How do you explain depression to children?

[Anonymous]

I have two ages 4 and 2 . My sister has major depressive disorder. When she's doing well she's a great aunt , engaged fun and my kids love her. When she's not doing well she checks out of everything and my 4vear old is starting to notice this. Asking why she doesn't visit or call or come play. I've said that auntie doesn't feel well and is resting.
But this feels like not enough. I don't want to overwhelm him with information. I also don't want him to think that auntie doesn't love him. I'm also not going to cut my sister off as has been suggested to me.

[Anonymous]

My mother was bipolar. It took a while for my kids to notice but eventually I just explained to the kids that their grandmother’s brain worked differently from others. That explanation evolved as they grew older but I even now as high schoolers I’ve tried to protect my mother’s privacy, even after she has passed away. There is no need to drag every skeleton out of the closet.

[Anonymous]

My dad just told us that my mom had a migraine and needed to rest. But I would overhear them arguing about whether she had the right to kill herself, so I figured it out pretty quickly.

Thank you for supporting your sister. Maybe do what someone else suggested, and tell your kids that her brain works differently, and she needs some space. As they get older, you can tell them more, but you won't have been lying.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes people are sick in their bodies, like when you had that terrible cold and used up so many tissues. And sometimes people are sick in their heads, and it means they don't feel well enough to visit with people, and have to go to the doctor to try a few different medicines before they feel well enough to play again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad just told us that my mom had a migraine and needed to rest. But I would overhear them arguing about whether she had the right to kill herself, so I figured it out pretty quickly.

Thank you for supporting your sister. Maybe do what someone else suggested, and tell your kids that her brain works differently, and she needs some space. As they get older, you can tell them more, but you won't have been lying.

I’m so sorry you lived through that.

[Anonymous]

The brain is also part of the body, no need to separate it out as sick in the head…anymore than having any neurological based condition makes one sick in the head.

You can just say she is sick and sometimes doesn’t have much energy and needs to rest but that as soon as she feels well and has energy she will come and see them again.

[Anonymous]

My brother is bipolar. We just say, uncle joe isn’t feeling up to it today. Now that my kids are are teens, we’ve explained that bipolar disorder runs through the maternal male line in my family, but it wasn’t something we discussed until they were able to understand what that was and separate it from their uncle’s behavior to know it wasn’t personal to them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The brain is also part of the body, no need to separate it out as sick in the head…anymore than having any neurological based condition makes one sick in the head.

You can just say she is sick and sometimes doesn’t have much energy and needs to rest but that as soon as she feels well and has energy she will come and see them again.

This is good and nonjudgmental.

[Anonymous]

My husband is depressed and I told the children that he has an illness called depression that makes him feel sad and angry and tired and even if it seems like it's directed at them, it isn't caused by them or anything they do. Some of them had follow up questions and some of them didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two ages 4 and 2 . My sister has major depressive disorder. When she's doing well she's a great aunt , engaged fun and my kids love her. When she's not doing well she checks out of everything and my 4vear old is starting to notice this. Asking why she doesn't visit or call or come play. I've said that auntie doesn't feel well and is resting.
But this feels like not enough. I don't want to overwhelm him with information. I also don't want him to think that auntie doesn't love him. I'm also not going to cut my sister off as has been suggested to me.

What you’ve shared is enough for kids that age.

[Anonymous]

My sister also has a major depressive disorder. .. We talk about the different Winnie the Pooh characters and piglet is nervous, Tigger is happy but full of too much energy, and Eyore tends to be sad and low on energy... and we just say Auntie is like Eyore most days... They get it for the most part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother was bipolar. It took a while for my kids to notice but eventually I just explained to the kids that their grandmother’s brain worked differently from others. That explanation evolved as they grew older but I even now as high schoolers I’ve tried to protect my mother’s privacy, even after she has passed away. There is no need to drag every skeleton out of the closet.

I think you should at least tell them the accurate condition because it's genetic.

My family had some relatives they didn't discuss and it's clear now long after the fact there's an inherited condition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother was bipolar. It took a while for my kids to notice but eventually I just explained to the kids that their grandmother’s brain worked differently from others. That explanation evolved as they grew older but I even now as high schoolers I’ve tried to protect my mother’s privacy, even after she has passed away. There is no need to drag every skeleton out of the closet.

I think you should at least tell them the accurate condition because it's genetic.

My family had some relatives they didn't discuss and it's clear now long after the fact there's an inherited condition.

I agree with you 100%. More than 100%

And my children happen to be adopted so this is not relevant in their very specific situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother was bipolar. It took a while for my kids to notice but eventually I just explained to the kids that their grandmother’s brain worked differently from others. That explanation evolved as they grew older but I even now as high schoolers I’ve tried to protect my mother’s privacy, even after she has passed away. There is no need to drag every skeleton out of the closet.

I think you should at least tell them the accurate condition because it's genetic.

My family had some relatives they didn't discuss and it's clear now long after the fact there's an inherited condition.

Also there is a difference between telling them the specific diagnosis and how I personally experienced it. They were largely protected from the bulk of the cruelty. I don’t need to unnecessarily drag them down that rabbit hole.