Intimacy with an ex-spouse - is it weird?

[Anonymous]

My ex-husband and I have been divorced for about seven years, but we’ve still been intimate occasionally over that time. I recently came across a discussion online where a lot of people were saying this kind of situation is weird or unhealthy, which made me pause.

Curious what others think—if both people on the same page, is this actually a problem, or just one of those things people judge more harshly than they should?

[Anonymous]

How often and are you both in relationships?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How often and are you both in relationships?

Maybe twice a month or once every two months, it depends. We are both dating, but not in super serious relationships.

[Anonymous]

It’s not good if you’re trying to move on and have a relationship with someone else.

If it’s a FWB situation, they why not. Everyone involved know how to get the job done effectively and efficiently.

[Anonymous]

You do you.

[Anonymous]

You really don't understand why people think it's weird?

[Anonymous]

Curious why you're divorced if you get along well enough to continue having sex with some regularity. Or is it that given neither of you are in other relationships, you serve as placeholders for sex in each other's lives?

[Anonymous]

I think it is nuts. Been divorced 6 years. We did not have relations for many years before divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is nuts. Been divorced 6 years. We did not have relations for many years before divorce.

But you clearly have a very different relationship with your Ex than OP. So not necessarily nuts. But does beg the question of why they are divorced.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't want to date you if I found out you were still hooking up with an ex.

Big red flag that neither of you have moved on.

[Anonymous]

It's only unhealthy if it keeps you from developing other relationships that you want to develop, OP.

What do you want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious why you're divorced if you get along well enough to continue having sex with some regularity. Or is it that given neither of you are in other relationships, you serve as placeholders for sex in each other's lives?

He had an affair, dated her, and then ended things because of her issues. We already had a major conflict before the affair, so that was just the breaking point. After that, we were both done. He’s said he wants to be remarried.

[Anonymous]

I think this is crazy, but whatever.

[Anonymous]

If you’re not cheating on any current partners then it’s okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious why you're divorced if you get along well enough to continue having sex with some regularity. Or is it that given neither of you are in other relationships, you serve as placeholders for sex in each other's lives?

He had an affair, dated her, and then ended things because of her issues. We already had a major conflict before the affair, so that was just the breaking point. After that, we were both done. He’s said he wants to be remarried.

Remarried to you?