no bereavement leave

[Anonymous]

Talk me off the ledge of quitting because I am very emotional and know that I should not do anything rash. Just lost a parent. Took one day off so far, and just found out my VA state agency does not offer any bereavement leave, nor can I use sick leave (I have 60 hours) even though DHRM's policy is to allow it. And since I am relatively new to the job I only have 12 paid holidays a year, and I've already used 8 and was planning other 4 over Xmas. I doubt my boss cares, and would probably just tell me to just 'work from home' but I am irrationally angry.

[Anonymous]

I mean 12 days of vacation (I was told I could use only use personal or vacation--as if buying a parent on the other side of the country is a freaking vacation). I get 12 vacation days and 2 personal.

[Anonymous]

If DHRM says you can use sick leave why are you saying you can't use sick leave? If a supervisor denied the leave and you believe you can take it, contact HR to confirm you are correct. If you are then you can discuss with the supervisor or with the ombudsman. I assume you mean 12 days of vacation and you have separate holidays when the government is closed.

The other option may be to take leave without pay.

Limited vacation time in the first years of government service can be difficult. However, you presumably understood that you first had to earn the leave and that if you used all 12 days you would start the new year with no vacation days. This is why many people just use the holidays or take a half day of vacation in conjunction with a holiday and save as much leave as possible until they build it up. (Also, earning any comp time allowed and asking if any bonus can be paid out in leave days instead of money can help.) Eventually many people end up with more leave then they can even use but it takes awhile.

[Anonymous]

If DHRM says you can use sick leave why are you saying you can't use sick leave? If a supervisor denied the leave and you believe you can take it, contact HR to confirm you are correct. If you are then you can discuss with the supervisor or with the ombudsman. I assume you mean 12 days of vacation and you have separate holidays when the government is closed.

its HR who told me I can't use sick leave. Our HR is beyond incompetent so who knows.

Yes, I do know about the vacation rationing and had just enough to take me through the year-we took some time this summer and planned a trip to see family this December. I did not plan for parent death but I should have. Just assumed I could use sick leave as per DHRM policy. I frequently work (and travel) weekends and nights but don't think I'm eligible for comp time (what I was told) because Im salaried? again,same HR.

[Anonymous]

I am very sorry. My father died unexpectedly on the second day of my current job and I had to take leave without pay.

[Anonymous]

I am so so sorry, my dear. Big hugs. I hope you find a solution. Your workplace is terrible to do that to you.

[Anonymous]

Have you looked at the handbook? Are you sure there’s no BL?
I’m local government in MD and get BL.
I was also allowed to use SL when my dog died. I was a wreck for 2 days. No idea if they filed it under mental health or what but they let me use it.
Officially they’re not allowed to ask us why we’ve called out sick unless it’s more than 3 days. Whats the policy at your agency?

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind bereavement leave is meant to let you deal with organizing a funeral and taking care of details - it's not meant as a time for mourning. And anyone who's dealt with shutting down someone's life and handling a funeral knows two days is not enough time.

I attended my mom's funeral via Zoom on my MacBook while my work laptop was open right next to it and I was working. Sometimes life really sucks, OP.

Don't quit - then you'll have lost two things that were very important, in two very different ways.

[Anonymous]

That is insane that they do not have bereavement leave.

I’m so sorry for your loss OP. I agree with just taking sick until you can figure it out. Consider it “mental health” sickness.

It sounds like you have a good manager, regardless. You shouldn’t have to have a good manager. Take the time you need and either take sick days or work from home until you can even deal with that part.

[Anonymous]

My job is entirely based on personal commission earnings so I don't get bereavement leave either. Sometimes you just have to take leave anyway.

[Anonymous]

Can you not use vacation leave?

[Anonymous]

I’ve never worked anywhere with bereavement leave. Why are you talking to HR before your supervisor? HR is not there to help you. Just work something out with your supervisor

[Anonymous]

So sorry for your loss. Please talk 1 on 1 verbally with your boss or hr to resolve/see what you can do. You got this.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. Please talk to your boss. If they are human, they will understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry. Please talk to your boss. If they are human, they will understand.

This. We just tell people to put their family first and assume that they won't take advantage.