Is frugality in a high-earning woman a green flag or a red flag?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not tipping is an instant deal breaker for me. This person sounds cheap rather than frugal.

She does not go out to eat, prioritizing her health and wallet. So, she does not need to tip. Good for her. All financial gurus would praise her. Warren Buffett would admire her.

Lol. Sure. Sure he would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about someone who is a lawyer and makes very good money, but:

* never tips or donates
* almost never eats out, and if she does it’s always the cheapest place or the cheapest thing on the menu
* avoids things like concerts, sporting events, festivals, shows, spas, etc. because she it’s as a waste of money
* doesn’t spend money on entertainment, events, gifts, Ubers, clothes, etc.
* hates paying for convenience (delivery fees, checked bags, valet, subscriptions, etc.)
* travels a few times a year but always very cheaply (budget airlines/basic hotels/red-eyes/points deals)
* researches everything and buys the cheapest/highest-quality version of literally everything from toothpaste to furniture
* can’t fathom spending $200 on a dress or $2000 on coat

Would men see this as financially responsible and disciplined, or as overly cheap/miserly? Especially in dating, does this kind of mindset help or hurt?

Provided she's otherwise kind and beautiful, the only thing that would bother me is the not tipping. Treating people poorly in the service world - whether restaurants or retail or whatever - is an immediate out. Don't care for such people. The entitlement, the casual cruelty, etc... no thanks. But otherwise have no problem with being cheap as long as they have joy and happiness in their lives and aren't stewing in misery and denial.

Spoiler: she’s not.

Women here are so odd/bitter.. I don’t know if it’s the ultra liberal feminist DC culture or just delusion, but some of you sound insane.
‘Yes, a frugal low maintenance girl can still be hot and beautiful. Just because you spend thousands at the hair salon and on appearances and think that’s why men choose you doesn’t mean you’re right. Beauty isn’t created at the salon, it’s natural.

Same thing with SAHMs and career women. Just because you’re smart and have a career doesn’t mean women who aren’t career oriented or super ambitious can’t land a guy.
A lot of you lie to yourselves to protect your ego and make yourselves feel better about your own choices.

Beauty nowadays is an assets that’s 99% created in salon and a gym.

And at the orthodontist. Let's not forget that expense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about someone who is a lawyer and makes very good money, but:

* never tips or donates
* almost never eats out, and if she does it’s always the cheapest place or the cheapest thing on the menu
* avoids things like concerts, sporting events, festivals, shows, spas, etc. because she it’s as a waste of money
* doesn’t spend money on entertainment, events, gifts, Ubers, clothes, etc.
* hates paying for convenience (delivery fees, checked bags, valet, subscriptions, etc.)
* travels a few times a year but always very cheaply (budget airlines/basic hotels/red-eyes/points deals)
* researches everything and buys the cheapest/highest-quality version of literally everything from toothpaste to furniture
* can’t fathom spending $200 on a dress or $2000 on coat

Would men see this as financially responsible and disciplined, or as overly cheap/miserly? Especially in dating, does this kind of mindset help or hurt?

Provided she's otherwise kind and beautiful, the only thing that would bother me is the not tipping. Treating people poorly in the service world - whether restaurants or retail or whatever - is an immediate out. Don't care for such people. The entitlement, the casual cruelty, etc... no thanks. But otherwise have no problem with being cheap as long as they have joy and happiness in their lives and aren't stewing in misery and denial.

Spoiler: she’s not.

Women here are so odd/bitter.. I don’t know if it’s the ultra liberal feminist DC culture or just delusion, but some of you sound insane.
‘Yes, a frugal low maintenance girl can still be hot and beautiful. Just because you spend thousands at the hair salon and on appearances and think that’s why men choose you doesn’t mean you’re right. Beauty isn’t created at the salon, it’s natural.

Same thing with SAHMs and career women. Just because you’re smart and have a career doesn’t mean women who aren’t career oriented or super ambitious can’t land a guy.
A lot of you lie to yourselves to protect your ego and make yourselves feel better about your own choices.

Beauty nowadays is an assets that’s 99% created in salon and a gym.

If that’s the case, they weren’t beautiful to begin with. I know tons of women who are naturally beautiful without going to the salon.

lol, fool, most men are too clueless to know the difference.

I’m a man and not clueless as to whether someone has nails or makeup on and most men aren’t. Men prefer natural women, get over it.

Lol. You just prefer someone who doesn't look like RuPaul. And nasty unfiled nails? Gross.

[Anonymous]

Not tipping isn't frugal. It's stingy and mean spirited, a deal breaker in a potential friend, much less a life partner.

[Anonymous]

This is cheap and miserly. Not tipping or donating is a definite red flag. Also, they sound boring and unable to derive pleasure from life for not attending concerts or going for a good meal. In short, they have psychological issues.

-signed someone who grew up poor and is thrifty but never was gross and tacky enough to not tip or donate

[Anonymous]

Not tipping or grossly undertipping (eg 5%) in a US restaurant is an immediate deal breaker. A lack of consideration and respect for others carries over into everything and it also means they don’t give a crap about anyone but themselves.

I this case all of those things out together means she’s got “issues” and you can’t rescue her. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as she is not MAGA.
And she is hot, well educated, high earner, frugal, does not suffer wasteful fools gladly and is not materialistic herself… she is prime WIFEY material.

All shades of Green Flag. She is the entire golf course. No no, she is the entire Amazon jungle!!!

These are contradictory. Being hot as a woman means investing heavily into your appearance. Gym memberships, healthy food, cosmetics, hair, clothes, etc all cost money.

Some women are naturally hot without all of this. There are many poor women very hot and beautiful.

I live in a poor area with many beautiful women. They *do* spend their money on their looks. They just may get drugstore makeup instead on at Sephora, or do their own lashes rather than get them done. But they still spend money on it, and often it’s money they don’t really have.

This reminds me of the natural makeup thing. Men say they don’t like makeup, but they do. They just want “natural”, not realizing that looking naturally beautiful is just as much effort and money as looking obviously made-up. Often even more money and effort.

When men say that want "natural," they mean they don't like an overdone makeup look. And the overdone makeup look is generally just women who are not very good at makeup but inclined to use it.

I do annual PRP on my face, light fillers, have underboobs implants, had a liposuction and wore veneers in childhood. Men always compliment my natural beauty I can go out without any makeup now haha

[Anonymous]

Being frugal and not spending money on oneself is a perfectly fine choice and is in many ways a virtue. However, in relationship terms, it is more important to judge the compatibility of priorities than the trait in isolation. However admirable frugality may be, if the partner thinks that the purpose of money is to be spent, that will be a strain on their relationship.

Not tipping at all is another issue, that I wouldn’t characterize as “frugality”. It is widely understood that tipping is part of the cost of service. While clearly it has gotten out of control lately with apps, if a waiter/waitress provides you good service throughout a meal and you tip them nothing, that isn’t frugality, it’s stiffing someone on payment. If you’re too frugal to tip, then you should pick an option where tipping isn’t expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as she is not MAGA.
And she is hot, well educated, high earner, frugal, does not suffer wasteful fools gladly and is not materialistic herself… she is prime WIFEY material.

All shades of Green Flag. She is the entire golf course. No no, she is the entire Amazon jungle!!!

These are contradictory. Being hot as a woman means investing heavily into your appearance. Gym memberships, healthy food, cosmetics, hair, clothes, etc all cost money.

Some women are naturally hot without all of this. There are many poor women very hot and beautiful.

I live in a poor area with many beautiful women. They *do* spend their money on their looks. They just may get drugstore makeup instead on at Sephora, or do their own lashes rather than get them done. But they still spend money on it, and often it’s money they don’t really have.

This reminds me of the natural makeup thing. Men say they don’t like makeup, but they do. They just want “natural”, not realizing that looking naturally beautiful is just as much effort and money as looking obviously made-up. Often even more money and effort.

When men say that want "natural," they mean they don't like an overdone makeup look. And the overdone makeup look is generally just women who are not very good at makeup but inclined to use it.

I do annual PRP on my face, light fillers, have underboobs implants, had a liposuction and wore veneers in childhood. Men always compliment my natural beauty I can go out without any makeup now haha

Damn. I don't even know what all of those are lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as she is not MAGA.
And she is hot, well educated, high earner, frugal, does not suffer wasteful fools gladly and is not materialistic herself… she is prime WIFEY material.

All shades of Green Flag. She is the entire golf course. No no, she is the entire Amazon jungle!!!

These are contradictory. Being hot as a woman means investing heavily into your appearance. Gym memberships, healthy food, cosmetics, hair, clothes, etc all cost money.

Some women are naturally hot without all of this. There are many poor women very hot and beautiful.

I live in a poor area with many beautiful women. They *do* spend their money on their looks. They just may get drugstore makeup instead on at Sephora, or do their own lashes rather than get them done. But they still spend money on it, and often it’s money they don’t really have.

This reminds me of the natural makeup thing. Men say they don’t like makeup, but they do. They just want “natural”, not realizing that looking naturally beautiful is just as much effort and money as looking obviously made-up. Often even more money and effort.

When men say that want "natural," they mean they don't like an overdone makeup look. And the overdone makeup look is generally just women who are not very good at makeup but inclined to use it.

I do annual PRP on my face, light fillers, have underboobs implants, had a liposuction and wore veneers in childhood. Men always compliment my natural beauty I can go out without any makeup now haha

Damn. I don't even know what all of those are lol.

And you’ll never know. Because obviously we are all natural, rare beauties

[Anonymous]

Miserly. I dated a guy whose mom had a net worth of $30 million. I’m not sure why he told me this on the second or third date.

The family was extremely miserly.

Anytime you went out they complained about the price of the Coca-Cola. It was kind of miserable to be out with them in a restaurant because they were always complaining about the price of the Coca-Cola.

They also had about 12 seasonal sporting event tickets that the Dad had been buying for years. Sadly, most times the seats were empty. I thought it was very sad that they never invited any of their employees to go to the games.

[Anonymous]

I personally think it is very rude to NEVER tip for service - - because there are some services that the employees depend on tips to pay their own bills so if someone dined out yet always stiffed the wait staff I would take that as a huge red flag.

Perhaps this woman grew up poor and lives w/the reasonable fear that she doesn’t want to end up that way again.

[Anonymous]

Like the answer to most of these types of questions (e.g., would men/women like x,y or z), some would and some wouldn't. You can only date/marry one person so what's gained by doing a poll of a non-random sample of internet randos?

For me, the no tipping, no donating would be red flags and unwillingness to spend money on concerts, eating out, shows, and sporting events would be signs of incompatibility as those are things I like to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This person sounds cheap and no fun.

This.
No tipping is horrible, all the rest is just being needlessly cheap. As for the dress being too expensive at $200, what kind of law firm employs her, the ambulance chasers? Most reputable firms want their employees to look presentable, and you can't show up at work in a dress from Walmart.

Who really cares about what you wear as long as it's clean? This isn't a fashion show. If you choose your lawyers based on the designer clothes they have on, then you're a pretty shallow person. I don't mind how people dress as long as they look clean.

Then you know nothing about the sales of high end services, such as with law firms. In most contexts, the standards for appearance are going to exceed "clean."

BS. That was in 1900

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about someone who is a lawyer and makes very good money, but:

* never tips or donates
* almost never eats out, and if she does it’s always the cheapest place or the cheapest thing on the menu
* avoids things like concerts, sporting events, festivals, shows, spas, etc. because she it’s as a waste of money
* doesn’t spend money on entertainment, events, gifts, Ubers, clothes, etc.
* hates paying for convenience (delivery fees, checked bags, valet, subscriptions, etc.)
* travels a few times a year but always very cheaply (budget airlines/basic hotels/red-eyes/points deals)
* researches everything and buys the cheapest/highest-quality version of literally everything from toothpaste to furniture
* can’t fathom spending $200 on a dress or $2000 on coat

Would men see this as financially responsible and disciplined, or as overly cheap/miserly? Especially in dating, does this kind of mindset help or hurt?

Provided she's otherwise kind and beautiful, the only thing that would bother me is the not tipping. Treating people poorly in the service world - whether restaurants or retail or whatever - is an immediate out. Don't care for such people. The entitlement, the casual cruelty, etc... no thanks. But otherwise have no problem with being cheap as long as they have joy and happiness in their lives and aren't stewing in misery and denial.

Spoiler: she’s not.

Women here are so odd/bitter.. I don’t know if it’s the ultra liberal feminist DC culture or just delusion, but some of you sound insane.
‘Yes, a frugal low maintenance girl can still be hot and beautiful. Just because you spend thousands at the hair salon and on appearances and think that’s why men choose you doesn’t mean you’re right. Beauty isn’t created at the salon, it’s natural.

Same thing with SAHMs and career women. Just because you’re smart and have a career doesn’t mean women who aren’t career oriented or super ambitious can’t land a guy.
A lot of you lie to yourselves to protect your ego and make yourselves feel better about your own choices.

Beauty nowadays is an assets that’s 99% created in salon and a gym.

Only old and ugly women would say this.