Wanting love

[Anonymous]

After divorce from ex from hell, all I want in life is someone who loves me. I keep meeting men who want me, but apparently don’t love me enough to have a real relationship. I feel like maybe it’s not in the cards for me…

[Anonymous]

As mentioned 1,000 times before, it's a numbers game. How many people does anyone ever truly love over a lifetime? 3? 4? For me, it has been serendipity, not outright looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After divorce from ex from hell, all I want in life is someone who loves me. I keep meeting men who want me, but apparently don’t love me enough to have a real relationship. I feel like maybe it’s not in the cards for me…

Women will love you more. It’s to switch sides.

[Anonymous]

That's interesting. Try inverting things. What if you changed what you wanted, to instead, trying to find someone that you could live whole heartedly, and who also had the emotional maturity to accept your love and stop looking for other options?

The difference is you are much more in control of who you choose to love, than who chooses to live you, which is really not in your control at all.

You should screen first by trying to select someone that you love or are capable of loving Its up to them if they love you back or not. Who you choose to love should be someone who at least is capable of loving you back.

Again things will probably be a lot more fluid and mutual and non sequential. But viewing yourself as the active agent of your own destiny is much more empowering than the alternative. And it also forces you to make difficult choices, but necessary ones, for your long term happiness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After divorce from ex from hell, all I want in life is someone who loves me. I keep meeting men who want me, but apparently don’t love me enough to have a real relationship. I feel like maybe it’s not in the cards for me…

I think this means they want to have sex with you before committing emotionally to you. It doesn't mean they do not want to commit emotionally to you at all. They also want to know if your attitudes towards sex are compatible with theirs.

If you insist on not filling the toe into sex prior to a guarantee of commitment, you are going to wind up with a man who is sexually avoidant, gay, or a con artist

[Anonymous]

I just want one person. My ex clearly wasn’t it…. If by numbers game you mean I have to meet lots of people - yes I do meet a people but they’re not really good matches. Idk either. Can’t do apps because it’s just hard for me. Idk whom I’d even go on a date with, there are hundreds/thousands of options but I’d never know whom to pick. The league is really bad in my city, there’s a selection of maybe a few dozen people, I went on dates with a few but no one really clicked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's interesting. Try inverting things. What if you changed what you wanted, to instead, trying to find someone that you could live whole heartedly, and who also had the emotional maturity to accept your love and stop looking for other options?

The difference is you are much more in control of who you choose to love, than who chooses to live you, which is really not in your control at all.

You should screen first by trying to select someone that you love or are capable of loving Its up to them if they love you back or not. Who you choose to love should be someone who at least is capable of loving you back.

Again things will probably be a lot more fluid and mutual and non sequential. But viewing yourself as the active agent of your own destiny is much more empowering than the alternative. And it also forces you to make difficult choices, but necessary ones, for your long term happiness

Well I was seeing 2 men since divorce and I really had feelings for both of them but I guess it wasn’t mutual (or just not enough for them to want a relationship)… so clearly I would have been able to love them if they had shown that kind of interest in me.

[Anonymous]

OP it's said that 80% of all women want to be with the the top 10% of all guys. With guys it's the opposite. It.sounds like you are trying to punch above your weight class.

[Anonymous]

OP which is it. Do you just want one guy? Why were you seeing two guys simultaneously after your divorce? You have a glaring double standard. Start with trying to live the values you claim to have.

[Anonymous]

You are looking for love, so you probably won’t find it. Try not looking and just living the life you personally want. He will appear magically as soon as you don’t need him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP which is it. Do you just want one guy? Why were you seeing two guys simultaneously after your divorce? You have a glaring double standard. Start with trying to live the values you claim to have.

One for 6 months and then another one for 5 months. … I never said simultaneously.

[Anonymous]

Nobody has ever loved me. Some liked me, most wanted to hump me. Huge number of men already in relationships.
I also don't see much love around me either. Maybe one couple, but the rest are together for no reason.
Few lucky people find love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it's said that 80% of all women want to be with the the top 10% of all guys. With guys it's the opposite. It.sounds like you are trying to punch above your weight class.

Not really. Neither was above me in any way - the first one was a bad idea to begin with but I really had hopes that the second one would work out. He was really nice, attractive, but I think somewhat insecure with his professional status relative to mine (I couldn’t care less) and I just don’t really hear much from him anymore. So I’m taking the hint. I think after 5 months and considering that neither of us is young (I’m mid 40s, he’s 57) he could at least be a bit more mature and communicate if he lost interest.

[Anonymous]

Serial poster is back after a two week hiatus!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serial poster is back after a two week hiatus!

I haven’t posted here in almost a year and certainly not about this topic, but apparently you monitor messages here…