Acknowledging expressions of sympathy: Stationery etiquette

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to write a sympathy card. Is it okay to send one I have on hand that was free? It's a nice card, just not like a $6 Hallmark card. I am under a deadline and can't go buy one, but wanted to at least acknowledge their loss.

OP, I've never heard of anyone writing thank you notes for sympathy cards, but go ahead if it makes you feel better. Don't feel obligated though.

Of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to write a sympathy card. Is it okay to send one I have on hand that was free? It's a nice card, just not like a $6 Hallmark card. I am under a deadline and can't go buy one, but wanted to at least acknowledge their loss.

OP, I've never heard of anyone writing thank you notes for sympathy cards, but go ahead if it makes you feel better. Don't feel obligated though.

Go for it. As long as it's an appropriate design, the only thing that matters is the expression of sympathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to write a sympathy card. Is it okay to send one I have on hand that was free? It's a nice card, just not like a $6 Hallmark card. I am under a deadline and can't go buy one, but wanted to at least acknowledge their loss.

OP, I've never heard of anyone writing thank you notes for sympathy cards, but go ahead if it makes you feel better. Don't feel obligated though.

To this PP who asked: send a sympathy note on whatever you have on hand (as long as the card isn’t specifically for another occasion and not too festive).

And send the note soon and don’t worry that you’ll be too brief. Really. Just the fact that you are thinking of the aggrieved and took a moment to convey your thoughts goes a long way.

If I can help with the wording…my go-to is short and sweet:

Dear Larla,

I’m thinking of you during this sad time.

Love,

Jane

Alternatively, I will add …and praying for you (if appropriate)

You can always send another card with more thoughts at any time and that’s nice, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to write a sympathy card. Is it okay to send one I have on hand that was free? It's a nice card, just not like a $6 Hallmark card. I am under a deadline and can't go buy one, but wanted to at least acknowledge their loss.

OP, I've never heard of anyone writing thank you notes for sympathy cards, but go ahead if it makes you feel better. Don't feel obligated though.

To this PP who asked: send a sympathy note on whatever you have on hand (as long as the card isn’t specifically for another occasion and not too festive).

And send the note soon and don’t worry that you’ll be too brief. Really. Just the fact that you are thinking of the aggrieved and took a moment to convey your thoughts goes a long way.

If I can help with the wording…my go-to is short and sweet:

Dear Larla,

I’m thinking of you during this sad time.

Love,

Jane

Alternatively, I will add …and praying for you (if appropriate)

You can always send another card with more thoughts at any time and that’s nice, too.

Just to add to this, if you have any specific memory of the deceased, even something small, go ahead and share it in your note. It can mean a lot to know that your loved one is remembered after they’re gone, especially for something that their family may not have known or experienced. I got a note like that after my mother died, and I treasure it here some thirty years later.

I recall when a former coworker died suddenly, I included in my note to his wife my memory of sitting at the bar after a conference with him and swapping funny stories about our customers and my memory of his raspy laugh that I wouldn’t forget. His wife replied with a note of gratitude, that she was happy to be able to add that bit of his work self to her memories of him. My mom’s been gone decades, but I love when family friends bring up how much they enjoyed her cooking when they came for dinner, her special peach dessert and so one. There’s a treasure in the details of our everyday lives.

[Anonymous]

Don’t do anything, OP.

Sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to write a sympathy card. Is it okay to send one I have on hand that was free? It's a nice card, just not like a $6 Hallmark card. I am under a deadline and can't go buy one, but wanted to at least acknowledge their loss.

OP, I've never heard of anyone writing thank you notes for sympathy cards, but go ahead if it makes you feel better. Don't feel obligated though.

To this PP who asked: send a sympathy note on whatever you have on hand (as long as the card isn’t specifically for another occasion and not too festive).

And send the note soon and don’t worry that you’ll be too brief. Really. Just the fact that you are thinking of the aggrieved and took a moment to convey your thoughts goes a long way.

If I can help with the wording…my go-to is short and sweet:

Dear Larla,

I’m thinking of you during this sad time.

Love,

Jane

Alternatively, I will add …and praying for you (if appropriate)

You can always send another card with more thoughts at any time and that’s nice, too.

Just to add to this, if you have any specific memory of the deceased, even something small, go ahead and share it in your note. It can mean a lot to know that your loved one is remembered after they’re gone, especially for something that their family may not have known or experienced. I got a note like that after my mother died, and I treasure it here some thirty years later.

I recall when a former coworker died suddenly, I included in my note to his wife my memory of sitting at the bar after a conference with him and swapping funny stories about our customers and my memory of his raspy laugh that I wouldn’t forget. His wife replied with a note of gratitude, that she was happy to be able to add that bit of his work self to her memories of him. My mom’s been gone decades, but I love when family friends bring up how much they enjoyed her cooking when they came for dinner, her special peach dessert and so one. There’s a treasure in the details of our everyday lives.

The card already basically says thinking of you so I was wondering what to say about the deceased. It's kind of awkward. Because of reasons beyond my control I didn't see them in the past couple years and I don't know what to say without bringing up the awkward part. I may just say I will remember them fondly and leave it at that. Thanks for the tips.

[Anonymous]

I’m doing the same thing right now and bought some cards with flowers on them. I know I may need to, but have been doing it for people who really went above and beyond.