Advice about moving 1st grader to public school in fall

[Anonymous]

We wanted DC to get the benefits of small classes and a private school setting but now want to move her to the local public school. She loves her school and dislikes change. At what point should we tell her that we're moving her? Should she know that she's moving during these last months of the spring semester? Or should we wait until a couple of weeks before the start of school in the fall? We don't want her to be upset and worry all summer long.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like telling her now would just create some upset/worry. At this young age, probably best to wait until the end of the school year.

[Anonymous]

Definitely wait. Over the summer, be sure to have her play with friends from her new school if she doesn't already. And give her much less time to worry and build the change into something much more daunting than what it will really be for her.

I'm sure the first 2 to 6 weeks of next year will be difficult for everyone ... managing the change for her and second-guessing the decision for you. But children are extremely resilient and first grade is a really good time to switch because many of the first-graders will be new (coming from various private Ks, new to the area, etc.). This means that friend groups are not solidly formed, making it more difficult for new kids to find their place in the peer groups.

[Anonymous]

You should definitely tell your child before the end of this school year - at the latest a week or two before school ends. That way she will have an opportunity to say good bye to her friends and teachers and they will have the opportunity to do the same. Optimally though if you tell her around spring break she can become accustomed to the transition and will handle it just fine. Think of this as an opportunity to help her learn how to handle transition. If you let it go and don't tell her until the summer, she will resent not having had the opportunity for closure.

[Anonymous]

I am switching my DC from private (which he LOVES) to my local public next year (2nd grade). So thanks for this thread.

Is there any thinking about the school knowing and your DC not? It kind of makes me uncomfortable...like the info will slip and the kid will look at me like "what the heck Mom?" I feel I should tell him now, around the same time I tell the school we are not enrolling...

Any thoughts?

[Anonymous]

We took DC to visit his public school, just to check it out. Once he saw it, he found all sorts of things to love and was happy to make the change.

[Anonymous]

Since it is time for re-enrollment contracts, you can tell the school you won't be returning and request that the information be kept confidential to those staff who need to know (Director, Business Office and Admission) until you are ready to tell your child. If you have parent teacher conferences in the spring, I would take that opportunity to share the news with your child's teacher and develop a game plan for sharing the news with friends. I have seen this done a number of times, with the child sharing the news at show and tell or sharing time with teacher support -- it always goes well, and always better than parents imagine. Again, a teachable moment.

[Anonymous]

Since re-enrollment contracts are due not only will the school be asking but so will other parents.

Tell your child now before he hears from another kid. The parents talk, the kids hear, tell your kid, etc

[Anonymous]

Thank you for all the good advice. You've given me something to chew on. Still, such a difficult decision to tell early. She is genuinely going to be so upset.

[Anonymous]

Why are you moving her now? Would it be better to wait a year or two until her foundation is stronger and she is more confident?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you moving her now? Would it be better to wait a year or two until her foundation is stronger and she is more confident?

I agree. If she's so happy, why do it? Is it a financial thing?

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP; if you love the school and she is happy, and you can afford it, I wouldn't move her unless there's a really good reason.

[Anonymous]

I moved my child on a Thursday to the public school. It was 2 months before the year ended. She just missed her former school on Friday until she adjusted to the new routine. On Monday I asked her if she would like to go back to the private. She looked at me and said: " Are you kidding? That school was a joke. This is a real school.Mom, I can't believe you paid so much money for a joke."

[Anonymous]

OP again. I liked the last poster's story. That would be my dream, but there's no way DC will think her current school is anything but the best after she leaves. Yes, the reason we're leaving is financial. Tuition is just too darn high.

The responses here have been interesting if unsettling. My instinct with DC really was to wait and tell her in August -- around the time that she realizes it's time to go back to school. That would give me time to find a way for her to get to know other kids. And honestly, I'm afraid that other families in the current school won't invest all the effort that goes into summer playdates if they know we're leaving. (I think that our school would keep the news quiet if I asked). I'd just hate for DC to feel isolated from her friends at such a time.

What makes everyone so sure that I should say something before the end of the year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved my child on a Thursday to the public school. It was 2 months before the year ended. She just missed her former school on Friday until she adjusted to the new routine. On Monday I asked her if she would like to go back to the private. She looked at me and said: " Are you kidding? That school was a joke. This is a real school.Mom, I can't believe you paid so much money for a joke."

Yeah, right, I'm sure that's what she said.