DH gift requests take up so much space - say no?

[Anonymous]

Get rid of the knife block.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t believe he will actually use one of those things regularly, it’s okay to give him something else for a gift. Givers get to choose gifts and recipients are supposed to receive them graciously, whether the items are what they asked for or not.

[Anonymous]

I would say no, or say only if cabinet space can be made. When common space is limited how you use it has to be a mutual decision, not a unilateral one.

Solidarity, kitchen counters are a struggle i am basically losing because we have too much stuff and too little space. Our stuff is not that excessive but we just have a tiny kitchen.

[Anonymous]

You are being ridiculous to not let him get two appliances because of the counter space clutter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being ridiculous to not let him get two appliances because of the counter space clutter.

Today it’s a soda stream and fryer, tomorrow it will be a sous vide machine and a juicer…….

[Anonymous]

We got a toaster oven/air fryer and love it. Can you do a combo to take up less space. The soda stream can go in a cabinet or closet when not being used.

[Anonymous]

The only appliance I have put is my coffee maker. My instant pot, air fryer, mixer, toaster, waffle maker, and blender live in a cabinet or the pantry. The mixer is currently in the basement because I realized I only bake in the winter. Can you find an alternative home for these items?

For the hobby, suck it up. You’ll be glad he’s out airbrushing his crafts during his midlife crisis and not doing something nefarious.

[Anonymous]

Just because he asks for something doesn’t mean you have to give it to him. We give a lot of experiences as gifts.

[Anonymous]

I do not know your kitchen layout but I have a cabinet that I put in a pull out drawer with an outlet inside the cabinet. I keep my kitchen aid heavy mixer and Kerrigan on that shelf.

The below shelf houses the toaster. When I need, I open cabinet and pullout drawer. When done close cabinet.

We have a galley kitchen from 1970s colonial. Updated cabinetry and appliances but not foot print. THe only countertops I have are the two narrow ones that run along the sides. No way can I have anything on them besides a bowl of fruit on one side and 3 glass jars with snacks. I need them completely clear so I can prep, cook.

However, I cannot stand clutter and have gotten my husband on board after 20 years. I hope the idea above will work for you both!

[Anonymous]

I’d be less concerned about the appliances and more concerned about him almost losing his job. That’s a major issue.

How many hours a day does he spend on this hobby? Do you have kids? Is he involved with the family enough?

Hobbies are fine, but neglecting your family is not.

[Anonymous]

Look for a creative way to make it work. There's a Cuisinart multi-function machine that is a toaster, mini-oven, and air fryer. Get him that and get rid of your toaster.

The soda stream can be put in a cupboard and taken out as needed.

[Anonymous]

To be fair, a soda stream takes up barely any space. The bottles are more of a problem. Only get 1 spare.

[Anonymous]

We keep most of our appliances on a steel rack in the hallway (we have a tiny galley kitchen). Only the coffee maker, and toaster …and knife block…are on counter. The rest is cycled in and out as we use them. It’s nbd.

Does he spend time with you or is all free time dedicated to hobbies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No.

My husband hoards. We have a small house. It's awful. I battle to keep clear boundaries: he can clutter up the basement. He can clutter his office space, which sadly is part of our open floor plan. He CANNOT clutter up the rest of our home. He puts stuff in the sunroom anyway, but I nag him to take it away. He wants to keep expired food in the kitchen and store empty jars there, and I throw them away, which leads to fights. I have to resort to sneak stuff out when he's not looking, even though I know if he catches me we're in for a huge blowout, because otherwise he just WILL NOT take things out of the house. I have 10 bags of trash right now in the basement bathroom - expired shelf-stable pantry items, expired toiletries, expired medication, empty bottles, construction scraps and odds and ends, things that no sane person would ever use - that he refused to put to the curb last week because he wanted to go through it to make sure there wasn't something usable in there. He will find the expired food and probably vow to eat it, then promptly forget about it. Then it's going to sit somewhere until I try to get rid of it again. He is otherwise an intelligent research scientist. You'd think he'd see this about himself.

Be very firm, OP, because it's easier to never have space cluttered than to take it back once it is cluttered! Please believe me. I am living this nightmare. You're lucky you have a bigger house. Keep his clutter to the basement, and basement ONLY.

My dad, while not a hoarder, did grow up poor and has big issues throwing out expired food. The only thing that worked for my mom to get rid of it was to open the containers and dump out the food. She would put what should could down the garbage disposal and the other items got dumped in the trash.

For example, he'd come upon a great sale for cereal so he'd buy like 6 boxes. He'd eat 1 or 2 boxes and forget about the rest in the pantry. My mom would find them months expired and open each box to dump the cereal to prevent him from taking the full box out of the trash with the promise of eating it soon.

[Anonymous]

OP I am very sorry. I lived with a hoarder for 20 years. Eventually he would let me get rid of it or I would do it when he was away in business and he would notice. But there was always more. It’s exhausting. As for letting him use counter space in the kitchen. No way. The kitchen is a work space for the family. It’s still cluttered but I draw the line at new space using appliances.