Is a holiday wishlist rude?
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Anonymous
| My husband has a big family, and they are very big gift givers. Every year they (and my parents) ask what gift/gifts I want and I spend time agonizing over what to say. Did I request something too expensive? Is it enough? My husband passes on whatever I say but I feel weird about it. It’s relatively easy to do this for our toddler but hard for me. Is it rude to just have a gift “wishlist” they can pick from? I feel like it’s incredibly rude—would it come off as a Christmas registry? Is there a good format for this? |
Anonymous
| I would not do that. Adults who are focused on gifts are weird. Just ask for a candle or gloves or something. |
Anonymous
| If they ask, they probably won’t find it rude. A list is how our family does it. I keep an email that I add suggestions to thru the year. Then when they ask I send suggestions from the list across price points. |
Anonymous
| I would appreciate it as I don't know what you have/want/need and would rather get you what you will use. I would not send it out except if they ask for it. |
Anonymous
| I asked my college-aged kids for their lists and they sent me lists from a site called giftful. It's actually so great and useful: links specifically to the items, in desired color, size...I personally love a really specific list, makes my life easier! |
Anonymous
| Maybe it is rude, but I started giving my MIL specific suggestions when she asked because she was spending $200+ on what I’d call ‘generic nice items’ I didn’t really need (mugs, socks, coasters, etc.) I’d rather get one $100 item I genuinely wanted than $200 of stuff that’s nice but I already had plenty of. |
Anonymous
| Not if people are asking what you want. How can it be rude in that case? |
Anonymous
| It's not rude if they are asking. |
Anonymous
| Just commiserating OP since I dislike the adult gift giving culture around Christmas too. Let’s say I could use a nice soft warm winter hat from Vuori in a different color than I already have. Instead of just purchasing this hat in mid November, when I want it, I think “oh , Carol already asked me twice what I wanted for Christmas, I’ll give her this idea”. So I tell her. Then she asks me questions about where she can buy this in person or if it has to be online. Then she asks me again what color I wanted. Then she asks me for a back up color in case the department store is out of my preferred color. Then, finally, on Christmas, I get my hat that I’ve been wishing I had for the last 5 weeks, and it’s the wrong color, because Carol didn’t want to pay for shipping and the store only had orange left. So now I have to return it in person with the gift receipt, which takes 2 hours out of my Saturday, and then go online and buy myself the hat I could have just bought myself 5 weeks ago except I needed to be polite and give Carol a gift idea. Bonus points if the color I had wanted is now sold out after the holidays. |
Anonymous
This exactly! Why do adults need to give each other anything. I understand gifts for the kids but for adults?? I feel like I can just buy myself whatever I need during the year. I don’t need random friend or relatives buying me a random scarf or gloves. Most gifts are not thoughtful and feel like just a random present. |
Anonymous
|
We've always kept Amazon Wishlists for grandparents. I don't love it and was glad when they went private a few years ago.
When our kid goes to college in a few years I will take it as an opportunity to consider ditching the list and doing less or maybe traveling instead. |
Anonymous
| In our family we all do want lists. We generally do things that are a range of prices. Something that costs $20, something that costs $200 and a couple in between. I've asked for fancy socks, for example. They're expensive for socks, but not a lot of money to spend on a holiday gift. |
Anonymous
| Yes… |
Anonymous
| I think it’s fine if they’ve asked for ideas. |
Anonymous
| Yes (to answer your subject line.) |