Who Is Most Out Of Bounds Here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Who covered up what when isn't the trump card some seen to think it is. "Outing" likely hurt the cheater's family and caused public humiliation for them. That wasn't a precision strike, OP and Daddy Bear. The innocent family were your collateral damage.
You will now have that reputation among anyone who saw your "righteous anger" post and anyone they told.

You blew up the family 's private life.

No.

The cheater blew up his families life. The cheater hurt his family and caused humiliation. If one person knew about his romp it's likely that other people knew. That is absolutely humiliating for his wife and children. Why do you chose to shoot the messenger instead of the f##ked up cheater himself?

Dave chose to cheat, Dave blew up his own family.

Dave's wife and children deserve to deal with Dave's shitty behavior in private and not online as dictated by OP's DH. That's the part you don't get. No one is saying Dave is the good guy. But there are people here who presumably did nothing wrong having to deal with DAve's f-up's in the most public way. There are no good guys in this story.

At least his wife and family KNOW now, and can START to deal with it.

How do you know the wife didn't already know and chose to keep things private and work it out with her husband? WHo is OP's husband to decide the terms on how they deal with it?

How is he deciding how they deal with it? They can deal with it however they want. If the wife knows, why is she calling OP 300x? Do you not have any empathy for someone who's been cheated on and lied to? Why so many cheater apologists on here?

By making them/her deal with it in such a public way. She didn't deserve to be cheated on, she didn't deserve to be humiliated in front of all of their friends. Their children especially don't deserve any of it. Who the F is making apologies for a cheater? You are very small minded and borderline evil.

If you cheat, you can expect your wife and children find out and for them to know that everybody in their orbit knows whether they find out on Facebook or they find out on the sidelines of a soccer game or they find out through an anonymous email. the reality is everybody knows. And the wife is humiliated by the cheater

Yeah and his children now deserve to be asked about it at school and at church or wherever else they go. You are despicable.

You really have an issue with this. Did it happen to you? You know, maybe Dave shouldn’t be on social media. Maybe he shouldn’t have cheated. Maybe the kids learn resilience and the fact that they are not their Father’s mistakes at a young age.

You are disgusting.

You’re a cheater apologist. Do you want to protect all cheaters because you’re either an affair partner or you’re a cheater?

You’re the one hurting your family not the one who narcs on you

OH the narc poster!!! Now it all makes sense. You went apeshit in another thread today that had to be locked because of you. Please go seek mental help. You are having a mental breakdown. You are not well.

Actually, pp is using narc in a completely different variation here. They are not referring to narcissists, but someone outing the wrong. Good lord, keep up please.

Nope, she is just unhinged in this thread as she was in the previous one. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/195/1209149.page

Same writing and everything. She is not well.

I was in that thread. It may be the same poster, but they are not using the word the same way. Words can have multiple meanings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who covered up what when isn't the trump card some seen to think it is. "Outing" likely hurt the cheater's family and caused public humiliation for them. That wasn't a precision strike, OP and Daddy Bear. The innocent family were your collateral damage.
You will now have that reputation among anyone who saw your "righteous anger" post and anyone they told.

You blew up the family 's private life.

No.

The cheater blew up his families life. The cheater hurt his family and caused humiliation. If one person knew about his romp it's likely that other people knew. That is absolutely humiliating for his wife and children. Why do you chose to shoot the messenger instead of the f##ked up cheater himself?

Dave chose to cheat, Dave blew up his own family.

Dave's wife and children deserve to deal with Dave's shitty behavior in private and not online as dictated by OP's DH. That's the part you don't get. No one is saying Dave is the good guy. But there are people here who presumably did nothing wrong having to deal with DAve's f-up's in the most public way. There are no good guys in this story.

At least his wife and family KNOW now, and can START to deal with it.

How do you know the wife didn't already know and chose to keep things private and work it out with her husband? WHo is OP's husband to decide the terms on how they deal with it?

How is he deciding how they deal with it? They can deal with it however they want. If the wife knows, why is she calling OP 300x? Do you not have any empathy for someone who's been cheated on and lied to? Why so many cheater apologists on here?

By making them/her deal with it in such a public way. She didn't deserve to be cheated on, she didn't deserve to be humiliated in front of all of their friends. Their children especially don't deserve any of it. Who the F is making apologies for a cheater? You are very small minded and borderline evil.

If you cheat, you can expect your wife and children find out and for them to know that everybody in their orbit knows whether they find out on Facebook or they find out on the sidelines of a soccer game or they find out through an anonymous email. the reality is everybody knows. And the wife is humiliated by the cheater

Yeah and his children now deserve to be asked about it at school and at church or wherever else they go. You are despicable.

You really have an issue with this. Did it happen to you? You know, maybe Dave shouldn’t be on social media. Maybe he shouldn’t have cheated. Maybe the kids learn resilience and the fact that they are not their Father’s mistakes at a young age.

You are disgusting.

You’re a cheater apologist. Do you want to protect all cheaters because you’re either an affair partner or you’re a cheater?

You’re the one hurting your family not the one who narcs on you

OH the narc poster!!! Now it all makes sense. You went apeshit in another thread today that had to be locked because of you. Please go seek mental help. You are having a mental breakdown. You are not well.

Actually, pp is using narc in a completely different variation here. They are not referring to narcissists, but someone outing the wrong. Good lord, keep up please.

Nope, she is just unhinged in this thread as she was in the previous one. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/195/1209149.page

Same writing and everything. She is not well.

I was in that thread. It may be the same poster, but they are not using the word the same way. Words can have multiple meanings.

OK, fair enough. But there are other similarities too. Not just that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who covered up what when isn't the trump card some seen to think it is. "Outing" likely hurt the cheater's family and caused public humiliation for them. That wasn't a precision strike, OP and Daddy Bear. The innocent family were your collateral damage.
You will now have that reputation among anyone who saw your "righteous anger" post and anyone they told.

You blew up the family 's private life.

No.

The cheater blew up his families life. The cheater hurt his family and caused humiliation. If one person knew about his romp it's likely that other people knew. That is absolutely humiliating for his wife and children. Why do you chose to shoot the messenger instead of the f##ked up cheater himself?

Dave chose to cheat, Dave blew up his own family.

Dave's wife and children deserve to deal with Dave's shitty behavior in private and not online as dictated by OP's DH. That's the part you don't get. No one is saying Dave is the good guy. But there are people here who presumably did nothing wrong having to deal with DAve's f-up's in the most public way. There are no good guys in this story.

At least his wife and family KNOW now, and can START to deal with it.

How do you know the wife didn't already know and chose to keep things private and work it out with her husband? WHo is OP's husband to decide the terms on how they deal with it?

How is he deciding how they deal with it? They can deal with it however they want. If the wife knows, why is she calling OP 300x? Do you not have any empathy for someone who's been cheated on and lied to? Why so many cheater apologists on here?

By making them/her deal with it in such a public way. She didn't deserve to be cheated on, she didn't deserve to be humiliated in front of all of their friends. Their children especially don't deserve any of it. Who the F is making apologies for a cheater? You are very small minded and borderline evil.

If you cheat, you can expect your wife and children find out and for them to know that everybody in their orbit knows whether they find out on Facebook or they find out on the sidelines of a soccer game or they find out through an anonymous email. the reality is everybody knows. And the wife is humiliated by the cheater

Yeah and his children now deserve to be asked about it at school and at church or wherever else they go. You are despicable.

You really have an issue with this. Did it happen to you? You know, maybe Dave shouldn’t be on social media. Maybe he shouldn’t have cheated. Maybe the kids learn resilience and the fact that they are not their Father’s mistakes at a young age.

You are disgusting.

You’re a cheater apologist. Do you want to protect all cheaters because you’re either an affair partner or you’re a cheater?

You’re the one hurting your family not the one who narcs on you

OH the narc poster!!! Now it all makes sense. You went apeshit in another thread today that had to be locked because of you. Please go seek mental help. You are having a mental breakdown. You are not well.

Actually, pp is using narc in a completely different variation here. They are not referring to narcissists, but someone outing the wrong. Good lord, keep up please.

Nope, she is just unhinged in this thread as she was in the previous one. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/195/1209149.page

Same writing and everything. She is not well.

I was in that thread. It may be the same poster, but they are not using the word the same way. Words can have multiple meanings.

OK, fair enough. But there are other similarities too. Not just that.

Fair to that as well. I didn't pay attention to that, only the word usage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

That guy blew up his own marriage. The wife should be running to get tested for STDS not blaming others.

So not only did she get cheated on but she deserves to be humiliated in front of the whole world for it? You are despicable.

Again, that is DAVES problem. DAVE is the one who cheated and broke his vows. He is despicable. He is the cheater, and he is the one who blew up his family. Stop apologizing and covering for cheaters. You sound like a cheater yourself.

CLASSIC DARVO, PP. Why do you feel the need to insult and attack posters here who have done nothing at all other than have a different opinion than you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who covered up what when isn't the trump card some seen to think it is. "Outing" likely hurt the cheater's family and caused public humiliation for them. That wasn't a precision strike, OP and Daddy Bear. The innocent family were your collateral damage.
You will now have that reputation among anyone who saw your "righteous anger" post and anyone they told.

You blew up the family 's private life.

No.

The cheater blew up his families life. The cheater hurt his family and caused humiliation. If one person knew about his romp it's likely that other people knew. That is absolutely humiliating for his wife and children. Why do you chose to shoot the messenger instead of the f##ked up cheater himself?

Dave chose to cheat, Dave blew up his own family.

Dave's wife and children deserve to deal with Dave's shitty behavior in private and not online as dictated by OP's DH. That's the part you don't get. No one is saying Dave is the good guy. But there are people here who presumably did nothing wrong having to deal with DAve's f-up's in the most public way. There are no good guys in this story.

At least his wife and family KNOW now, and can START to deal with it.

How do you know the wife didn't already know and chose to keep things private and work it out with her husband? WHo is OP's husband to decide the terms on how they deal with it?

How is he deciding how they deal with it? They can deal with it however they want. If the wife knows, why is she calling OP 300x? Do you not have any empathy for someone who's been cheated on and lied to? Why so many cheater apologists on here?

By making them/her deal with it in such a public way. She didn't deserve to be cheated on, she didn't deserve to be humiliated in front of all of their friends. Their children especially don't deserve any of it. Who the F is making apologies for a cheater? You are very small minded and borderline evil.

If you cheat, you can expect your wife and children find out and for them to know that everybody in their orbit knows whether they find out on Facebook or they find out on the sidelines of a soccer game or they find out through an anonymous email. the reality is everybody knows. And the wife is humiliated by the cheater

Yeah and his children now deserve to be asked about it at school and at church or wherever else they go. You are despicable.

You really have an issue with this. Did it happen to you? You know, maybe Dave shouldn’t be on social media. Maybe he shouldn’t have cheated. Maybe the kids learn resilience and the fact that they are not their Father’s mistakes at a young age.

How is this argument any different than an affair apologist deflecting from their own behavior? The slander had no relation to the comment or daughter and didn't need to be said. Full stop.

Stockades and pillory posts were used for a long time because shame does have an effect on behavior.
How do you know it was slander?
I think you are daves wife and wrote this post from the other woman’s perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who covered up what when isn't the trump card some seen to think it is. "Outing" likely hurt the cheater's family and caused public humiliation for them. That wasn't a precision strike, OP and Daddy Bear. The innocent family were your collateral damage.
You will now have that reputation among anyone who saw your "righteous anger" post and anyone they told.

You blew up the family 's private life.

No.

The cheater blew up his families life. The cheater hurt his family and caused humiliation. If one person knew about his romp it's likely that other people knew. That is absolutely humiliating for his wife and children. Why do you chose to shoot the messenger instead of the f##ked up cheater himself?

Dave chose to cheat, Dave blew up his own family.

Dave's wife and children deserve to deal with Dave's shitty behavior in private and not online as dictated by OP's DH. That's the part you don't get. No one is saying Dave is the good guy. But there are people here who presumably did nothing wrong having to deal with DAve's f-up's in the most public way. There are no good guys in this story.

At least his wife and family KNOW now, and can START to deal with it.

She might have already known and been dealing with it in her own way. But now she has to deal with it publically. That's so not cool. I've definitely not siding with the OP's DH on this one -

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dave’s remark was outrageous, but your DH was even more out of bounds. He should have called Dave out for being an inappropriate pig, ideally offline, not blown up his marriage. Serious over escalation.

Dave said something rude and untrue.

DH said the truth.

Just because something is true doesn't mean it needs to be publicly broadcast.

True but not saying it is not right and saying it wrong.

DH was neither right nor wrong he just said a true statement aloud.

But trying to fat shame a child is categorically wrong

But ... saying somebody is fat is neither right nor wrong either. Rude, yes. Wrong, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

That guy blew up his own marriage. The wife should be running to get tested for STDS not blaming others.

So not only did she get cheated on but she deserves to be humiliated in front of the whole world for it? You are despicable.

Again, that is DAVES problem. DAVE is the one who cheated and broke his vows. He is despicable. He is the cheater, and he is the one who blew up his family. Stop apologizing and covering for cheaters. You sound like a cheater yourself.

CLASSIC DARVO, PP. Why do you feel the need to insult and attack posters here who have done nothing at all other than have a different opinion than you?

Excuse me? I was called evil, disgusting and a host of other things. Please, don't tell me that I'm "attacking" anyone while suggesting someone who covers up for cheaters may be a cheater themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who covered up what when isn't the trump card some seen to think it is. "Outing" likely hurt the cheater's family and caused public humiliation for them. That wasn't a precision strike, OP and Daddy Bear. The innocent family were your collateral damage.
You will now have that reputation among anyone who saw your "righteous anger" post and anyone they told.

You blew up the family 's private life.

No.

The cheater blew up his families life. The cheater hurt his family and caused humiliation. If one person knew about his romp it's likely that other people knew. That is absolutely humiliating for his wife and children. Why do you chose to shoot the messenger instead of the f##ked up cheater himself?

Dave chose to cheat, Dave blew up his own family.

Dave's wife and children deserve to deal with Dave's shitty behavior in private and not online as dictated by OP's DH. That's the part you don't get. No one is saying Dave is the good guy. But there are people here who presumably did nothing wrong having to deal with DAve's f-up's in the most public way. There are no good guys in this story.

At least his wife and family KNOW now, and can START to deal with it.

She might have already known and been dealing with it in her own way. But now she has to deal with it publically. That's so not cool. I've definitely not siding with the OP's DH on this one -

This is where I land. If OPs husband was so outraged about the insinuation that his daughter is fat and loves food, why would he deliberately hurt Dave's wife and family? Where are his moral and values now? Go after Dave, but dragging everyone down to just sows the he is also a shit person and it's clear why these two have been friends forever. Birds of a feather.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dave’s remark was outrageous, but your DH was even more out of bounds. He should have called Dave out for being an inappropriate pig, ideally offline, not blown up his marriage. Serious over escalation.

Dave said something rude and untrue.

DH said the truth.

Just because something is true doesn't mean it needs to be publicly broadcast.

True but not saying it is not right and saying it wrong.

DH was neither right nor wrong he just said a true statement aloud.

But trying to fat shame a child is categorically wrong

But ... saying somebody is fat is neither right nor wrong either. Rude, yes. Wrong, no.

So no one did anything wrong then.
Dave was rude, DH spoke the quiet part out loud.
Much ado about nothing apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

I disagree. Insulting someone’s child publicly on what is supposed to be a celebratory post is pretty nuclear. You have to be crazy to do that and know it’s going to really upset the parents. Why would you antagonize someone who has knowledge of your affair? And having an affair is crappy in the first place, so I think Dave is a worse person overall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dave’s remark was outrageous, but your DH was even more out of bounds. He should have called Dave out for being an inappropriate pig, ideally offline, not blown up his marriage. Serious over escalation.

Dave said something rude and untrue.

DH said the truth.

Just because something is true doesn't mean it needs to be publicly broadcast.

True but not saying it is not right and saying it wrong.

DH was neither right nor wrong he just said a true statement aloud.

But trying to fat shame a child is categorically wrong

But ... saying somebody is fat is neither right nor wrong either. Rude, yes. Wrong, no.

So no one did anything wrong then.
Dave was rude, DH spoke the quiet part out loud.
Much ado about nothing apparently.

He didn't even say she's fat. It was just implied. Then DH went nutso.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

That guy blew up his own marriage. The wife should be running to get tested for STDS not blaming others.

So not only did she get cheated on but she deserves to be humiliated in front of the whole world for it? You are despicable.

Again, that is DAVES problem. DAVE is the one who cheated and broke his vows. He is despicable. He is the cheater, and he is the one who blew up his family. Stop apologizing and covering for cheaters. You sound like a cheater yourself.

CLASSIC DARVO, PP. Why do you feel the need to insult and attack posters here who have done nothing at all other than have a different opinion than you?

Excuse me? I was called evil, disgusting and a host of other things. Please, don't tell me that I'm "attacking" anyone while suggesting someone who covers up for cheaters may be a cheater themselves.

Yes you were, because you are all of those things. Don't play the victim now. You are being purposefully obtuse and refuse to see how it is NOT covering for a cheater to choose to not publically humiliate his wife and children. There was a to let her know if that was the intent, and this was not the platform for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

I disagree. Insulting someone’s child publicly on what is supposed to be a celebratory post is pretty nuclear. You have to be crazy to do that and know it’s going to really upset the parents. Why would you antagonize someone who has knowledge of your affair? And having an affair is crappy in the first place, so I think Dave is a worse person overall.

This could have been settled with a "not cool, Dave" then deleting it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

That guy blew up his own marriage. The wife should be running to get tested for STDS not blaming others.

So not only did she get cheated on but she deserves to be humiliated in front of the whole world for it? You are despicable.

Again, that is DAVES problem. DAVE is the one who cheated and broke his vows. He is despicable. He is the cheater, and he is the one who blew up his family. Stop apologizing and covering for cheaters. You sound like a cheater yourself.

CLASSIC DARVO, PP. Why do you feel the need to insult and attack posters here who have done nothing at all other than have a different opinion than you?

Excuse me? I was called evil, disgusting and a host of other things. Please, don't tell me that I'm "attacking" anyone while suggesting someone who covers up for cheaters may be a cheater themselves.

Yes you were, because you are all of those things. Don't play the victim now. You are being purposefully obtuse and refuse to see how it is NOT covering for a cheater to choose to not publically humiliate his wife and children. There was a to let her know if that was the intent, and this was not the platform for it.

But it's totally fine for Dave to humiliate a young girl with his comment AND his own family by cheating on them?

Seriously, stop covering for the cheater. Stop insulting me and trying to blame me for defending myself. You are insulting me for having a different opinion than you. Take a look in the mirror next time you bring out DARVO.