When someone tells you they are not available ever

[Anonymous]

After writing it out, I can very easily see that my friend is going through a lot and it has nothing to do with me or my kids. She is dealing with some serious family problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is so entertaining. She's like a gossipy old lady who lets every thought that enters her head just stream out her mouth...

"Oh Susan's children are just so difficult. She has a children problem. Our children are going in different directions. Oh offer to watch them? Hm. One time I watched one of them cling to his mother. The husband didn't help. That Ryan. Oh Susan has a husband problem. I'll just leave her to it. She can reach out to me in the New Year. But first I'll NOT invite her to my husband's birtheday but then I will invite her to Christmas. But really, Susan just needs to reach out to me. She has so many problems. "

I don’t say this out loud. I’m only writing this on an anonymous forum.

I was just venting to DH how he and his friends can just be friends and not care about kids. My friends seem so in the thick of kids, they can’t separate.

Her kids are really struggling. I may be accused of burying the lede but one of their kids was so upset that he threatened to shoot down the school.

Dude. Your friend has a kid in crisis and you mentally were mad she doesn't want to commit to some random mom activity on a certain date? What is wrong with you, seriously. What kind of friend are you being to her by even thinking this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is so entertaining. She's like a gossipy old lady who lets every thought that enters her head just stream out her mouth...

"Oh Susan's children are just so difficult. She has a children problem. Our children are going in different directions. Oh offer to watch them? Hm. One time I watched one of them cling to his mother. The husband didn't help. That Ryan. Oh Susan has a husband problem. I'll just leave her to it. She can reach out to me in the New Year. But first I'll NOT invite her to my husband's birtheday but then I will invite her to Christmas. But really, Susan just needs to reach out to me. She has so many problems. "

I don’t say this out loud. I’m only writing this on an anonymous forum.

I was just venting to DH how he and his friends can just be friends and not care about kids. My friends seem so in the thick of kids, they can’t separate.

Her kids are really struggling. I may be accused of burying the lede but one of their kids was so upset that he threatened to shoot down the school.

Dude. Your friend has a kid in crisis and you mentally were mad she doesn't want to commit to some random mom activity on a certain date? What is wrong with you, seriously. What kind of friend are you being to her by even thinking this?

+1. You were venting to your husband about her not making time for you when her child threatened to shoot down the school?

I hope you’re a troll. No one can be this self-centered or clueless.

If you feel bad, try to explore why. Try to explore how she must feel. Becoming a more understanding person will help you be and make better friends.

[Anonymous]

It's now abundantly clear that OP is a troll. Bye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is so entertaining. She's like a gossipy old lady who lets every thought that enters her head just stream out her mouth...

"Oh Susan's children are just so difficult. She has a children problem. Our children are going in different directions. Oh offer to watch them? Hm. One time I watched one of them cling to his mother. The husband didn't help. That Ryan. Oh Susan has a husband problem. I'll just leave her to it. She can reach out to me in the New Year. But first I'll NOT invite her to my husband's birtheday but then I will invite her to Christmas. But really, Susan just needs to reach out to me. She has so many problems. "

I don’t say this out loud. I’m only writing this on an anonymous forum.

I was just venting to DH how he and his friends can just be friends and not care about kids. My friends seem so in the thick of kids, they can’t separate.

Her kids are really struggling. I may be accused of burying the lede but one of their kids was so upset that he threatened to shoot down the school.

Dude. Your friend has a kid in crisis and you mentally were mad she doesn't want to commit to some random mom activity on a certain date? What is wrong with you, seriously. What kind of friend are you being to her by even thinking this?

+1. You were venting to your husband about her not making time for you when her child threatened to shoot down the school?

I hope you’re a troll. No one can be this self-centered or clueless.

If you feel bad, try to explore why. Try to explore how she must feel. Becoming a more understanding person will help you be and make better friends.

The shooting comment happened months ago and we have seen friend several times since that incident. I know how terrible this must sound but their kids are always fighting and angry that I didn’t even think the shooting comment was that big of a deal.

That is only one of their kids. The other two struggle differently. I won’t share how. I’m sure all their struggles make life difficult for my friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's now abundantly clear that OP is a troll. Bye.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are 6 weeks and a few days left in 2025 and probably 4 of the weeks are centered on holiday celebrations. It is not unreasonable at all that someone doesn't have any more availabilty in 2025, OP!

You need a new calendar.

😂😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op again. The husband is friends with my husband. At the last party they attended at my house, I sent Evite to both my friend and her husband and the husband RSVPd almost immediately. My friend did not know and was surprised. Another time DH reached out for my friend’s husband’s birthday and we went on a double date.

With all of this it sounds like you’re right, she doesn’t like you, but he likes your husband.

I was not the initiator of the last round of plans. Our mutual friend wanted to host our friend group for a holiday gathering. That friend said she is not available ever.

I had a holiday party last year and they came. It was via Evite. That was the party that the husband RSVPd to.

We did get invited and attended their child’s birthday party a few months ago. My husband took our child as I want unavailable.

You are exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am LOVING that OP is clearly explaining and illustrating exactly why people don't want to deal with her, but the only person who cannot see it is OP herself.

.

+1

[Anonymous]

Your poor friend. It’s pretty obviously not about activities or commitments right? She’s just not going to be able to do what you want right now. I would definitely give her some space and maybe send some funny gifs or something over the next couple months to keep the door open. She is probably going through it big time and doesn’t want to explain it to you because 1) you seem a little holier than thou and 2) your husbands work in the same field so she doesn’t want to burn any bridges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After writing it out, I can very easily see that my friend is going through a lot and it has nothing to do with me or my kids. She is dealing with some serious family problems.

OP, if this is all real and you are not trolling, you are sharing toooo much info about yourself and other people. If I had a “friend” like you, I would immediately close my mouth anytime I saw you. What you are writing is team too much. Maybe she realizes this and is starting ghost phase 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After writing it out, I can very easily see that my friend is going through a lot and it has nothing to do with me or my kids. She is dealing with some serious family problems.

OP, if this is all real and you are not trolling, you are sharing toooo much info about yourself and other people. If I had a “friend” like you, I would immediately close my mouth anytime I saw you. What you are writing is team too much. Maybe she realizes this and is starting ghost phase 1.

I never say anything negative about their children to others. I’m only now realizing that our kids are not friends and probably never were. I can’t even say the kids drifted apart. Besides being in the same class, they were never friends. We have 3 kids each and we always had one kid in same class together but not this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op again. The husband is friends with my husband. At the last party they attended at my house, I sent Evite to both my friend and her husband and the husband RSVPd almost immediately. My friend did not know and was surprised. Another time DH reached out for my friend’s husband’s birthday and we went on a double date.

I have a friend whose husband is clueless and will absolutely RSVP yes for things when they have other plans because it would never occur to him to check their calendar or ask her before accepting an invitation. Either this husband is like that or she doesn't like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am a person whose calendar is now completely booked till Jan 10th, 2026. Then I am unavailable from 1st Feb to 10th April.

I have many friends who are super busy with family, social obligations, travel, medical treatments...and we all are empty nesters in our 50s and 60s.

My unavailability should not inconvenience anyone. It is what it is.

I am so curious about this. Can you share what you are doing each weekend (in a general sense?)

Not PP but this coming weekend is our last free one of 2025. After that we have:
- brewery day with adult friends
- out of town for sports event
- out of town with college girlfriends
- birthday parties Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (for kids)
- Thanksgiving weekend, out of town
- hosting holiday brunch at our house
- husband out of town with college guy friends
- weekends of Christmas break, so lots of activities
- adult birthday party (first weekend in January)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s just not that into you. You are probably annoying, giving off the vibe of “I’m busier than you, my husband is more successful, my kids smarter and better looking and talented”. Or maybe your politics are rubbing her the wrong way. There are a million ways to annoy other people. Better to just move on.

I absolutely do not give off the I’m better than you vibe. I do have three easy children. At the last gathering with the other friend trying to get together, our friend’s three children were violently upset. The kids are always fighting and upset. At the last school event, she was there with our three children. My kids were having a great time. I sat with friend. Her kids were fighting the entire time. They were not fighting with my kids.

We have been family friends since preschool. Our kids went to the same preschool and now attend the same elementary school.

If you can't see the judgmental tone you give off when you describe this woman I don't think anyone here can help you. Honestly, just let her say no and leave her alone.