Cooking and decision fatigue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH can’t cook, and I don’t want to deal with him learning when when we have 3 kids who need to eat every night.

Can you cook together every so often? Maybe once a week feed the kids leftovers and cook together once they're in bed? Adults should learn how to cook basics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can set up a rotation so you narrow down your options - Monday = Italian, Tuesday = Mexican, Wednesday = Soup/Chili, Thursday = grill. Then you have a starting point for every night but you don't have to necessarily eat the exact same thing every Monday.

Prepandemic, this was exactly my approach. My days were things like crockpot, grill, soup/chili, meatless, taco Tuesday, and a take out night.

Now, I’ve been doing Hello Fresh the better part of the last 2 years. The decision/shopping fatigue is significantly reduced, my husband helps more because he doesn’t mind following step by step recipes, and I think we save money by wasting and eating out less. Four servings is good for family of 4 with teens, we also did one of these services when the kids were little and ate their own dinner more often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can set up a rotation so you narrow down your options - Monday = Italian, Tuesday = Mexican, Wednesday = Soup/Chili, Thursday = grill. Then you have a starting point for every night but you don't have to necessarily eat the exact same thing every Monday.

I do this loosely. Categories are pasta, Chinese, Indian, Tex Mex, sandwiches, grill. We don't do them all every week and we make heavy use of leftovers but it helps plug stuff in when uninspired. This week we brought chips and baked Spinach Artichoke dip to a 4th of July cookout, and made grilled chicken tikka, hot dogs, and vegetables (2 meals), and spaghetti and meatballs with vegetables blended into sauce (2 meals). On Fridays we let the kids eat frozen chicken nuggets as a treat.

[Anonymous]

DH needs to cook. Sorry, no excuses. One night a week, he can start by learning one dish. This will help immensely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just go on websites like serious eats or the kitchn and go to "easy weeknight meals" and pick one. I rule out anything we've had in the last week, for variety's sake. For sides I do a lot of frozen vegetables -- I don't love it but that's where I'm at in life. You can double recipes if you want leftovers.

I gotta say I would be mentally exhausted to be married to someone who can't cook at all. That is just ... not competent adult behavior.

Here are some easy meals I've made recently!

-salmon in foil: https://www.wellplated.com/baked-salmon-in-foil/

-baked chicken with artichokes/preserved lemons: https://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-baked-chicken-with-artichokes-cinnamon-and-preserved-lemons-113014

-creamy French mustard chicken: https://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-skillet-creamy-french-mustard-chicken-248390

I've made this recipe and it's excellent! Thighs with the bone have more flavor. I use the Trader Joe's seeded dijon mustard (forget what it's called)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can set up a rotation so you narrow down your options - Monday = Italian, Tuesday = Mexican, Wednesday = Soup/Chili, Thursday = grill. Then you have a starting point for every night but you don't have to necessarily eat the exact same thing every Monday.

I do this loosely. Categories are pasta, Chinese, Indian, Tex Mex, sandwiches, grill. We don't do them all every week and we make heavy use of leftovers but it helps plug stuff in when uninspired. This week we brought chips and baked Spinach Artichoke dip to a 4th of July cookout, and made grilled chicken tikka, hot dogs, and vegetables (2 meals), and spaghetti and meatballs with vegetables blended into sauce (2 meals). On Fridays we let the kids eat frozen chicken nuggets as a treat.

Same - with leftovers and take out over weekend - enough meals for the week.
I also hate grocery shopping, so it's done online and curb pickup to save time.

[Anonymous]

Some things that work for me:

Have your past meals organized in some way. For me, it's a list in Google sheets with basic categories like Vegetarian, Pasta, Meat. Then just pick from this list. It doesn't matter if you made the same thing last week.

Have set nights for certain things, like other PPs mentioned. Mexican night, sandwhich night, pasta night, etc.

Lean into breakfast for dinner, easy and always a hit.

Your DH can cook up some chicken nuggets and prepare salad from a bag, or roasted veggies. That's an acceptable weeknight dinner for the family. Not everything has to be a recipe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe there are several meal-prepping websites out there that publish menus with shopping lists every week. Maybe find one of those and follow it?

Alternatively, just find 7 meals everyone likes and assign one to each night of the week. That's what my parents did, and we all survived.

+ 1 I grew up with my mother rotating through about 10 different amazing dishes. She never had to look any recipe up and knew to make them and we all looked forward to them. I kind of do the same. I Experiment with new things over on the weekends.

This! Pick 10 things that are easy and can scale up for leftovers and rotate through. When you feel inspired, try something new, but no pressure to do so every night/week.

[Anonymous]

When your kids are that small, you’re in survival mode. I agree with others to find 7 meals that are easy that your family likes, and just rotate through them. I love to cook, but I finally got over the idea that I needed to be planning and serving creative 5 star meals. I was doing it for me, not them. My DC would happily eat a rotation of spaghetti and tacos.

I realize that teaching your DH to cook sounds like more work than it’s worth, but when I had a stressful job and DC was young, my DH (who isn’t what I would call a “cook”) would often put fish/steak/pork chops/chicken on the grill and throw a bag of Trader Joe’s veggies in the microwave or make a salad for dinner. It wasn’t gourmet, but it was relatively healthy, and it was such a blessing to have dinner in process when I got home from work. In other words, maybe figure out if there is something simple he can do to take the load off of you at least every once in a while?

[Anonymous]

Sorry to break it to you, but you have no idea how easy you have it now that your kids are little. Not only do they go to bed at night in a routine, but they eat like simple little birds.

I have 3 teens/tweens who all play sports and have metabolisms of race horses. the volume I have to cook is truly exhausting. I can’t buy meat anymore at the regular grocery. I have to go to Costco. A pineapple? Don’t in a sitting. 1 gallon of milk a day, 3 dozen eggs a week, 2 bundles of asparagus a sitting. 3 loaves of bread a week. Hamburger night? I need to grill 9. I’m spending $400/wk on groceries (we don’t eat out AT ALL).

Enjoy your cheese sticks, chicken nuggets, and apple slices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH can’t cook, and I don’t want to deal with him learning when when we have 3 kids who need to eat every night.

Can you cook together every so often? Maybe once a week feed the kids leftovers and cook together once they're in bed? Adults should learn how to cook basics.

Agree with getting DH involved now and at the very least teaching him how to prepare a handful of meals. You have 18 more years of weekly meal planning and prep!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do new recipes on the weekends, not weeknights. I also have a functional spouse who handles half the work, but you're over a barrel on that point I guess. Here's what you need:

1. A simple chicken dinner. Baked thighs, grilled tenders, who cares. You can take out frozen chicken in the morning and know what you're doing that night. Needs one or two veggie sides - I like roasting them from fresh but if canned or frozen is where you're at that's fine.
2. Ground beef. Meatloaf or tacos, depending on what's in your pantry. Sides based on what you make, keep it simple.
3. A big bag of frozen meatballs that can go from freezer to plate in 20 minutes. We get ours from Costco. Pair with a veggie and/or salad. Salad can come out of a bag.
4. Frozen pizzas for when the ball got dropped. Regular crust or cauliflower.
5. A bag of chicken nuggets for the kids and you and DH can have steaks after they're in bed.
6. An emergency frozen lasagna.
7. Rotisserie chicken to eat the night you get home from shopping.
8. Takeout one night a week.
9. DH learns to grill. He can do a bunch of sausages or hot dogs on the weekend and you can eat off of them all week for lunches (with mac & cheese for the kids).
10. Some frozen fish filets that can be cooked quickly and paired with a side. Tilapia, catfish, trout, whatever your kids will eat.
11. Breakfast for dinner. I like just bacon and eggs; DH will add pancakes if it's up to him.
12. Sandwiches, pickles, some fruit. It seems like a cop out but kids just think a meal is a meal. No reason to stress yourself making a sharp delineation between "lunch" food and "dinner" food.

We don't plan a menu for the week, but we have a lot of old standbys that can be thrown on in a pinch. The trick is to have your pantry and veggies stocked well - buy the green veggies that don't go bad too quickly (broccoli, brussels sprouts, green beans), have a few bagged salads on hand, keep an eye on your frozen rations so that you know what to restock when you shop. And because most meals are dead easy, you can enjoy cooking on the weekends when you try something new.

I don't have a functional spouse, but this is more or less what we do.

Re: the grilled/baked chicken dinner, make plenty. You can use the leftovers on top of salad, or in chicken quesadillas, or turn it into chicken salad. Thighs are cheaper, more flavorful, and don't really get dried out in the fridge.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP! I am in a very similar position to you!

I like cooking and meal planning but doing it every single day is just so much. Here are some things I like:
- check out a cookbook from the library and spending a month using only those recipes (smitten kitchen, modern proper, and ina garten are great)
- consider the cookbook by food 52 called a new way to dinner. It plans the whole week and focuses on repurposing leftover items.
- Epicurious used to do a weekly meal plan a couple years ago. They have it archived so you could still use it. Like a new way to dinner, it’s seasonal.
- like others have said, try a loose plan like Monday is meatless, Tuesday is tacos, etc.

It sounds like you put pressure on yourself and I totally get it! I do as well and I honestly wouldn’t listen to people telling me to let go of recipes and such. I don’t like that processed or convenient foods are so unhealthy. But I do allow myself one dinner a week to have some little cheats. Like, I buy Trader Joe’s frozen Chinese stir fry and add lots of bell peppers and I rationalize it by saying that it’s just once a week or so.

Also, my DH really can’t cook either. He is incredibly competent at so many things and a great husband and father. If this is your DH too, please feel free to ignore all of the suggestions about getting your DH in the kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Make only one new recipe a week. Everything else is tried and true, easy to make things that you know your family likes.
2. Cook one large meal a week that makes leftovers for a second night.
3. Go out or take out once per week.

This is my approach. Also have a 1yo and a 4yo. I have three meals that everyone likes that I make every week. Fourth day is something different, fifth day is takeout or a restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to break it to you, but you have no idea how easy you have it now that your kids are little. Not only do they go to bed at night in a routine, but they eat like simple little birds.

I have 3 teens/tweens who all play sports and have metabolisms of race horses. the volume I have to cook is truly exhausting. I can’t buy meat anymore at the regular grocery. I have to go to Costco. A pineapple? Don’t in a sitting. 1 gallon of milk a day, 3 dozen eggs a week, 2 bundles of asparagus a sitting. 3 loaves of bread a week. Hamburger night? I need to grill 9. I’m spending $400/wk on groceries (we don’t eat out AT ALL).

Enjoy your cheese sticks, chicken nuggets, and apple slices.

Ha ha! My kids are also older now, and the sheer volume of cooking can be exhausting, but I think going through the early years of cooking for a family of younger kids helped make it more tolerable now. I enjoy cooking, but don't enjoy cooking ALL of the time, so I have embraced cooking some simpler meals, have made certain dishes often enough that I can put them together pretty quickly, have learned to double up and freeze some things, and am not above the occasional dinner of sandwiches or a very basic breakfast for dinner.