Am I delusional?
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Anonymous
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DD goes to a private UES preschool. We're applying to K in the fall and had a meeting with her head teacher and PSD to discuss options. Our kid is occasionally shy but IMO bright - outside of school she's verbal, has started to read small words and loves to add and subtract. She asks thoughtful questions and is able to make friends easily with other kids in our neighborhood. She has one "bestie" at school and gets along well with the other children, based on playdates we've had outside of school. She has a good attention span, we read fairly advanced books to her and she is able to keep up.
The teacher feedback felt like they were talking about a different child. They said that she doesn't engage with the more academic material and doesn't really ask any questions and isn't a "leader." They essentially shot down us applying to any TT schools (not in so many words but stating that they wouldn't be a good "fit") as well as some 2Ts. I asked them which schools they do feel would be a good fit and they mentioned a few less rigorous progressive schools. We're not really interested in progressive schools and given the feedback feel like she could do with something more structured rather than less. I get that they are managing expectations but I feel like they're just trying to pigeonhole us into less competitive schools so we're not competing for spots against siblings and legacies. We're really confused and not sure how to proceed. I understand the ISAAGNY report matters a lot as well as the preschool visit, and we really do need them to be on board, it's also too late for us to switch. My kid's birthday is early June so theoretically we could wait another year, but my instinct tells me it would be the wrong move. Kind of want to just do public school and be done with it |
Anonymous
| Can you work on strategies with the school to bring out your daughter’s brightness? But preschool is very young. |
Anonymous
| If I were you I would go public and apply to privates in middle or high school. |
Anonymous
| Go public |
Anonymous
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I had a similar situation many years ago. Ended up going public. My kid was admittedly a bit behind socially (and was also on the younger side for private) but the pre-school acted like they were a lost cause - suggested holding them back which was clearly an awful idea. Kid has been a superstar academically and socially and switched to private for HS where they are continuing to excel - glad I saved my money - wish I hadn't wasted it on the over-rated fancy pre-school.
Good luck! |
Anonymous
| Is it the teacher or PSD? Maybe the teacher isn't the best fit. Talk to the PSD about making sure your kid is in a room in the fall with a teacher your kid might feel more comfortable with. Smart kids don't always perform. My kid is crazy advanced but isn't going to go out of her way to prove it to a teacher who doesn't engage her. |
Anonymous
| I think if you want TT K, you hold her back a year, let her mature socially, and then she will likely get the TT admission. If you don’t wanna pay for 2T/3T, go public. School has to manage all these kids, and they know which ones they are going to broker TT for. They are telling you it’s not going to be your kid- it sucks, but you don’t want to go through the whole thing and be disappointed. The preschools have a lot of power in this whole game. |
Anonymous
| Just move to Connecticut or Westchester. |
Anonymous
Intolerable. If you can reasonably afford private school and a nice apartment in NYC you shouldn’t move to the tristate suburbs. They’re awful places to grow up |
Anonymous
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I think you are underestimating how competitive admissions are and you are asking a lot of a child to be advance relative to their milestones to compete with children that can be a year older.
My child is a late birthday, so it is noticeable when they go from middle of the pack at preschool to the top when there is a private school birthday cutoff for extracurricular activities. |
Anonymous
Yeah, this - the rich kids there are just as obnoxious and cliquish and bullying as the rich kids in NYC private schools, but the schools themselves are a negligible upgrade if any over NYC publics, particularly if you have a bright kid - as it sounds like you do. |
Anonymous
| Go public to start. If you’re unhappy come October, apply out to TT private K. Anecdotally well over half of TT K classes are filled with June-Oct bdays of the prior year. |
Anonymous
| They have a serious undersupply. |
Anonymous
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if it makes you feel better, my two kids who both went public k-8 are now both at HYP.
if you live on the UES and are zoned for those k-5s, do not look back. spend all that money on a safari and a trip to the Galapagos. privates will open to you down the road, if you want them |
Anonymous
| Good public for K-8 is an excellent option and in no way lowers your chances of an elite outcome (speaking from experience). |