Help with Emotionally Struggling First Grader Fairfax County Public

[Anonymous]

Posting here at the suggestion of someone in FCPS forum. My nephew is really struggling emotionally with first grade. He sees a therapist (does not seem to be helping) and the elementary school has been sending him to the school psychologist (I think this is only once per week). He is bright and reads at above his grade level, but refuses to do work he is not interested in, like math. He is throwing huge temper tantrums about: 1) getting on the bus in either direction (this has been dropped) and even getting to school so he is always late 2) at school whenever there are specials (STEAM, library, gym), 3) seemingly random times at school, and 4) interaction with a SPED kid in class who has an aid and who repeatedly threatens to kill nephew or who threatens other kids nephew sticks up for.

When I say temper tantrums, they are out of control and they've been happening pretty much daily now. Screaming, crying, hitting and kicking adults, trying to hit windows and break them, attempting to elope, mocking the adult, saying mean things to teachers (calling them fat, making fun of their accents. etc.), you name it. This can go on for hours. The school has been mostly sending him home (which has caused my sister to lose the job she needs to support him as a single mom). The school system is supposedly "working on a plan." There has been an initial IEP meeting but nothing else. My sister is really at her wits end. He does not always act like this. He has tantrums like this at home sometimes (particularly around going to school or anywhere he doesn't want to go), but is usually a kind, articulate, curious, and likeable kid. He refuses to talk about the incidents and trying to force him to discuss sends him off into another tantrum.

He did fine in nursery school, and okay in kindergarten without meltdowns like this. His parents are divorced/apart for nearly three years now. Father is no help at all, only has him every other weekend, also low income.

This can't go on this way. Not to mention the poor teachers and administrators who are having to deal with him. Sister needs support at school and at home and she is lowish income (to no income due to having to leave jobs to deal with getting him at school multiple times per week). Mostly she just gets complaints and lectures from the school about how his behavior has to change (duh). How do I help my sister get the support she needs? What support does she need? Suggestions?

[Anonymous]

First of all, many consider “SPED” a slur used like that, but I don’t you probably didn’t know or mean it like that.

Second, he needs a developmental pediatrician. It will take a long time to get an appointment so get on waitlists now.

Does he get enough quality sleep?

[Anonymous]

The mother needs to ask the school to call in Behavior Intervention Services. She also needs to ask for a functional behavioral assessment, and to have her son considered for a CSS program. She needs to take him to a child psychiatrist. The needs to contact the region superintendent and say that her son needs more support in school in order to receive a free and appropriate public education. She could also ask the school board for help. That would be quickest.

[Anonymous]

If they have ad an initial meeting then the school should be following up with testing or evaluations of a behavior improvement plan. I think they have a specific period of time that they have to complete the testing in.

[Anonymous]

She needs to get him a neuropsych evaluation to find out what is really going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First of all, many consider “SPED” a slur used like that, but I don’t you probably didn’t know or mean it like that.

Second, he needs a developmental pediatrician. It will take a long time to get an appointment so get on waitlists now.

Does he get enough quality sleep?

Yeah. Completely agree. And don't mention the other Special Needs child because your nephew is most likely thought of as the SN child who really needs a diagnosis stat. Anywho, does this behavior carry over to home? How does he treat mom and you? Also, get in intel on what is happening at Dad's every other weekend. Are there other children there? Are they bullying him? Potential abuse? I know it sounds far-fetched, but this can be a factor when extreme behavior comes into play.