Inappropriate Parent at a Meet

[Anonymous]

Don’t normally make a habit of reading other people’s text messages, but we watched a male parent have a very graphic exchange with a woman that he was only hiding from his wife he was sitting next to at a meet this weekend pictures and all. Normally would brush it off as a basic creep but there were references to younger girls - wasn’t the only one who saw the exchange. He wasn’t from our team and we don’t know his name but are pretty sure we know what team he’s from (not PVS but MD). Is this a safe sport violation or should we reach out to the team directly?

In hindsight we should have reached out to the meet organizers, but it was a lot to process. Feeling pretty gross about the whole thing. This is clearly someone who should not be allowed on a pool deck. Promise this isn’t fake.

[Anonymous]

On deck or in the stands? There's no SafeSport expectations for spectators, other than don't go in the locker room. It sounds gross, but not illegal. I don't know that there's anything to be done now. You could have in the moment said that you can see his messages and he may have been more discreet.

If you're actually talking illegal, you should talk to the police.

[Anonymous]

It was in the stands. We didn’t think it was a good idea to confront someone in front of his wife and lots of swimmers making a scene. It was just gross.

[Anonymous]

There is no safe sport violation,
As long as there were no inappropriate images sent hes nof breaking any laws either. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Yes, gross. Sad for wife. But also, myob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t normally make a habit of reading other people’s text messages, but we watched a male parent have a very graphic exchange with a woman that he was only hiding from his wife he was sitting next to at a meet this weekend pictures and all. Normally would brush it off as a basic creep but there were references to younger girls - wasn’t the only one who saw the exchange. He wasn’t from our team and we don’t know his name but are pretty sure we know what team he’s from (not PVS but MD). Is this a safe sport violation or should we reach out to the team directly?

In hindsight we should have reached out to the meet organizers, but it was a lot to process. Feeling pretty gross about the whole thing. This is clearly someone who should not be allowed on a pool deck. Promise this isn’t fake.

He was texting with another woman about young girls... as in those swimming? And taking photos?

[Anonymous]

Next time keep your eyes on your own phone. Did you hurt your neck craning to see? Weirdo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, gross. Sad for wife. But also, myob.

NP.

I was wondering about this. I have been going to meets for 5 years now and have never seen people's text. Are you sure you saw what you saw, OP? It would take a lot to see that level of detail on someone elses phone.

[Anonymous]

OP.

Standing room only at back and he was in the top row holding his phone up making no effort to hide it from anyone other than his wife. Caught an eyeful of something someone sent to him - the parent standing next to me saw the same thing. We don’t go out of our way to read other people’s phones but this was impossible to miss looking out to the pool. Someone who is that brazen in public has got to be even worse in private.

I’d prefer to just mind my own business but this was gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP.

Standing room only at back and he was in the top row holding his phone up making no effort to hide it from anyone other than his wife. Caught an eyeful of something someone sent to him - the parent standing next to me saw the same thing. We don’t go out of our way to read other people’s phones but this was impossible to miss looking out to the pool. Someone who is that brazen in public has got to be even worse in private.

I’d prefer to just mind my own business but this was gross.

OP again…just wanted to add people can do whatever they want in private but so openly in public with lots of kids around is when it’s concerning. Just trying to figure out if there was any way to address the issue but know we’re just going to have to let it go. Creeps are going to be creeps.

[Anonymous]

Are you saying he was receiving nude photos? Of an adult woman? Maybe you could have called security, if he was openly displaying those pictures near children they could ask him to leave. I doubt anything can be done if he's not caught in the act.

[Anonymous]

Quick, get a warrant for the phone.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand the situation. Was he sexting with another consenting adult and you witnessed an affair? Gross, but not illegal. MYOB. Then you say he was referencing younger girls - in what way?? Are you talking about the swimmers? This seems like two completely separate issues and you won’t get any good advice if you don’t clarify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the situation. Was he sexting with another consenting adult and you witnessed an affair? Gross, but not illegal. MYOB. Then you say he was referencing younger girls - in what way?? Are you talking about the swimmers? This seems like two completely separate issues and you won’t get any good advice if you don’t clarify.

+1

Even if he was straight up fully, graphically, sexting but it was all about/with adults, then this is a huge MYOB. Don't read other people's text! And if you get a glance and it's gross, the lesson is to stop reading other people's texts, not to get all up in arms about it. A phone is private.

BUT if you happened to get a glance of something related to underage children (!!) at a SWIM MEET (ie, a place where there are children in swimming garb, not parkas) that would be a VERY different story. In that case, you probably need to try and write down, as best as you can, verbatim, what you saw and take it to the coach along with a description of the man, and depending on details, you may also need to contact the police.

So this is really, really hard to tease apart as you've written it.