Anyone dropped strings?

[Anonymous]

My 4th grader is really not liking strings. Perhaps it is more accurate to say that it makes her stressed. She has a lot of homework (AAP Center) and finding the time to practice really creates a lot of genuine disstress for her. I asked a friend what they do and she said she just lies on her DD's practice sheet. Ugh. I would rather not go that route, not to mention DD is a compulsive rule follower and would probably explode if I tried to do that.

Anyone ever dropped strings? How does that work? And does it mean they can't do it next year if they decide to try again?

[Anonymous]

My 4th grader (also in AAP Center) almost dropped strings, but after a discussion with the strings teacher and the class teacher, DC decided to stick with it. If you have concerns about stress and homework load, I suggest emailing your classroom teacher to raise the issue. My own DC is feeling much better about things and I thank both the strings teacher and her classroom teacher for helping us through it all.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PP, I had not thought about e-mailing the classroom teacher about strings. And thanks for letting me know we are not the only people out there struggling with this!

What did you work out with the strings teacher? Or did just talking about it help your child?

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. I have a somewhat similar situation with my child and taking piano lessons. He practices about 2 minutes each morning before breakfast ... not really enough, but I let him leave it at that because I believe that if I insist on more practice, he will opt to just drop piano altogether. So he progresses slowly, but he progresses!! Just something to consider ... maybe shorter practice times could be negotiated with the teacher rather than drop it altogether.

At any rate, best wishes to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4th grader is really not liking strings. Perhaps it is more accurate to say that it makes her stressed. She has a lot of homework (AAP Center) and finding the time to practice really creates a lot of genuine disstress for her. I asked a friend what they do and she said she just lies on her DD's practice sheet. Ugh. I would rather not go that route, not to mention DD is a compulsive rule follower and would probably explode if I tried to do that.

Anyone ever dropped strings? How does that work? And does it mean they can't do it next year if they decide to try again?

Are you even allowed to drop strings? Pretty sure it's required at my kid's AAP Center.
DC doesn't practice much either, not due to stress over the amt. of homework, but just doesn't feel like doing it.
I fill in the practice sheet honestly.
Be interesting to see the grade next time.
(p.s. I want DC to like this instrument, so don't want to see them burned out on it - which is what I fear would happen if I insisted on even 20 minutes of practice every night).

[Anonymous]

OP here. I e-mailed the teacher who e-mailed the strings teacher. Her only suggestion was to do 11 minutes a night consistently (which we already do). The requirement is 74 minutes per week. I have been having her do the strings practice after her academic homework, but maybe that is a mistake. It would be better for her to do it before school, but DH manages before school stuff. Ugh. Will try to have him do that.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. 75 minutes, not 74. Sigh.

And strings is totally optional. Most kids in her class do strings, a couple do chorus. At least one kid does neither. In retrospect, I wish we had also done neither!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. 75 minutes, not 74. Sigh.

And strings is totally optional. Most kids in her class do strings, a couple do chorus. At least one kid does neither. In retrospect, I wish we had also done neither!

Not where we go. It's required. What subject could she take to substitute for strings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. 75 minutes, not 74. Sigh.

And strings is totally optional. Most kids in her class do strings, a couple do chorus. At least one kid does neither. In retrospect, I wish we had also done neither!

8:59 here. Thankfully the strings instructor just spoke with my DC and helped with managing expectations. It worked out well and DC is much happier.

And strings is optional at our AAP Center as well. The students in DC's class who are not in strings are working on a class newspaper while strings meets.

[Anonymous]

What subject could she take to substitute for strings?

If they don't have strings, they have "enrichment". It seems similar to what was called "strategies lab" at our base school. We had to sign a permission form to do strings, so it is certainly not required. They also have chorus. Kids who have strings have enrichment at the time the other kids have chorus. The kids in chorus have enrichment when the other kids have strings. The kid who does neither, she told me, has enrichment both days.

I want her to like strings and she was VERY excited to do it initially. But she had never taken an instrument before this year and I think she was unprepared for how hard it was for her and also how much homework she has this year, even on the weekends (long term projects). In contrast, she is taking private piano lessons and she ADORES piano and would practice that all day if I let her. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

I started violin in 4th grade and I can tell you it is one of the more difficulty instruments to learn. Both of my girls play as well -- one is self-motivated, the other is not,. I find the practice expectations for the younger kids very unrealistic. I think regular, but shorter, practices are much more effective,. It requires physical stamina (holding the bow and violin properly is not easy) and if they practice much longer, their form suffers and it becomes counterproductive.

As far as practice sheets and grades, I say who cares.. When they are in elementary school, their grades don't count. In fact, I don't even let my younger daughter see her grades because for me, I think they only motivate kids for the wrong reasons. Young kids should be motivated to learn because it is fun and they are curious, not because a teacher will give them an A. And I think the same holds true for instilling a love of music.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and one more thing to add to my previous post. Private lessons are really helpful. It's hard to learn strings in a group; not that it can't be done, but bad habits are picked up which are harder to correct later. I hired a college girl (music major) to come to my home for my children -- she is reasonably priced, and she is a good role model and inspiration to my children, which also helps to motivate them.

[Anonymous]

As far as practice sheets and grades, I say who cares..

OP here. PP, I completely agree with you. The problem is that SHE cares. She cares a LOT. I've told her it doesn't matter to us and all we want is for her to enjoy the instrument. But they went over in class the 75 minute requirement for an A and she wants to get an A. She fills out her practice sheets and adds them up each week, so she knows whether or not she did "enough" that week. If I had realized it would be like this, I would not have enrolled her. She has anxiety and is a worrier and very intense by nature (and yes, we are getting her help for this). But the irony there is that the help for this adds another tick in the column of things we have to do each week after school. Sigh.

The private lessons are a good idea, but again, that's just something else to add to our carefully managed weekly to do list. I also need to be careful about the mesage this sends to her. If I say I don't care about the grade, but at the same time hire what is essentially a private tutor for the instrument, then doesn't that say I really do care about the grade?

[Anonymous]

My daughter took private lessons for 1.5 years before starting violin at school in 4th grade this year and she had a rough start. At first she claimed she didn't like it and was unhappy about the practice expectation (especially since she has to practice music for both school and her private lessons now). But once she started to learn the music they are practicing for their performance and got used to playing with a group (completely different than playing alone), she started to enjoy it more.

Our strings is optional too - my daughter is in a more advanced group at school since she's got a little experience, so they pull her out of math - which was another consideration for us. When she was very unhappy at first, I told her to stick with it at least until December - so she could get in the swing of things - and if she was still unhappy, she could drop it. I explained to her that playing with a group was like being on a team sport - the others in her group were depending on her to practice and do a good job so they would sound good at their performance - and that if she wasn't committed to practice, I thought she should drop it.

A mother of an older daughter told me that she always put down the 30 minute class as "practice" on the practice log - so I do that. I also put down her 30 minute private lesson as practice, plus any practice she does for either class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If I say I don't care about the grade, but at the same time hire what is essentially a private tutor for the instrument, then doesn't that say I really do care about the grade?

I don't mean to offend you by this, but having a private teacher doesn't say anything about caring about grades. I have a private teacher for both my kids and I promise you, I am the least grade-conscious parent I know. I have the teacher because I want them to learn the instrument properly, which is hard to get in a group class, and I want them to be encouraged by a positive role model and learn to love music.

BTW, I think the anxiety your daughter shows and her focus on As at such an early age is really troubling. The reason why I have such an anti-grade philosophy with my kids is because I myself was that grade conscious child. I got perfect grades and lived in fear of doing something less than perfect. This not only inhiibited my learning and made for a very anxious child, but it contributed to my being a perfectionist and developing an eating disorder for many years. I don't want to be an alarmist, but the earlier issues like these are addressed, the better. IMHO, letting your daughter experience getting less than As, and realizing she is still a good person, worthy of love, and that the grades are not a measure of who she is or what she knows or how hard she tries is an important lesson to learn.