Ex says I’m ‘taking’ DD - she’s almost 18 and choosing to stay here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[

It’s very easy for a parent to alienate their kids kids from another.

If I suspected parental alienation, I would talk to the child to understand what may be happening and possibly take them to therapy to have a therapist help them cope with a difficult parent or see the sutiation differently. I would not automatically assume parental alienation without evidence. I would also self reflect on my own parenting and how to make changes to improve the relationship. There are lots of parenting resources out there.

As for the financial support, it is almost a given that children do not appreciate it until they are older. We give out of love for our children, not for the expectation of anything in return.

My kids appreciate it. What happened in your home that they don’t? If my kids refused contact we would not pay for college. They are grown. If they make a no contact choice that includes money. My parents try to control me with money. I decline ever. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My kids appreciate it. What happened in your home that they don’t? If my kids refused contact we would not pay for college. They are grown. If they make a no contact choice that includes money. My parents try to control me with money. I decline ever. Simple.

Conditional vs unconditional love

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My kids appreciate it. What happened in your home that they don’t? If my kids refused contact we would not pay for college. They are grown. If they make a no contact choice that includes money. My parents try to control me with money. I decline ever. Simple.

I hope you realize that you doing the same thing to your kids that your parents did to you, except with different conditions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[

It’s very easy for a parent to alienate their kids kids from another.

If I suspected parental alienation, I would talk to the child to understand what may be happening and possibly take them to therapy to have a therapist help them cope with a difficult parent or see the sutiation differently. I would not automatically assume parental alienation without evidence. I would also self reflect on my own parenting and how to make changes to improve the relationship. There are lots of parenting resources out there.

As for the financial support, it is almost a given that children do not appreciate it until they are older. We give out of love for our children, not for the expectation of anything in return.

My kids appreciate it. What happened in your home that they don’t? If my kids refused contact we would not pay for college. They are grown. If they make a no contact choice that includes money. My parents try to control me with money. I decline ever. Simple.

Thats nice, as long as you haven’t agreed to a legal settlement which requires you to pay for college. Then your kids can do as they like and you’re still on the hook no matter how much you hate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My kids appreciate it. What happened in your home that they don’t? If my kids refused contact we would not pay for college. They are grown. If they make a no contact choice that includes money. My parents try to control me with money. I decline ever. Simple.

I hope you realize that you doing the same thing to your kids that your parents did to you, except with different conditions.

No, having basic expectations is reasonable. You cannot terminate a relationship and expect someone to financially support you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[

It’s very easy for a parent to alienate their kids kids from another.

If I suspected parental alienation, I would talk to the child to understand what may be happening and possibly take them to therapy to have a therapist help them cope with a difficult parent or see the sutiation differently. I would not automatically assume parental alienation without evidence. I would also self reflect on my own parenting and how to make changes to improve the relationship. There are lots of parenting resources out there.

As for the financial support, it is almost a given that children do not appreciate it until they are older. We give out of love for our children, not for the expectation of anything in return.

My kids appreciate it. What happened in your home that they don’t

If my kids refused contact we would not pay for college. They are grown. If they make a no contact choice that includes money. My parents try to control me with money. I decline ever. Simple.

Thats nice, as long as you haven’t agreed to a legal settlement which requires you to pay for college. Then your kids can do as they like and you’re still on the hook no matter how much you hate it.

Or, you go back to court for alienation. Why would you want money from someone that bad? If you are grown enough to terminate a relationship you are grown enough to financially support yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My kids appreciate it. What happened in your home that they don’t? If my kids refused contact we would not pay for college. They are grown. If they make a no contact choice that includes money. My parents try to control me with money. I decline ever. Simple.

Conditional vs unconditional love

So, if your kid stops all contact you still pay for everything? Oh wait, you pay for nothing as the child support and extras do….better be nice to your ex or get a better job.

[Anonymous]

I am not seeing kids “terminating a relationship.” What it seems like are kids who are growing up and asserting more autonomy, which is a normal part of child development. They don’t want to spend as much time or spend weekends commuting anymore, but that doesn’t mean that they no longer want a relationship.

Tying funding for their future like college based on the number of hours they spend in your home seems more about control then helping your child be successful in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My kids appreciate it. What happened in your home that they don’t? If my kids refused contact we would not pay for college. They are grown. If they make a no contact choice that includes money. My parents try to control me with money. I decline ever. Simple.

Conditional vs unconditional love

So, if your kid stops all contact you still pay for everything? Oh wait, you pay for nothing as the child support and extras do….better be nice to your ex or get a better job.

YES!!! You brought them into this world. You are responsible for them, you deadbeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[

It’s very easy for a parent to alienate their kids kids from another.

If I suspected parental alienation, I would talk to the child to understand what may be happening and possibly take them to therapy to have a therapist help them cope with a difficult parent or see the sutiation differently. I would not automatically assume parental alienation without evidence. I would also self reflect on my own parenting and how to make changes to improve the relationship. There are lots of parenting resources out there.

As for the financial support, it is almost a given that children do not appreciate it until they are older. We give out of love for our children, not for the expectation of anything in return.

My kids appreciate it. What happened in your home that they don’t

If my kids refused contact we would not pay for college. They are grown. If they make a no contact choice that includes money. My parents try to control me with money. I decline ever. Simple.

Thats nice, as long as you haven’t agreed to a legal settlement which requires you to pay for college. Then your kids can do as they like and you’re still on the hook no matter how much you hate it.

Or, you go back to court for alienation. Why would you want money from someone that bad? If you are grown enough to terminate a relationship you are grown enough to financially support yourself.

Good luck with that. By the time you’re at college age, the children have a narrative of their own that the judge is just as interested in as your petty, cheap excuses for why you should be off the hook…