People with low motivation/effort->not good at anything

[Anonymous]

Hopefully it’s the right forum.
What happens to these people? Those who claim to have “passions” but are very low effort and therefore no success and then are either bad at it or move on to other things. I know a few young people who are like that. What’s your experience? Do they mature and become good at something? Or do they drift through life, hanging by a thread?

[Anonymous]

Sigh. I don't know. My daughter is like this. She's 23 and doesn't have a job despite a college degree. Quit the sports that we encouraged her to do. Quit her STEM major for a fluffy arts degree.


FWIW no one else in my family, including me, DW, and DS are like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. I don't know. My daughter is like this. She's 23 and doesn't have a job despite a college degree. Quit the sports that we encouraged her to do. Quit her STEM major for a fluffy arts degree.


FWIW no one else in my family, including me, DW, and DS are like this.

My teen DS is like this but I was hoping he’d grow out of it. You know how there’s a trope that if one likes something they are motivated to do well? No such thing for him. Once consistent effort is required - nah, it’s ok, it’s good enough. I wonder if it’s some sort of mental condition?

[Anonymous]

She works at a bakery/cafe full time. She has always been someone who would rather NOT try because she's so afraid to fail, not seeing you can fail, regroup and try again. So she's 22 and has taken like three college classes after dropping out of HS and eventually getting a GED. Very sad.

[Anonymous]

My brother was what his teachers called a “gifted drifter”. He dithered along until he met his now-wife at age 25 and that seemed to suddenly wake him up. He’s now 40 and doing extremely well in a niche field. But my parents spent many years despairing about him.

[Anonymous]

The only young adults I know who fit this category have parents who have bailed them out (providing housing, etc). It is doubtful the kid is ever going to step up IMHO.

[Anonymous]

A lot of people don't have the tenacity or the skills to do anything hard in life. This is why we need lower level jobs and smaller living spaces. Its also OK to be this type of person and live your life with your family. People do this all over the world and then they take care of their parents in old age.

[Anonymous]

Y'all need actual lives with actual problems. Not being driven (into the ground) at 23 is hardly "not good at anything", and there's nothing wrong with working at a bakery and being a decent human being.

This thread seems to be full of people who peaked in college and think being a workaholic is success. You're a mindless cog in a wheel that doesn't give a single eff about you. Please contain your misery instead of trying to project it onto others who are happily living their own lives. Go be (allegedly) rich and (allegedly) successful (according to your narrow ass definition) somewhere else, and do it quietly. Nobody needs your approval.

And if you're treating your own children this way, you SUCK as a parent. Back all the way off! Congrats on the crippling pressure you put on your kids before they even got a chance to be independent adults. Absolutely pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people don't have the tenacity or the skills to do anything hard in life. This is why we need lower level jobs and smaller living spaces. Its also OK to be this type of person and live your life with your family. People do this all over the world and then they take care of their parents in old age.

OMG, you're so close... and yet...

The rest of the world lives this way because it's actually functional. Whatever BS you bought into about how only people at the top of the heap of exhausted human bodies are "successful" is a disease. Condescendingly referring to the things that make your life what it is as "lower level jobs" is more indicative of your mental disorder than actual social dysfunction. I bet you push for "smaller living spaces" because you don't want to pay those "lower level" workers a living wage, right?

Gross. Greedy and gross, and grossly overestimating your own actual worth as a human. You are more than a bank account. Sorry nobody loved you enough to tell you that.

[Anonymous]

Most people aren't hugely successful or "good at something." It's fine.

[Anonymous]

Working at a bakery is fine. better than working as the president and stirring up trouble causing massive casualties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people don't have the tenacity or the skills to do anything hard in life. This is why we need lower level jobs and smaller living spaces. Its also OK to be this type of person and live your life with your family. People do this all over the world and then they take care of their parents in old age.

OMG, you're so close... and yet...

The rest of the world lives this way because it's actually functional. Whatever BS you bought into about how only people at the top of the heap of exhausted human bodies are "successful" is a disease. Condescendingly referring to the things that make your life what it is as "lower level jobs" is more indicative of your mental disorder than actual social dysfunction. I bet you push for "smaller living spaces" because you don't want to pay those "lower level" workers a living wage, right?

Gross. Greedy and gross, and grossly overestimating your own actual worth as a human. You are more than a bank account. Sorry nobody loved you enough to tell you that.

Thank you. I truly believe this person's world view is a huge part of what's wrong with this world. Worth is inherent and doesn't come from what you do. Believing your worth comes from money and success causes you anxiety because you always have to have more and allows you to "other" people, which is toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. I don't know. My daughter is like this. She's 23 and doesn't have a job despite a college degree. Quit the sports that we encouraged her to do. Quit her STEM major for a fluffy arts degree.


FWIW no one else in my family, including me, DW, and DS are like this.

Stop judging her worth based on her accomplishments. She's probably depressed from not being understood and valued for who she is apart from what she could do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people don't have the tenacity or the skills to do anything hard in life. This is why we need lower level jobs and smaller living spaces. Its also OK to be this type of person and live your life with your family. People do this all over the world and then they take care of their parents in old age.

OMG, you're so close... and yet...

The rest of the world lives this way because it's actually functional. Whatever BS you bought into about how only people at the top of the heap of exhausted human bodies are "successful" is a disease. Condescendingly referring to the things that make your life what it is as "lower level jobs" is more indicative of your mental disorder than actual social dysfunction. I bet you push for "smaller living spaces" because you don't want to pay those "lower level" workers a living wage, right?

Gross. Greedy and gross, and grossly overestimating your own actual worth as a human. You are more than a bank account. Sorry nobody loved you enough to tell you that.

Thank you. I truly believe this person's world view is a huge part of what's wrong with this world. Worth is inherent and doesn't come from what you do. Believing your worth comes from money and success causes you anxiety because you always have to have more and allows you to "other" people, which is toxic.

Lol. Who said anything about them being less worth? Look in the mirror as to why your thoughts went that way. No one needs to support others just because they aren't as skilled. In fact it would diminish their worth as an adult to do so and as you said money does not define worth so money and living spaces don't define worth. They simply define what people can afford. People who have less motivation and skills can make less money and live in smaller spaces and still have worth as a human. You said it yourself.

[Anonymous]

I'm like this. I'm still a productive member of society. I love people, and they love me. And in my late 40s my random hobbies came together into a new career for me. And a decade later i'm traveling the world as the foremost expert on this subject. I needed the breadth of knowledge before the depth of experience could happen.