My son cannot initiate friendship

[Anonymous]

My son is considered high functioning. A family, that we have known since both their only son and my son at age 2 till now at age 11, has been on and off asking me for the last few years on & off if my son can help their son to facilitate friendship at the same school that they attend. Our son also struggles at friendship at school, and I have been wondering why that family think that our son could help theirs. He is loud, talking a lot, and is a fake extrovert, and I wonder if he gives off the wrong signals to the family that he is a social butterfly...omg. I have told the parents a few times that my son struggles at friendship as well. I did not say that out directly, but there is no way that I can force my son to initiate and be the lead of a friendship at school because he probably can't and does not know how.

He has a few friends to play at school, and he enjoys to participate in a lot of group activities and some sports. He does not have any real friends at school. My son sees that boy as his friend, but he finds him a bit boring and quiet. He likes to play and talk to silly kids that are active moving around and probably talking a ton. School has some quirky kids like him, and that's probably why he has a few friends. Without me telling the family about my kids diagnosis, any ways to make it less awkward for me if they mention that again next time. We bump into each other quite often maybe a few times a month outside of school.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to say the diagnosis. Tell her your son, like many boys that age, is not great at that kind of thing. Then offer to help her in some other way, like by introducing her to other moms or helping her figure out what activities will work best.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your son could use the work on social skills, I’d accept the offer or set up some facilitated play dates.

[Anonymous]

I’d suggest they look into social skills groups or ask the guidance counselor for help.