The right boarding school

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are exploring boarding schools for our child. We have had some wonderful experiences and interactions while others have been unprofessional at best.

We love Andover, Exeter, and Hotchkiss to name a few. One of these schools stands out above the rest. My child made friends with the students, enjoyed interactions with admissions staff, and genuinely felt welcome. Conversely, we had a horrible experience with an admissions representative from Choate. To be blunt, the admissions rep was outright rude and unprofessional. Obviously Choate is no longer on our list.

We want a welcoming school for our child. Which NE boarding school has a reputation for having down to earth kids and strong academics? We are also considering Lawrenceville, Deerfield, Taft, and Middlesex to name a few.

Please do not respond if you haven’t been to boarding school, don’t have relatives who went to boarding school, or don’t have a child in boarding school. Or if you are inclined to make a judgement about boarding schools.

[Anonymous]

Troll harder.

[Anonymous]

The warmth (or lack thereof) of the admissions office tells you very little about the warmth of the school. After all, students don't interact with admissions staff.

[Anonymous]

From what I have heard from friends with recent experience, Deerfield does not meet those criteria. It’s the opposite of down to earth.

[Anonymous]

I went to one of the 3 schools you mentioned in the 90s. I grew up way too fast. I did more drugs and had more (not fun and not safe) sex than any of my friends who went to day schools and lived at home. What you see on the tours is only a fraction of boarding school life. My parents were clueless.

Maybe times have changed…? I doubt it. I’d never send my kids to boarding school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to one of the 3 schools you mentioned in the 90s. I grew up way too fast. I did more drugs and had more (not fun and not safe) sex than any of my friends who went to day schools and lived at home. What you see on the tours is only a fraction of boarding school life. My parents were clueless.

Maybe times have changed…? I doubt it. I’d never send my kids to boarding school.

This. I went to an independent day school. Several friends transferred to the schools you list, OP. All encountered environments like the one PP outlined above. I would never send my child as a result. I want DC to take their time as a kid and teen.

[Anonymous]

Don’t rule out Choate based on one experience. You left out Northfield Mount Hermon, Avon Old Farms, Gunn, Pomfret. Uniquely, NMH has a work program where students have campus jobs for a few hours every week. If you want to “down to earth”, it’s worth a visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t rule out Choate based on one experience. You left out Northfield Mount Hermon, Avon Old Farms, Gunn, Pomfret. Uniquely, NMH has a work program where students have campus jobs for a few hours every week. If you want to “down to earth”, it’s worth a visit.

The admissions representative was our interviewer. Very dismissive, questioned whether our child really played a sport, interpreted me while I was asking my questions, and made the most disapproving facial expressions. We have never had an admissions interview like that. Not sure what happened during my child’s interview but my child was in tears after. I can’t in good conscience continue the application process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t rule out Choate based on one experience. You left out Northfield Mount Hermon, Avon Old Farms, Gunn, Pomfret. Uniquely, NMH has a work program where students have campus jobs for a few hours every week. If you want to “down to earth”, it’s worth a visit.

The admissions representative was our interviewer. Very dismissive, questioned whether our child really played a sport, interpreted me while I was asking my questions, and made the most disapproving facial expressions. We have never had an admissions interview like that. Not sure what happened during my child’s interview but my child was in tears after. I can’t in good conscience continue the application process.

Sorry to hear that; so that experience helps you to narrow your search which is fine. You’ll probably like NMH, which has always been more down to earth and less pretentious; it’s part of the school’s raison d’etre. The historic campus is stunning, and it’s convenient to the other boarding schools you’ll be visiting.

Deerfield and NMH are geographical neighbors and my family has connections to both. Fun fact: both campuses were filming locations for the Paul Giamatti boarding school film The Holdovers (2023). . . . Hotchkiss is just over an hour away in Connecticut, and worth a drive.

To expand your search eastward, Milton is just outside of Boston, and Groton School is northwest of the city.

[Anonymous]

To the poster who said that admissions officers don’t interact with students so don’t use them as a guide- for at least 2 of these schools (and probably all 3) that is wrong. Admissions officers also serve as coaches and advisors, live in dorms and interact regularly with existing students. They are an integral part of ongoing life at a school and can and should be seen in that context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the poster who said that admissions officers don’t interact with students so don’t use them as a guide- for at least 2 of these schools (and probably all 3) that is wrong. Admissions officers also serve as coaches and advisors, live in dorms and interact regularly with existing students. They are an integral part of ongoing life at a school and can and should be seen in that context.

+1. Two of my kids are at a boarding school not mentioned in this thread but the admissions officers are definitely involved in day to day life. This was standard at all the boarding schools we considered.

[Anonymous]

I went to Lawrenceville and continue to be blown away by the resources they offer. My kids go to a very well-regarded independent school here, and it doesn’t compare. I don’t think boarding school is the right fit for my kids, but if that changes, Lville would be top of my list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Lawrenceville and continue to be blown away by the resources they offer. My kids go to a very well-regarded independent school here, and it doesn’t compare. I don’t think boarding school is the right fit for my kids, but if that changes, Lville would be top of my list.

I went to The Hill School but know several individuals and families associated with L’ville. If my child wanted to go to a boarding school, L’ville would be at the top of the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Lawrenceville and continue to be blown away by the resources they offer. My kids go to a very well-regarded independent school here, and it doesn’t compare. I don’t think boarding school is the right fit for my kids, but if that changes, Lville would be top of my list.

I also went to Lawrenceville and have friends still in the area who are involved at the school, so I am still somewhat aware of it, though as an adult. I really struggle with the amazing opportunities I had there and that I won’t be giving them to my kids. But it’s also an intense pressure cooker that I feel contributed to making me a workaholic. Nothing was ever good enough. On balance I’d rather them have some downtime and learn to relax instead of grinding from age 14 onward.

[Anonymous]

Didn't the head of NMH write a letter supporting his friend who police believe molested his own daughter?