Accused of racial bias at work by someone, and I feel sick over it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The very broad strokes: I run my own marketing agency (not in DC, but I used to live here and still keep up on the boards).
I've been doing it for 20 years and have a really great reputation that I worked hard to earn. One of my clients is a university who wanted to publicize a research paper by two academics, so I put together a release after interviewing both authors, with the rep from the uni's comm department also on the line. I record all my calls, and this was recorded.

One of the authors, apparently the lead author -- which I didn't know, they were presented to me as co-authors -- was very young, Asian American woman who spoke more softly. The co-author was an older, very articulate white male.

At some point during the call, they began to talk over one another. I said, according to my recorded transcript: "Could one of you talk? I don't want to not hear you."

The call continued on, the story was finalized, but I quoted the man, who talked more, more in the release because he had more quotable phrases.

My longtime colleague who hired me from the uni called me yesterday and was very upset -- not at me, but at the situation, trying to figure out what happened, and said this wouldn't affect *my* relationship with the uni or future work, but that I should know that the younger woman apparently reached out to accuse me of racial bias because she thought I said, quote: "I don't want to hear you."

Now, that is not what I said, and the recording bears that out. I shared the recording with him as well as our correspondence where I gave equal attention and respect to both people.

The one thing I did was quote the man more, but the man was frankly the superior interview. It was not a racial choice. In fact, I had asked the softer woman to speak up to get her to talk more!

I burst into tears with my long time colleague. I have never had this happen before. I know people can be accused of micro aggressions in work environments all the time, but it has not happened to me, and it does not feel good, and I feel mortified. I also worry about my own reputation (although my colleague seems to have my back, and my recording bears out my side.)

DCUM, how would you handle? Do I ask to speak to these people directly? Do I let my client handle it? Will it blow over? I have been up sick, crying upset about this. I work with clients in the religious, disabilities, etc space. I feel mortified that I came off this way. Help? Thank you.

Your work colleague informed you of a situation in which you may have caused an offense and your reaction is to burst into tears while denying any wrongdoing.

Classic. Been seeing this since grade school.

-WOC

+1 I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The very broad strokes: I run my own marketing agency (not in DC, but I used to live here and still keep up on the boards).
I've been doing it for 20 years and have a really great reputation that I worked hard to earn. One of my clients is a university who wanted to publicize a research paper by two academics, so I put together a release after interviewing both authors, with the rep from the uni's comm department also on the line. I record all my calls, and this was recorded.

One of the authors, apparently the lead author -- which I didn't know, they were presented to me as co-authors -- was very young, Asian American woman who spoke more softly. The co-author was an older, very articulate white male.

At some point during the call, they began to talk over one another. I said, according to my recorded transcript: "Could one of you talk? I don't want to not hear you."

The call continued on, the story was finalized, but I quoted the man, who talked more, more in the release because he had more quotable phrases.

My longtime colleague who hired me from the uni called me yesterday and was very upset -- not at me, but at the situation, trying to figure out what happened, and said this wouldn't affect *my* relationship with the uni or future work, but that I should know that the younger woman apparently reached out to accuse me of racial bias because she thought I said, quote: "I don't want to hear you."

Now, that is not what I said, and the recording bears that out. I shared the recording with him as well as our correspondence where I gave equal attention and respect to both people.

The one thing I did was quote the man more, but the man was frankly the superior interview. It was not a racial choice. In fact, I had asked the softer woman to speak up to get her to talk more!

I burst into tears with my long time colleague. I have never had this happen before. I know people can be accused of micro aggressions in work environments all the time, but it has not happened to me, and it does not feel good, and I feel mortified. I also worry about my own reputation (although my colleague seems to have my back, and my recording bears out my side.)

DCUM, how would you handle? Do I ask to speak to these people directly? Do I let my client handle it? Will it blow over? I have been up sick, crying upset about this. I work with clients in the religious, disabilities, etc space. I feel mortified that I came off this way. Help? Thank you.

If you are going to continue doing academic work, you should know that the lead author is most important and therefore deserves most of the quotes.

I would go a step further and say that giving a man credit for the work of his (female) boss, which is what your article will do, is going to alienate you from a lot more of the academic and professional community than just a misunderstanding of “not hear you”. You could also avoid using double negatives in your professional conversations.

[Anonymous]

My read on this is that OP is working on autopilot. She doesn’t adequately prepare for her interviews/meetings because she feels like she doesn’t need to after 20 years of doing this as a business owner. She was unprepared for the interview and relied on who spoke the most during the interview and didn’t moderate the discussion well when there was one person who was not as vocal as the other person. She may have even been annoyed at the soft spoken person, because she was so soft spoken or inarticulate, especially when they spoke over each other, causing OP to make her strange double negative statement.

When OP was writing her piece, she worked with what she had and saw that she had more material from the loud man. Instead of reaching back out to the Asian woman, she smugly said to herself, “Well, this is what I have and I’m going with it. She should have spoken up more if she wanted more quotes in the piece.”

After seeing the piece, the lead author and the university came back to OP and called her out on the lop-sidedness of the piece. However, instead of criticizing her interviewing and writing skills, they mistakenly blamed the poor execution on racism. OP knows she could have done a better job with the piece if she had taken extra steps to include more from the lead author and feels embarrassed about the poor quality of the work, but also feels unjustly accused of racism. OP doesn’t understand that she may have biases that resulted in the way she handled the interview and writing because “some of her best friends are Asian.” Instead of owning up to the poor work product, she cried and now wants to figure out how to clear her name of the racism accusation. She still doesn’t understand that maybe she’s not as good at her job as she thought she was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The very broad strokes: I run my own marketing agency (not in DC, but I used to live here and still keep up on the boards).
I've been doing it for 20 years and have a really great reputation that I worked hard to earn. One of my clients is a university who wanted to publicize a research paper by two academics, so I put together a release after interviewing both authors, with the rep from the uni's comm department also on the line. I record all my calls, and this was recorded.

One of the authors, apparently the lead author -- which I didn't know, they were presented to me as co-authors -- was very young, Asian American woman who spoke more softly. The co-author was an older, very articulate white male.

At some point during the call, they began to talk over one another. I said, according to my recorded transcript: "Could one of you talk? I don't want to not hear you."

The call continued on, the story was finalized, but I quoted the man, who talked more, more in the release because he had more quotable phrases.

My longtime colleague who hired me from the uni called me yesterday and was very upset -- not at me, but at the situation, trying to figure out what happened, and said this wouldn't affect *my* relationship with the uni or future work, but that I should know that the younger woman apparently reached out to accuse me of racial bias because she thought I said, quote: "I don't want to hear you."

Now, that is not what I said, and the recording bears that out. I shared the recording with him as well as our correspondence where I gave equal attention and respect to both people.

The one thing I did was quote the man more, but the man was frankly the superior interview. It was not a racial choice. In fact, I had asked the softer woman to speak up to get her to talk more!

I burst into tears with my long time colleague. I have never had this happen before. I know people can be accused of micro aggressions in work environments all the time, but it has not happened to me, and it does not feel good, and I feel mortified. I also worry about my own reputation (although my colleague seems to have my back, and my recording bears out my side.)

DCUM, how would you handle? Do I ask to speak to these people directly? Do I let my client handle it? Will it blow over? I have been up sick, crying upset about this. I work with clients in the religious, disabilities, etc space. I feel mortified that I came off this way. Help? Thank you.

Your colleague should not have said this because it isn’t true. If the researcher is doing important work at the university she will not work with you in the future and her university/department will back her up. If you quoted the subordinate male over his female boss, it will show both an unfamiliarity with academic norms and will be offensive to most women if she takes her complaint further.

[Anonymous]

If someone being racist and manipulative or feigning upset to try to dodge responsibility they should be called out every time. However, it’s incredibly toxic to pathologies crying. -mental health professional

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My read on this is that OP is working on autopilot. She doesn’t adequately prepare for her interviews/meetings because she feels like she doesn’t need to after 20 years of doing this as a business owner. She was unprepared for the interview and relied on who spoke the most during the interview and didn’t moderate the discussion well when there was one person who was not as vocal as the other person. She may have even been annoyed at the soft spoken person, because she was so soft spoken or inarticulate, especially when they spoke over each other, causing OP to make her strange double negative statement.

When OP was writing her piece, she worked with what she had and saw that she had more material from the loud man. Instead of reaching back out to the Asian woman, she smugly said to herself, “Well, this is what I have and I’m going with it. She should have spoken up more if she wanted more quotes in the piece.”

After seeing the piece, the lead author and the university came back to OP and called her out on the lop-sidedness of the piece. However, instead of criticizing her interviewing and writing skills, they mistakenly blamed the poor execution on racism. OP knows she could have done a better job with the piece if she had taken extra steps to include more from the lead author and feels embarrassed about the poor quality of the work, but also feels unjustly accused of racism. OP doesn’t understand that she may have biases that resulted in the way she handled the interview and writing because “some of her best friends are Asian.” Instead of owning up to the poor work product, she cried and now wants to figure out how to clear her name of the racism accusation. She still doesn’t understand that maybe she’s not as good at her job as she thought she was.

Jfc what is wrong with you that you are such a troll! Do better

[Anonymous]

I don’t get why the other person wouldn’t have reached out to op to discuss this before accusing op of racism.
Ridiculous leap to make without giving anyone a modicum of benefit of doubt

[Anonymous]

Humans are not perfect. But there’s a big difference between not being perfect/ not having done exactly the right thing and being a racist. Throwing racism around like this just cheapens the accusation. I experience being mansplained over and to every single day - but I better be darn sure that someone is doing something bc I’m a woman before I go ruining their career over it. Ridic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why the other person wouldn’t have reached out to op to discuss this before accusing op of racism.
Ridiculous leap to make without giving anyone a modicum of benefit of doubt

It’s not her job to do that. The university hired OP and the university is responsible for the quality of the people they hire for marketing. The researcher did the right thing reporting the piece to the bigger university since she has no way to know how many other people OP has let be pushed out of articles about their own work for the crime of having a soft voice or a loud colleague.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why the other person wouldn’t have reached out to op to discuss this before accusing op of racism.
Ridiculous leap to make without giving anyone a modicum of benefit of doubt

It’s not her job to do that. The university hired OP and the university is responsible for the quality of the people they hire for marketing. The researcher did the right thing reporting the piece to the bigger university since she has no way to know how many other people OP has let be pushed out of articles about their own work for the crime of having a soft voice or a loud colleague.

This is a leap. And to tie it to racism?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why the other person wouldn’t have reached out to op to discuss this before accusing op of racism.
Ridiculous leap to make without giving anyone a modicum of benefit of doubt

It’s not her job to do that. The university hired OP and the university is responsible for the quality of the people they hire for marketing. The researcher did the right thing reporting the piece to the bigger university since she has no way to know how many other people OP has let be pushed out of articles about their own work for the crime of having a soft voice or a loud colleague.

This is a leap. And to tie it to racism?

It is your job not to assume racism before you accuse someone of something life altering.
To go from ‘you didn’t represent my voice in your article enough’ to you’re a racist is insane leap. That’s some powerful cancelling right there. Like sure you could assume the absolute worst of someone but she could also call her and be like - can you adjust your story I have more to say.
Insane next level bs

[Anonymous]

This is clearly a problem with the Asian female and her male colleague. First, if her English is not native, then they should have known she would need to prepare her remarks instead of doing an off the cuff interview. Second, if he spoke over as much as it sounds like, then that's more on him than you. She misheard you, and probably became even more uncomfortable as a result, but she did not A-ask for clarification of the words she didn't understand or B-let you know you had offended her. She made an assumption and then tried to harm your career because of her mistake.

I find the most disturbing part the fact that your contact and the uni are not supporting you, and she is not calling you to apologize for her mistake.

[Anonymous]

And to add to what I just said in 18:36, I have worked with foreign-born academics - mostly Asian - for over 20 years. Most of them are well aware of the limits of their English, and they are also aware of their ability, or lack thereof, so speak well in a situation like this one. And all of their colleagues are also aware. So the fact that they set this person up for an interview with you AND her subordinate yet very talkative male colleague at the same time, and didn't give you a heads up or make any attempt to mitigate a very predictable outcome basically suggests to me that this was a train wreck waiting to happen and she and her colleagues probably new. Mr. articulate and talkative certainly knew, and took advantage of it to further his own career opportunity - very typical thing to happen in academia. Very possibly OP got caught in the middle of a petty academic battle between the two colleagues and is now the sacrificial lamb.

Welcome to academia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why the other person wouldn’t have reached out to op to discuss this before accusing op of racism.
Ridiculous leap to make without giving anyone a modicum of benefit of doubt

It’s not her job to do that. The university hired OP and the university is responsible for the quality of the people they hire for marketing. The researcher did the right thing reporting the piece to the bigger university since she has no way to know how many other people OP has let be pushed out of articles about their own work for the crime of having a soft voice or a loud colleague.

This is a leap. And to tie it to racism?

It is your job not to assume racism before you accuse someone of something life altering.
To go from ‘you didn’t represent my voice in your article enough’ to you’re a racist is insane leap. That’s some powerful cancelling right there. Like sure you could assume the absolute worst of someone but she could also call her and be like - can you adjust your story I have more to say.
Insane next level bs

You don’t think being denied credit for her own work in a publication in favor of a louder, white male subordinate all because OP didn’t do her research (and yes, it’s on OP to know who the lead researcher is ffs) might be life altering? Honestly it doesn’t sound like OP did a good job whether it was racism, sexism, or just laziness and it’s not the subjects job to figure out which of the three it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why the other person wouldn’t have reached out to op to discuss this before accusing op of racism.
Ridiculous leap to make without giving anyone a modicum of benefit of doubt

It’s not her job to do that. The university hired OP and the university is responsible for the quality of the people they hire for marketing. The researcher did the right thing reporting the piece to the bigger university since she has no way to know how many other people OP has let be pushed out of articles about their own work for the crime of having a soft voice or a loud colleague.

This is a leap. And to tie it to racism?

It is your job not to assume racism before you accuse someone of something life altering.
To go from ‘you didn’t represent my voice in your article enough’ to you’re a racist is insane leap. That’s some powerful cancelling right there. Like sure you could assume the absolute worst of someone but she could also call her and be like - can you adjust your story I have more to say.
Insane next level bs

The OP is very clear doesn’t care that she silenced the woman she only cares that she was accused of racism. Why on earth would we think she would make any changes to her story because a researcher, who has a whole job to do other than fix OPs mistakes, called her and asked for the courtesy of being credited with being the lead on her own project.

OP the university isn’t going to use what you wrote if they’re smart. Since a complaint has already been made and since your work is going to reflect your lack of interest and respect for the lead researcher, they’re going to have to pay someone else to do it over. Call your contact and tell them you don’t want to bill for this work given your mistakes (specifically not knowing who the lead was) and offer to write a letter of apology to the lead researcher for not doing your due diligence.