Hosted a playdate. Kid repeatedly asked dd to open one of her new bday gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Lesson learned. Put gifts away.
Also this will teach your child to say no
If this child was hungry .. offer snacks

Be nice ..They’re kids.

OP had offered 4 snacks. The kid was pestering her for junk food that hadn’t been offered.

So what. They’re kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems normal. You, on the other hand, don't know how to manage children.

Not all kids react to boundaries in the same way. Mine always doubled down when the answer was no. He’d ask in a different way or give a similar option. He was and still is persistent. It’s a slightly annoying quality when they’re younger because they tend to be tiring for the person in charge but it gets them far in life.

The answer in your case would be a no and then you disengage and walk away. “We have popcorn or chips. Which one would you like?” If the kid asks for something else, restate the options and if they don’t pick one, tell them to let you know if they decide they’d like one of those options and then disengage. Leave the room if necessary.

This is a lot to ask of a host. You are asking them to parent your kid. If your kid is that pushy with another adult and you haven’t taught them to rein it in as a guest then they will get fewer invites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems normal. You, on the other hand, don't know how to manage children.

Not all kids react to boundaries in the same way. Mine always doubled down when the answer was no. He’d ask in a different way or give a similar option. He was and still is persistent. It’s a slightly annoying quality when they’re younger because they tend to be tiring for the person in charge but it gets them far in life.

The answer in your case would be a no and then you disengage and walk away. “We have popcorn or chips. Which one would you like?” If the kid asks for something else, restate the options and if they don’t pick one, tell them to let you know if they decide they’d like one of those options and then disengage. Leave the room if necessary.

This is a lot to ask of a host. You are asking them to parent your kid. If your kid is that pushy with another adult and you haven’t taught them to rein it in as a guest then they will get fewer invites.

That’s fine. I would prefer that my kid be friends with families that understand some basics about kids and don’t judge or gossip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid sounds pushy. Tell your kid how to say, “I already said I don’t want to. Stop asking me.” And model for your child by telling Pushy, “Pushy, I’ve given you a few snacks. We’re not doing chips or cookies, but you can have X or Y now.”

This kid will grow up to ask other parents for rides for their kids without reciprocating.

This is a CHILD who was invited on a play date. She doesn’t need to reciprocate on the play date. So many rigid, controlling parents.

As moms, we tell our girls to ask for what they want and to be direct and then when they do we as moms get angry at them? ‘How dare they ask to play with a toy and for a cookie?’ No, how dare you host play dates if you can’t handle a child expressing preferences that don’t align with the unwritten rules you think they should follow.

And to extrapolate to this 8 year old child being a parent who doesn’t reciprocate carpools because she asked for a cookie is extremely weird and highlights your issues.

You can ask once. Then you must respect the answer you're given. A toy and a cookie are not needs. These are not civil rights. Your child isn't some brave revolutionary.