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I was at an out of town family function and one of the young women mentioned that her Mom is and always has been, on a diet. Her Mom has seemingly always been the same size - Mom-sized, nothing remarkable as long as I've known her. I am aware that this specific daughter has been shamed about her weight her entire life-though I suspect she has PCOS. Her sister less so, because she hasn't seemed to have any issues with her weight. Frankly, their Mom seems pretty miserable all the time. Not mean or angry, but just constantly full of complaints of all sorts. Her husband is lovely and laidback so the contrast can be stark.
As someone that did every grapefruit and lean chicken breast diet AND liquid diet in the 80s/90s, I got off that train in young adulthood, and all I can think was how less miserable I've been. I'd forgotten about the constant cycle of every January, trying something new; rush to get 'swimsuit ready' and all that stuff. It sucked. I was wondering if young(er) women are now less susceptible to this type of conditioning? I have two tween boys and these topics rarely come up. I guess my hope is that we are losing that 'dieting' culture that has been laid on us for so long. I like the GLP-1 results that are kind of proving that some folks' bodies don't want to let go of weight, even with intervention and that extra weight isn't simply a 'moral failing'. |
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my mom is 80 and has been OBSESSED with her weight and everyone else's weight for as long as I can remember. I remember being 12 and her telling me if I ate bread it was "building fat cells" for the future. She definitely has an eating disorder.
As a young adult, I realized how crazy all this was and I have made a conscious effort to not discuss my weight or my kids weight ever. I had to threaten my mom a few years ago when she made a comment to my 10 year old about her "belly" showing in a bathing suit. I threatened her with never seeing us again if she ever discussed anyones body. Now she focuses on our dogs weight. |
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Similar story with my mom to the above poster. My mom is 75 and has always been weight and diet obsessed. She describes her eating disorder from her 20's with pride, and loves to tell people she weighed 95 pounds on her wedding day.
I spent my whole 20s on weight watchers and feel like I've spent most of my adult life trying at some level to shrink, minus when I was pregnant. I'm on Zepbound now for the stubborn PCOS/peri weight and while it's been wonderful to finally feel better in my body, it is also so easy to get obsessed with scale again. |
| My mom (80) has also been obsessed with weight since I was a (skinny) child. I actually think she's the reason my weight ballooned upwards in my 20s. Fortunately I am healthy now. |
| Yeah, blame the boomers for dieting. |
| Gen X and on GLP but still always thinking about how I should diet. I can’t get below a size 10. But my clothes fit so much better than when I was larger. I don’t think we’re as obsessive as Boomers. |
| As Gen X, most of us were forced to diet constantly by our parents if we gained any weight whatsoever. |
| Well, this makes me feel pretty good. Sounds like some of us are shaking off the behaviors and therefore our kids never know it existed. I noticed my oldest DS was getting 'chunky' at 10/11, which I would say was my watershed year on weight as a kid, and I bit my lip and pushed down my worry and dang if he didn't stretch right out! He mentioned once that he wanted to 'start going to the gym' during that period and I asked him to trust that he'd grow 'out' ahead of growing 'up' and just to wait. It does feel a bit like beating the devil... |
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Yep. My boomer mom and her mom (greatest generation) came from big families. All they’d talk about every second of the day was people’s weight. Thunder thighs, cottage cheese butts, suck in your gut (instead of saying “cheese”’when people took a photo they said that) on and on. You were praised if you lost weight but nearly everyone was obese.
My mom loves to comment to me about how skinny my DS is and I read her the riot act. He’s skinny but so strong and healthy. He eats a lot. Once she did it in front of him and I immediately told her that we don’t talk about peoples bodies. She knows not to talk about my daughters. |
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This couldn't come at a better time. Gen X-er who always struggled with about 10-15 extra pounds until, for a variety of reasons gradually (really, just eating whole grains and walking a lot) got a little leaner from about age 30 on. Then perimenopause/a child wanting snacks every few hours/emotional eating from negative emotions has made me gain about 10-15 yrs and having trouble getting it off. No interest in going on one of those shots.
Young women seem a bit better (from far away I sit) ignoring the fads but I personally found it very sad that, say, in People's How they lost the weight new year edition everyone they profiled took a shot. Why not anyone who lost/maintained their weight the old fashioned way? |
That's a good response on your part. You didn't add to any issues/feelings he had. Reminds me of my mom/parents - made me feel seen and loved, even if weight went up a bit this age as well. |
Oh sweetie, the boomers are YOUR parents. Ours are greatest gen. |
My parents and pediatrician said similar to me when I was a tween. I remember the ped saying lots of girls get chubby right before puberty. I felt like they were gaslighting me. I never did grow and stayed chubby. What I wanted was for my parents to help me get to a healthy weight. I was so glad when I finally turned 16 and could get into a gym by myself and pay for it. Weight fell off and I was able to buy healthier food too. |
| It’s an interesting time we’re in where a lot of us are trying to undo the damage of our boomer moms’ weight obsession at a time when it feels like the body positivity movement is fading fast. It was shocking to see some of the female stars who have recently shrunk on the Oscars red carpet. And glp-1s are an amazing thing and helping so many (myself included) get healthier, but they are also bringing back the focus on shrinking our bodies. |
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Maybe this is an UMC thing. The boomer ladies in my family are all “pleasantly plump” and they are confused as to why their daughters diet and work out to try and look “bikini-ready” at 40.
My mom says “no one expects you to look the same as you did in high school. I don’t know why you kill yourself. I give your sister a pass since her husband is Asian and she feels like she has to stay thin for him, but since your husband is white he should understand.” |