Why are women in their 30s considered old and men are not?

[Anonymous]

They’re washed up, old sea hags...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re washed up, old sea hags...

Haha. Of course.

In all seriousness, yes, fertility is an issue, but it does vary. Personally, I may have good genes because my mother was 39 and my father 42 when I was born, and there was no problem. All of the women in my family have had zero fertility problems at all ages. There are more cases of twins in my family than there have been with infertility. Not sure if that's related. Maybe we just all have a ton of eggs.

One can be a feminist and not ignore biology. There are tradeoffs to waiting. Yes, you may have more money and stability to raise a child but the odds are less in your favor for fertility.

Attractiveness though, I do think that varies a lot more. Even if statistics from that OKcupid survey or whatever indicate that men as a whole prefer 20 year olds...some choose to date them because they find them less "demanding" and more free-spirited and more open to something casual and not seeking a husband. Sometimes, yes, the younger women are more attractive. In my case though, being completely honest, I am more attractive at 30 than at 20. When I was 20, I had acne, I was eating crappy college dorm food, and I looked like a whole lot of dumb. Now, I'm thin and strong, with clear skin, more well-groomed, more confident, more elegant, and more natural as opposed to caked-on makeup and stupid fashion trends. I know I'm not the only one like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re washed up, old sea hags...

Haha. Of course.

In all seriousness, yes, fertility is an issue, but it does vary. Personally, I may have good genes because my mother was 39 and my father 42 when I was born, and there was no problem. All of the women in my family have had zero fertility problems at all ages. There are more cases of twins in my family than there have been with infertility. Not sure if that's related. Maybe we just all have a ton of eggs.

One can be a feminist and not ignore biology. There are tradeoffs to waiting. Yes, you may have more money and stability to raise a child but the odds are less in your favor for fertility.

Attractiveness though, I do think that varies a lot more. Even if statistics from that OKcupid survey or whatever indicate that men as a whole prefer 20 year olds...some choose to date them because they find them less "demanding" and more free-spirited and more open to something casual and not seeking a husband. Sometimes, yes, the younger women are more attractive. In my case though, being completely honest, I am more attractive at 30 than at 20. When I was 20, I had acne, I was eating crappy college dorm food, and I looked like a whole lot of dumb. Now, I'm thin and strong, with clear skin, more well-groomed, more confident, more elegant, and more natural as opposed to caked-on makeup and stupid fashion trends. I know I'm not the only one like this.

You at 20, had you actually taken care of yourself and put in the effort you put in now, would be better than your condition now looks-wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many women in the US don't age well. In their 20s, they could easily look 10 years older (think Janis Joplin who died at 27 looking like she was in her late 40s).

Please, she was a heavy drug user who probably didn't hit the gym.

Joplin used both meth and heroin heavily and drank heavily for several years before her death. If there is a combination that will age you, it's meth, heroin, and booze. I can't think of a worse combination for premature aging.

[Anonymous]

I’ll admit that my DH (43) has aged beautifully and is better looking now than he was 15 years ago. I know that’s not true for me. And this is a fairly common lament amongst my gfs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll admit that my DH (43) has aged beautifully and is better looking now than he was 15 years ago. I know that’s not true for me. And this is a fairly common lament amongst my gfs.

Is your DH a tall man with "presence?" My DH fits this profile and he keeps getting more and more attractive to other women. Whatever, I don't mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re washed up, old sea hags...

Haha. Of course.

In all seriousness, yes, fertility is an issue, but it does vary. Personally, I may have good genes because my mother was 39 and my father 42 when I was born, and there was no problem. All of the women in my family have had zero fertility problems at all ages. There are more cases of twins in my family than there have been with infertility. Not sure if that's related. Maybe we just all have a ton of eggs.

One can be a feminist and not ignore biology. There are tradeoffs to waiting. Yes, you may have more money and stability to raise a child but the odds are less in your favor for fertility.

Attractiveness though, I do think that varies a lot more. Even if statistics from that OKcupid survey or whatever indicate that men as a whole prefer 20 year olds...some choose to date them because they find them less "demanding" and more free-spirited and more open to something casual and not seeking a husband. Sometimes, yes, the younger women are more attractive. In my case though, being completely honest, I am more attractive at 30 than at 20. When I was 20, I had acne, I was eating crappy college dorm food, and I looked like a whole lot of dumb. Now, I'm thin and strong, with clear skin, more well-groomed, more confident, more elegant, and more natural as opposed to caked-on makeup and stupid fashion trends. I know I'm not the only one like this.

Men on OKCupid aren’t really a good representation of men in general. It’s a free site, so it tends to attract low-quality men. Most men I know in real life have zero interest in 20 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re washed up, old sea hags...

Haha. Of course.

In all seriousness, yes, fertility is an issue, but it does vary. Personally, I may have good genes because my mother was 39 and my father 42 when I was born, and there was no problem. All of the women in my family have had zero fertility problems at all ages. There are more cases of twins in my family than there have been with infertility. Not sure if that's related. Maybe we just all have a ton of eggs.

One can be a feminist and not ignore biology. There are tradeoffs to waiting. Yes, you may have more money and stability to raise a child but the odds are less in your favor for fertility.

Attractiveness though, I do think that varies a lot more. Even if statistics from that OKcupid survey or whatever indicate that men as a whole prefer 20 year olds...some choose to date them because they find them less "demanding" and more free-spirited and more open to something casual and not seeking a husband. Sometimes, yes, the younger women are more attractive. In my case though, being completely honest, I am more attractive at 30 than at 20. When I was 20, I had acne, I was eating crappy college dorm food, and I looked like a whole lot of dumb. Now, I'm thin and strong, with clear skin, more well-groomed, more confident, more elegant, and more natural as opposed to caked-on makeup and stupid fashion trends. I know I'm not the only one like this.

Men on OKCupid aren’t really a good representation of men in general. It’s a free site, so it tends to attract low-quality men. Most men I know in real life have zero interest in 20 year olds.

Also, this information was based on the time men spent looking at profiles. I don't think men spending a lot of time peeping at 19 year old's profiles compared to older women means that men want to date 19 year olds just like men watching porn doesn't mean men want to date porn stars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll admit that my DH (43) has aged beautifully and is better looking now than he was 15 years ago. I know that’s not true for me. And this is a fairly common lament amongst my gfs.

Is your DH a tall man with "presence?" My DH fits this profile and he keeps getting more and more attractive to other women. Whatever, I don't mind.

No. He's handsome, short (5'7"), trim, well dressed, and hilarious. Women have always looked at him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re washed up, old sea hags...

Haha. Of course.

In all seriousness, yes, fertility is an issue, but it does vary. Personally, I may have good genes because my mother was 39 and my father 42 when I was born, and there was no problem. All of the women in my family have had zero fertility problems at all ages. There are more cases of twins in my family than there have been with infertility. Not sure if that's related. Maybe we just all have a ton of eggs.

One can be a feminist and not ignore biology. There are tradeoffs to waiting. Yes, you may have more money and stability to raise a child but the odds are less in your favor for fertility.

Attractiveness though, I do think that varies a lot more. Even if statistics from that OKcupid survey or whatever indicate that men as a whole prefer 20 year olds...some choose to date them because they find them less "demanding" and more free-spirited and more open to something casual and not seeking a husband. Sometimes, yes, the younger women are more attractive. In my case though, being completely honest, I am more attractive at 30 than at 20. When I was 20, I had acne, I was eating crappy college dorm food, and I looked like a whole lot of dumb. Now, I'm thin and strong, with clear skin, more well-groomed, more confident, more elegant, and more natural as opposed to caked-on makeup and stupid fashion trends. I know I'm not the only one like this.

You at 20, had you actually taken care of yourself and put in the effort you put in now, would be better than your condition now looks-wise.

Hard to say. We are are product of our surroundings, and a lot of other 20 year olds around me could be described similarly. Some people just peak differently. For the record, I was never overweight from my food choices, but I definitely eat healthier while independent and earning my own money. I'm about 5 lbs thinner but also more muscular, for whatever that's worth.
Who knows when each person's looks would "peak" under ideal circumstances but in the real world, many 20 year olds DO look like a whole lot of dumb. They are more likely to try out silly trends that don't work, or to eat college dorm food, to live and dress on extremely low budgets, to pull all-nighters for exams, to go out drinking and partying. Maybe in our late 20s people diverge...some take better care of themselves, some are worse and give up. It depends on what you want in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re washed up, old sea hags...

Haha. Of course.

In all seriousness, yes, fertility is an issue, but it does vary. Personally, I may have good genes because my mother was 39 and my father 42 when I was born, and there was no problem. All of the women in my family have had zero fertility problems at all ages. There are more cases of twins in my family than there have been with infertility. Not sure if that's related. Maybe we just all have a ton of eggs.

One can be a feminist and not ignore biology. There are tradeoffs to waiting. Yes, you may have more money and stability to raise a child but the odds are less in your favor for fertility.

Attractiveness though, I do think that varies a lot more. Even if statistics from that OKcupid survey or whatever indicate that men as a whole prefer 20 year olds...some choose to date them because they find them less "demanding" and more free-spirited and more open to something casual and not seeking a husband. Sometimes, yes, the younger women are more attractive. In my case though, being completely honest, I am more attractive at 30 than at 20. When I was 20, I had acne, I was eating crappy college dorm food, and I looked like a whole lot of dumb. Now, I'm thin and strong, with clear skin, more well-groomed, more confident, more elegant, and more natural as opposed to caked-on makeup and stupid fashion trends. I know I'm not the only one like this.

You at 20, had you actually taken care of yourself and put in the effort you put in now, would be better than your condition now looks-wise.

Eh, that goes both ways. A man in his 20s with money and a six pack is hotter than a man in his 50s with money and a six pack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Eh, that goes both ways. A man in his 20s with money and a six pack is hotter than a man in his 50s with money and a six pack.

I disagree. A man in his 20s with money and a six pack probably came by it easily and has a lot of time to let it go to his head and lose it all.

A man in his 50s with money and six pack probably worked hard for it and is more likely to keep it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Eh, that goes both ways. A man in his 20s with money and a six pack is hotter than a man in his 50s with money and a six pack.

I disagree. A man in his 20s with money and a six pack probably came by it easily and has a lot of time to let it go to his head and lose it all.

A man in his 50s with money and six pack probably worked hard for it and is more likely to keep it.

This is sort of a moot point...How many of the latter group are there out there who are single and don't have serious baggage, though?

[Anonymous]

Who thinks anyone in their thirties is “old”?

Better question: who has time to think about these things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a guy is single in his thirties people usually say oh he is waiting for the right girl and taking his time and being responsible. If a woman is 30+ and single she's too old and a spinster.

Remind me, why again?

Is it the fertility thing? But with modern medicine and good nutrition and health most women can conceive for as late as late thirties.

Don't worry baby, I'll still sleep with you and whisper how young and pretty you are in your ear after.