it if he's more worried about something than I am, even if it's verging on irrational. He loves me, he doesn't want to lose me or our child, and I needed/wanted him to be an active, helpful participant in the birth. If we were in a place that made him nervous, I'd imagine it would be hard for him to be comfortable and help make me comfortable.

So why don't you just lay off a bit? It may not be the decision you agree with, but everyone has to do what's best for them and frankly, you don't get to have a say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I decided to deliver in a hospital for several reasons:
1) I was too cheap to pay out of pocket for a home birth.
2) I was nervous about getting lousy treatment in a hospital if I indeed needed to transfer.
3) My spouse was fairly uncomfortable with the idea of a home birth.
4) I am not afraid to state my needs and what I want/don't want. It is pretty hard to bulldoze me -- even in labor.
5) Did I mention that I am cheap?

See, this is what I mean about people doing their homework. Homebirth is covered by almost all insurance plans. You don't discover this until you actually interview a feww different midwives and ask them directly if they are able to bill your insurance. They could also answer questions about transferring to the hospital, as well as allowing the husband to ask all the "tough" questions. Obviously you made a choice that you were extremely happy with, and of course at the end of the day that is all that matters. It just drives me nuts when people make all sorts of assumptions about homebirth and then base their decision on that, without actually knowing the facts.

Actually, I DID check with my insurance carrier (and another during my companies open enrollment season) and NO, they do NOT cover home birth. I don't think that this is uncommon. It is not fair, but please don't go around perpetuating the notion that insurance will cover it -- they frequently won't. They do cover MW OB care, and some birth center births, but not homebirth. I had nixed the birthcenters in the area based on the amount of time it would take to drive to them from either my home or work. Arbitrary? Yes, but having spent just under 15 minutes in a car in hard labor, I can tell you that I made the right decision to not pick a birth place that was any further away. I did not feel it was worth several thousand dollars out of my pocket to birth at home, when I am perfectly capable of communicating my wishes in a hospital setting. You may feel differently, and by all means do what you are most comfortable with! Isn't that what this is all about -- comfort? You should do your research and birth where you feel most comfortable and safe.

[Anonymous]

Just as an FYI -- when I called my insurance company to see if they covered home birth they said they did not. But when I talked to my homebirth midwife, she said that they all say that when you call. She had a billing company that knew how to get around that -- and billed for the services of a certified nurse midwife and never mentioned it as a homebirth. as a result it was 60% covered. we have a PPO. my understanding is that with an HMO homebirth is rarely covered. but with PPO you can usually get some coverage with an out of network provider (which homebirth midwives almost always are). so we still ended up paying some money, and i can understand that a lot of people can't afford that or don't want to, but we did get 60% back despite the insurance company telling me on the phone they wouldn't cover it.

[Anonymous]

I have heard that WHC is a good option for an unmedicated birth, even if you're not working with their internal midwife practice. I've also heard from an acquaintance that she had an unmedicated birth at Holy Cross (a few years ago now) and had no trouble with staff (although I've read other reports that suggest this was unusual).

On the home birth and husbands topic: we are going ahead with planning for a home birth with a midwife even though my husband is still nervous, with the agreement that we will leave open the option to return to my OB and a hospital setting if he does not become more comfortable through the course of the next few months of working with the midwives and going through childbirth education classes. We also were looking for a birth center in a hospital as our first choice, but Kaiser does not cover that option and the only freestanding birth center is (a) 45 minutes from our house, and (b) in the process of terminating their contract with Kaiser. We decided together (yes, after watching The Business of Being Born and meeting with two midwife practices) that we were more comfortable being in our house with the hospital backup only 10 minutes away than driving 45 minutes and having the hospital backup be a place we weren't familiar with.

That being said, I come from a family where the women have all had uncomplicated pregnancies and births, and I'm not going into this with a lot of fears. My husband agreed to try to approach preparing for home birth (physically and mentally) as a challenge that we were voluntarily undertaking together, like training for a marathon or something of that nature. I'm optimistic that he'll only become more comfortable as we near the end (although, of course, there are always going to be residual fears about something going wrong; it's really a question of whether they are large enough to guide your choice or whether you're comfortable trying to live with them in a setting that you agree is a good option).

[Anonymous]

This might be too far out for you, OP, but we love Loudoun Community Midwives and the Birthing Inn at Loudoun Hospital. I live in Reston but delivered at Loudoun. When I got to Loudoun Hospital one of the first questions I was asked is if I wanted a natural birth or an epidural. After I said natural birth, I was never asked again if I wanted an epidural.

[Anonymous]

My friend's husband wrote this essay about how he came around to the idea of a home birth after initially finding it reckless, and why he ended up liking it so much. Intro below, click link for full essay.

http://www.homebirth.org.uk/blokesven.htm

"All Dads-to-be are nervous, or at least skeptical, when their wife/partner first mentions the idea of having a home birth. This is nothing to be ashamed of – us guys are conditioned by a lifetimes constant bombardment that Doctors know best and that it is our patriarch's duty to always make the safest choices. That's why when my wife Bel first brought up the idea for the birth of our second daughter, my first train of thought was about risk. Images of John Hurt's chest cracking open and a tiny, evil alien being screeching its bloody arrival to the universe ran through my mind. I looked up at the walls of our apartment and wondered whether an arterial spray of blood could ever be washed out of that particular shade of off-white.

Ten minutes' googling dissolved my misconception that home birth is reckless (with Bel peering over my shoulder and directing me to websites she'd already read). In a nutshell, there are studies for and against, but if you listen to your own common sense you will probably agree it's just as safe, if not safer. You can find all that stuff for yourself, what I want to really want to talk about is the second train of though that ran through my head – why?"

[Anonymous]

I had a natural birth at VHC with my DD and loved it! The nurses were very supportive and all the recovery rooms are private. The nurses read my birth plan and respected it. I was with a very unsupportive dr who was the biggest downer of the process. I'm preg with #2 now and have switched to Karen King at VHC. It's nice because she is a midwife, but there are 4 drs in her practice as back-up if additional interventions are necessary.

[Anonymous]

Dr. Jack P. Ayoub of Virginia OB/GYN in Lansdowne. He is a fantastic and caring OB! I would highly recommend him - he trained with Midwives and is pro-natural birthing methods. Plus Inova Loudoun is one of the only birthing centers associated with a hospital in the area.

http://myvaobgyn.com/default.aspx

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dr. Jack P. Ayoub of Virginia OB/GYN in Lansdowne. He is a fantastic and caring OB! I would highly recommend him - he trained with Midwives and is pro-natural birthing methods. Plus Inova Loudoun is one of the only birthing centers associated with a hospital in the area.

http://myvaobgyn.com/default.aspx

Can you tell me more about Ayoub? I'm thinking of using him but it made me nervous that 1) he didn't know his VBAC rates (are they not as good as he advertises? Why wouldn't he compile them if VBACs are a goal of his?) and 2) I couldnt find those rates online (all the other doctors seem to have them published as part of a state medical directory, but for some reason- perhaps b/c he is new to the area- he didn't). I'm wondering if he "talks the talk" but doesn't walk it... but I would love to be wrong about that! He DID mention that he had a VBAC about once a month at one point, but that's fairly meaningless to me (how many patients attempt one with him?)

Tell me more about how the birthing center is associated with the hospital? Isn't it the same thing?

[Anonymous]

I had an unmedicated birth with Dr. Robert Footer at Sibley in 2009. As OBs go, I think he is about as pro-natural birth as they come (with the possible exception of Dr. Tchabo). Very laid back and not quick with interventions, good bedside manner. That said, we decided to go with a midwife at a hospital for #2, as I felt like that better matched up with my concerns and philosophies.

[Anonymous]

I had a great experience with my natural childbirth at Alexandria Inova. I wasn't pressured at all when I said I didn't want any meds. I'd recommend my OB, Cheryl Ferrier, because she's great, but she's a solo and is in high demand, so I doubt you'd be able to see her in time.

As for the husband issue, I'm with 9:23. Do husbands' feelings about childbirth not count? I would absolutely not deliver at home (after learning enough about it to make that decision); I would not have let DH push me into it if he had wanted it. If he absolutely didn't want that experience, I wouldn't want to push him into it, either, simply because I was the one giving birth. Sheesh. Both parents should be involved in the planning here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an unmedicated birth with Dr. Robert Footer at Sibley in 2009. As OBs go, I think he is about as pro-natural birth as they come (with the possible exception of Dr. Tchabo). Very laid back and not quick with interventions, good bedside manner. That said, we decided to go with a midwife at a hospital for #2, as I felt like that better matched up with my concerns and philosophies.

Unfortunately Dr Footer has changed his tune somewhat in recent years. He's been pushing more of his clients to induce, using the big baby excuse. As a doula and birth educator, I don't recommend him to my clients looking for a natural birth. I'm more comfortable recommending DeSouza and Tchabo. But really, if you want a natural birth, hire a midwife. It's their specialty.

[Anonymous]

Just from my personal experience with this: I had a home birth in 2005 and had to work hard to convince my husband it was the right thing to do. He was just like OP's husband at first and it took a lot of Ina May-ing to get him to the place where he was even vaguely comfortable with the notion. I say vaguely comfortable because in the end the fact that he wasn't 100% happy with the situation made for a less than perfect experience for us.

I assure you, he read and listened and attended every single natural childbirth class I asked him to. He worked hard to understand my wishes for a non hospital birth. And we communicated openly about our feelings. But nothing can prepare you for what happens and how you actually feel when you do give birth.

In the end my husband still had fear during the home birth and as he is a sensitive person I could see it in his eyes throughout. He did his best to be as supportive to me and the birth but it wasn't his fault that he just wasn't able to feel completely secure with the notion of us being at home, with midwives and doulas and the prospect that if something had gone wrong (it didn't) we'd have to have transferred to the nearest hospital, one with the highest rate of medicalized non-natural births in the area.

The point is that perhaps I didn't take his feelings into account enough. I now feel maybe I steam rollered him into a home birth last time and perhaps it wasn't the right thing for BOTH of us. I am not judging anyone else's decision on this and I embrace any woman and mans rights to choose whatever birth plan they make once they've researched all the options.

For us though, any fear that existed for either one of us in the birth of OUR child became OUR fear - and so we've decided that for our second child we're heading to the hospital. Partly because I'd like to try the alternative (I think I know enough about my body and reactions in birth now to stand up for what I want even in a hospital setting) and partly because I never want to see or feel that fear in my husbands eyes again, at such a vulnerable important moment. I'd rather we BOTH feel confident and supported. Together. That's just respect and working together. FWIW we're with MCA, so it's a midwifery assisted birth again and at Shady Grove there are birthing tubs and apparently staff who are used to and support a natural birth. So I feel we're making the best choice for both of us.

Just throwing my side of it out there for those (that person) who thinks it's ok to steam roller the husband who is fearful of a home birth even WHEN he does ALL the research and reading.