Does anyone get annoyed when people tell kids to do extracurriculars they are “passionate” about?

[Anonymous]

Passion has a pretty weak correlation with success from my experience, and many others would agree. A ton of kids who are passionate about sports can’t even pass tryouts for high school. Passion itself isn’t enough for extracurricular success

[Anonymous]

Success is being happy. Not winning trophies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Passion has a pretty weak correlation with success from my experience, and many others would agree. A ton of kids who are passionate about sports can’t even pass tryouts for high school. Passion itself isn’t enough for extracurricular success

No. What a peculiar thing to be annoyed by.

[Anonymous]

Extracurricular activities are more far reaching than sports. And given the work and commitment it takes to college level sports and even HS level, kids who do them better be passionate.

[Anonymous]

I know what you mean. I think the advice comes from a place that kind of makes sense- like don't invest time and energy and effort into a random club because your BFF is in it.

But the advice is misapplied. In a lot of cases, it is absolutely not hurtful and maybe helpful to join an activity just for the heck of it.

[Anonymous]

Isn’t that the point of extra-curriculars? Activities that the kid enjoys?

[Anonymous]

What?

I encourage my kids to do ECs they enjoy- I don’t care if they are the best or even good as long as they are enjoying life. This is life too.

Some ECs are non negotiable- they have to learn to swim. They have to do at least one thing active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t that the point of extra-curriculars? Activities that the kid enjoys?

Enjoyment and passion aren’t the same thing. My kid enjoys her part-time job, in part because she likes her co-workers and in part because she gets paid. But she’s not “passionate” about it.

[Anonymous]

What better motivation to do something other than being passionate? Of course eventually they'll need to earn a living (and bonus if it can be related to a passion), but in high school, follow your passions!

Even as adults, there's value in hobbies even when (especially when!) you're not particularly good.

[Anonymous]

I generally hate the way the word “passion” is foisted upon kids these days. One of my kids came home from school in tears in fourth grade because they had to choose something they were passionate about for a project and he couldn’t think of anything. And more power to all the ten year olds who do have true passions, but I think it’s kind of loaded language for kids who should be dabbling in a bit of everything.

That said, the sentiment of doing ECs you’re “passionate” about makes sense. It just needs rewording. Do what you enjoy, what makes you happy, not what you think will make your resume look good.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think most people do give advice to do ECs a kid is “passionate” about. Most people tell you to find a couple things you enjoy and do those.

The people talking about passion are the ones actually doing the opposite — they are going all in on a thing that maybe little Larlo once showed and interest or skill in and the parents decided that was going to be his “passion” in order to curate the hell out of him and appropriately package him for Harvard admissions, fake “passion project” and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Extracurricular activities are more far reaching than sports. And given the work and commitment it takes to college level sports and even HS level, kids who do them better be passionate.

+1 It's hard to spend a lot of time and effort on something you're not passionate about.

But there's plenty of time in elementary and middle to figure out what you're passionate about (or at least really enjoy).

[Anonymous]

I’ve never heard someone say this. I’ve heard people say kids should do ECs they enjoy rather than picking them for some perceived admissions advantage. But I’ve never heard someone assert that kids need to be “passionate” about their ECs.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a semantics thing. Some people say passion and mean “a thing you enjoy.” Other people mean something you care far more deeply about, your driving source and focus.

The first, great, yes, kids should do ECs they enjoy. The second? If your kid has that thing, sure, but the number of 14-18-year-olds who have a true driving passion that translates into a successful, all-encompassing EC is small.

Most kids are just doing what they like and are good at, and that’s fine.

[Anonymous]

How does what other parents tell their kids impact you, OP?

Also, some people are good at their passions. I've found my kids tend to enjoy the activities they excel in most, because it's fun to excel. They also show more willingness to work hard at something where their hard work results in success. So IME, encouraging kids to pursue things they are passionate about has worked out.